PhineasG Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 I honestly don't get my predicament AT ALL. I've been on a slew of first dates in the past year, but EVERY GIRL wouldn't see me for a second. I wasn't angry about it until today, when I nearly lost my rag. One girl, who gave me nothing but positive body language signals (hair touching, eye contact, personal questions, pointed feet at me, laughed at all of my jokes, touched me, et cetera) when we went out yesterday, e-mailed me this morning to say I "wasn't a perfect match for [her]" and didn't want to see me again! After that, I called a girl who gave me her number at a party over the weekend, only to get a recording: "This number is not available." The nerve! The final straw was when another girl I was supposed to meet today calls me on my way to her place and says, "I'm sorry, I forgot I was supposed to have dinner with my friends." and cancels on me! That's THREE girls in ONE DAY! I'm not weird-looking, I don't live with my parents, I don't talk about heavy subjects, I make my dates laugh, I ask them a lot of safe, personal questions...I think I'm just not meant to have a girlfriend ever again. I've had ten dates in the last two months, and they've ALL blown up in my face! What the Hell am I doing wrong?
208PUA Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 It's really hard to say exactly was going wrong. After all we humans have a tendency to lie to ourselves. Do they mention anything specific why the cancel. Is there anything you did during the dates that seemed to not be well received? Can you provide some more information? Maybe a break down of a date or two. Maybe post here or PM me a copy of the girl's email? Since you've had so many dates in such a small amount of time, maybe your being too aggressive?
208PUA Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 It's really hard to say exactly was going wrong. After all we humans have a tendency to lie to ourselves. Do they mention anything specific why the cancel. Is there anything you did during the dates that seemed to not be well received? Can you provide some more information? Maybe a break down of a date or two. Maybe post here or PM me a copy of the girl's email? Since you've had so many dates in such a small amount of time, maybe your being too aggressive?
208PUA Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 It's really hard to say exactly was going wrong. After all we humans have a tendency to lie to ourselves. Do they mention anything specific why the cancel. Is there anything you did during the dates that seemed to not be well received? Can you provide some more information? Maybe a break down of a date or two. Maybe post here or PM me a copy of the girl's email? Since you've had so many dates in such a small amount of time, maybe your being too aggressive?
GregsBad Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 I wasn't angry about it until today, when I nearly lost my rag. Did you, by any chance, use the "rag" word in thier presence?
Krytellan Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 Yeah man. The only constant in all of your situations this past year is you. There must be something about your interaction style or the way you act that leaves a bad impression. It can be tough to face up to the fact that it may actually be you, but if you want to improve your situation, I would encourage you to try to think about what the issue might be. Maybe ask some friends if they can give you any insight into things about you that might make people uncomfortable.
DanielMadr Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 You sound desperate. And they probably can sense it. Solution is not to look desperate by being not desperate. The celibacy approach is a good one. Its politically correct way of saying "I dont give a f@ck if I get laid". And believe it or not, its the best attitude to get laid. Once you do care, you become nervous hence weak in their eyes and they blow you off. I dont think you should give up. But I recommend you to repair your Chick Radar. Some of these chicks you are talking about are bitchy. Your happiness is not based on fact if you have a chic or not. If you think it gets a chic to make you happy you will never pull any decent looking one. Dont give up. It takes more than 10 dates to find a match. And stay of the internet dating.
Trialbyfire Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 I'm not weird-looking, I don't live with my parents, I don't talk about heavy subjects, I make my dates laugh, I ask them a lot of safe, personal questions... Sorry to hear about this. It must be frustrating. So the question begs to be asked. Is this really who you are or are you pretending something you're not? Relax and be yourself. If this means some heavy topics but you're intense and interested in it, so be it. Not every woman is a ball of fluff. Some want intellectual challenge. Show your best "real" side. Good luck!
208PUA Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 The celibacy approach is a good one. Its politically correct way of saying "I dont give a f@ck if I get laid". And believe it or not, its the best attitude to get laid. Once you do care, you become nervous hence weak in their eyes and they blow you off.DanielMadr is exactly right my friend. Think about the kinda guys the hot girls in high school got. You never saw them with the Computer Club nerds who were nervous yet sensitive nice guy types did you? Nope. They dated guys who were jerks probably, but not total jerks ya know. Now I'm not saying be a dick, but don't be a pussy either. Women are emotional creatures, and they LIKE to feel their emotions. Think chick flicks . A guy who only showers a women with gifts and affection and is super needy is BORING. Subconsciously women want a man who will take them through a full range of emotions: Love, Lust, Jealousy, Sadness, Happiness, and so on. Think about this. Women and Men are still wired the same way they were as cavemen, like animals. Look at the animal kingdom. When a female is looking for a male to mate with, she trys to select only the strongest male specimen. This is to ensure her (and the species) ability to SURVIVE and REPLICATE. So girls will look for the athletes, the guys with money, etc etc. Also think about this, men in general are pretty big on breasts. Why? The instinctual reasoning is that a woman with bigger breasts has more milk to offer hungry offspring. Hope that helps some. Please give us more info OP!
DanielMadr Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 Is this really who you are or are you pretending something you're not? Relax and be yourself. In other words, behave like you normaly do....among friends or girls you have no sexual interest in. So behave like you dont give a f@ck if get her or not. Thanx for proving my point Trialbyfire;)
DanielMadr Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 Also think about this, men in general are pretty big on breasts. Why? The instinctual reasoning is that a woman with bigger breasts has more milk to offer hungry offspring. Woman with big boobs can also slow you down when you are trying to escape the sabre-tiger. She can entwist in branches running through a bush.
208PUA Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 I think boobs have many more dangers than simply that...but will it change our desire for them...hell no. haha
Lizzie60 Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 I honestly don't get my predicament AT ALL. I've been on a slew of first dates in the past year, but EVERY GIRL wouldn't see me for a second. I wasn't angry about it until today, when I nearly lost my rag. One girl, who gave me nothing but positive body language signals (hair touching, eye contact, personal questions, pointed feet at me, laughed at all of my jokes, touched me, et cetera) when we went out yesterday, e-mailed me this morning to say I "wasn't a perfect match for [her]" and didn't want to see me again! After that, I called a girl who gave me her number at a party over the weekend, only to get a recording: "This number is not available." The nerve! The final straw was when another girl I was supposed to meet today calls me on my way to her place and says, "I'm sorry, I forgot I was supposed to have dinner with my friends." and cancels on me! That's THREE girls in ONE DAY! I'm not weird-looking, I don't live with my parents, I don't talk about heavy subjects, I make my dates laugh, I ask them a lot of safe, personal questions...I think I'm just not meant to have a girlfriend ever again. I've had ten dates in the last two months, and they've ALL blown up in my face! What the Hell am I doing wrong? Stop this!!! Celibacy..wow I hate that word... stop dramatizing... from your post, I bet you're quite young. It has to be 'you' somehow... something about your personality maybe you sound too desperate (big turn-off), maybe you ask too many personal questions (too nosey), maybe you're trying too hard and they can sense you're not being yourself.... it could be so many things... But one huge turn-off is bad breath... have you check that... I dated one really hot guy once...but gosh, his breath was incredibly bad... he smelled like he had just eaten 'poop'..yuck... it smelled in the whole room... a lot of people have bad breath and they have no clue, if noone tells you.. you might not know... ask someone that you trust will tell you the truth about this very 'sensitive' subject. Or ask some of the girls who 'dumped' you, you have nothing to lose... they might tell you the truth. But please stop being sooo negative.... try to find the 'reason' why it's like that instead of thinking about 'celibacy'...
Art_Critic Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 I was going to go with the dragon breath... I have dated women that never got a second date because of their breath.. If you are on an low carb diet that also can cause bad breath.. they call it ketone breath. It also might be something small you talk about that they key on.. If you use maybe a racist term that you don't realize is racist..or you might say something like use the word biotch.. or even rag.. so there might also just be a few words that you use that signal either anger, racism or the like that when they hear the words they run.. You say you make them laugh.. that is the key to being successful in dating as all women love to laugh.. but if you are using touchy jokes.. such as sexual jokes or jokes that make fun of people that can be a turnoff on a first date.
2ndIINone Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 Def. trying to hard. Don't pursue, don't chase. In fact, look at your own actions over the last few 'tries'... and do the complete opposite.
IWalkAlone Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 Def. trying to hard. Don't pursue, don't chase. In fact, look at your own actions over the last few 'tries'... and do the complete opposite. Le's see... Instead of approching women I don't know, don't approach. Don't ask phone numbers. Don't invite her out. Instead of asking her about her interests, ignore her and talk about my interests. And if she seems to be not interested, keep talking. Seriously, I know that some guys are persured and chased by women, but many are not, at least not more often than once every few years. Whenever I've tried the "do nothing" approach - nothing happens. I find that if you can't win if you don't play the game.
Trialbyfire Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 *shrugs* Okay, LS women, you can strike me down for not being assertive enough but I've yet to ask a guy out and the day I do, there will be a blue moon hanging in the sky within touching distance. If a guy can't get up the balls, the effort or is gaming, to ask me out, his loss. So, if I'm like the average woman, y'all are screwed (well, actually, the complete opposite if you think about it) if you sit back and wait.
SouthernT Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 Okay, LS women, you can strike me down for not being assertive enough but I've yet to ask a guy out and the day I do, there will be a blue moon hanging in the sky within touching distance. If a guy can't get up the balls, the effort or is gaming, to ask me out, his loss. EXACTLY!!! I completley agree with you here. For as long as I can remember, I was told that it actually turns a guy off when a woman does this. But the problem is that men have gotten lazy because women a so aggressive these days. So guys think all they have to do is kick up their feet, relax and let the women do the work. And what happens guys? What happens is that you miss out on the one girl that is dreaming about the day that you will actually approach her and ask her out.
Trialbyfire Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 EXACTLY!!! I completley agree with you here. For as long as I can remember, I was told that it actually turns a guy off when a woman does this. But the problem is that men have gotten lazy because women a so aggressive these days. So guys think all they have to do is kick up their feet, relax and let the women do the work. And what happens guys? What happens is that you miss out on the one girl that is dreaming about the day that you will actually approach her and ask her out. Well, I have to be honest and say that I can't recall ever pining for a guy to ask me out, either. Since I rarely, if never have strong interest in a guy until he pursues a lot, it becomes a catch 22 I suppose. He shows no interest, I'm not interested. Not a game, it's my composite.
faire l'amour Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 It also might be something small you talk about that they key on..If you use maybe a racist term that you don't realize is racist..or you might say something like use the word biotch.. or even rag.. so there might also just be a few words that you use that signal either anger, racism or the like that when they hear the words they run.. You say you make them laugh.. that is the key to being successful in dating as all women love to laugh.. but if you are using touchy jokes.. such as sexual jokes or jokes that make fun of people that can be a turnoff on a first date. I would have to agree with this. I have dated guys before that when they talk, they just sound really stupid. I didn't really feel like dealing with it again, so I didn't date them again. Also, are you staring at her boobs rather than her face when you talk? a lot of girls pick up on that and don't like it. I think that if they are wearing a shirt where you can practically see them, they are just asking for it, but if they are not, they probably don't want you to stare at them. Also, considering the breath thing is a GOOD idea. A lot of people don't know if they have bad breath. Consider getting a tounge scraper, just in case. it helps get odor and bacteria off of your tounge and only takes a second to use. Good luck man.
faire l'amour Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 *shrugs* Okay, LS women, you can strike me down for not being assertive enough but I've yet to ask a guy out and the day I do, there will be a blue moon hanging in the sky within touching distance. QUOTE] ...Um...this may sound stupid, but...what are LS women? lol
Art_Critic Posted May 18, 2007 Posted May 18, 2007 Also' date=' are you staring at her boobs rather than her face when you talk?[/quote'] That is a really good point.. when you talk to a woman you need to not let your eyes even grace her boobs.. women are sensitive to this as men are always doing this.. You look into a woman's eyes when you converse with her.. not only do you look/gaze into her eyes you have to do it with a genuine interest in what she is saying.. You need to take what she is talking about and make it part of YOUR conversation.. you need not talk about yourself.. you ask questions about her and let her ask you questions about you.. When she does you answer her shortly and detailed without dragging on and then ask something about her. If you can't show genuine interest in her thoughts, ideas and conversation then she will without a doubt pickup on that and blow you off for a second date.. In short you give her your 100% undivided attention.. no looking at other people walking by the table.. she wants to feel as if you really want to be there with her..
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