hardcase Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 We could also have found some total stranger to have sex with, then could have brought home some disease or "fatal attraction" person. We chose to help each out. Gee...how thoughtful you are......phfffft.
Flyin in Clouds Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Posts like these make me want to vomit. Sorry, there's a bottle of pink liquid over on the counter... If you want to continue living a life where you are able to have sex with whomever whenever you please and with 'no strings' attached, then, uh, don't get married! Nope... IF two or more people agree to be swingers or swap wives, none of your business. It is called consensual sex. But consensual is the key word there. ALL parties must agree to do it. No cheating, lying or other deceptions. Just remember to, you know, not get married! While you may not agree with alternate lifestyles doesn't mean everyone has to march to your tune. Seriously, in my opinion, all this spouce swapping and spinning and what other such nonsense is a real low blow for the institution of marriage. Do you also believe everyone has to attend your church or they are forever damned? check out the forum at ourhotwives dot org. When you get married, you should first and foremost getting married for love, closely followed by respect, as well as a positive prospect of happiness. If you don't love, respect, or think you can be happy with X person, then don't marry them, for goodness' sake! Why is that concept so hard to understand? what is hard for you to understand that some couples enjoy recreational sex with others? Just because it's not your cup of tea... just because you have hang ups about sex... When you get married and all of a sudden decide that your penis wants to go f.ck another vagina, I think you should first attempt to work that issue within yourself and then talk it out with your spouce. Well I did. Well actually I asked her if she'd like to have other men or have a threesome with another guy. She said, naw... not interested. Her exact words were not really "no way", they were "it would be weird". Not "that's horrible. how could you think such a thing?" Not "I wouldn't enjoy that at all... " just it would be weird. hmmm... oh well... There is never any justification whatsoever to cheat on a person, whether you are married or not. I agree cheating is wrong. That is why any of that kinky stuff has to be by agreement between H and W. I know being a swinger is a chosen lifestyle, but I simply don't understand the reasoning behind it. You clearly want to have sex with others other than your spouce (and not the fantastical 'oohh, i want to have sex with X movie staaarrr . . . !!' but the kind of feeling you actually act on), so why get married in the first place? Actually my thinking about the MFM threesome was that if I could give my wife X orgasms then two of us could give her 2X. A guy has only got so much to --- err give. Two of us might be able to keep her cuming continually. Well for longer anyway. I wanted her to experience as much pleasure as possible and there are some things that can't be done with just one guy. Why get married? Because I love her. And if on occasion having a gang bang was something she'd enjoy why would I deny the woman I love that pleasure? I'd certainly want to participate though. Why do that to them? It makes no sense to me! I looked at as doing it for her, while we were doing her.
Flyin in Clouds Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 ... I think that these 'alternative lifestyles' are a bunch of bullsh.t. ...., seriously . . . . So how much have you actually conversed with anyone living the lifestyles? Seriously? Go lurk on their board for awhile and see what those folks have to say. I do know that in the swinger and hot wife communities they do have a code of conduct that does define cheating. Cheating is going outside the bounds of what a couple agreed was acceptable and cheating is as highly frowned up in that comminity as in this vanilla one. If the couple agreed that all partners were discussed before hand, but one did something "behind the other back", i.e. hiding it, then that was cheating and grounds for divorce. Simply having sex with third parties in accordance with their own rules was perfectly OK. So sex wasn't the issue. Breaking a set of agreed upon rules was. And that's the same here in vanilla land. The rule is monogamy. Sex with anyone other than one's spouse is cheating. It isn't the sex per se. It's breaking the rules you agreed to live by that is the real problem.
Flyin in Clouds Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 I... And, yes, I did ask my H about swapping partners. He did not "appreciate" that offer... Did you tell him it is either that or a divorce? Did you say, "honey I'm not happy and your not wanting me, sexually, is the problem I've got and if you don't want to fix that then I've got these options. 1. suffer without the sex I'd like. 2. cheat - find someone to take care of me. 3. you step up to the plate and do your duty as a man. 4. divorce I'm not interested in doing 1, but 2, 3 and 4 are options. What's your preference dear? " You're not in prison, you're just married. Mr. Lucky, to all too many people marriage is a prison.
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 There's a difference between marriage and prison. Freedom is not truly freedom unless you feel it inside. Sometimes a person can make us feel free por we can do it for ourselves our we can let the person we trust and love and made vows to, help us reach that freedom together. That's what a marriage could be. Also to little lady, Your STXH, pushed you down a flight of stairs and apparently your gloating about your affairs and whatnot. Your lucky you didnt break your neck, cause maybe next time you cheat, you'll have a bullets pumped into your brain. Cause s*it, happens. U feel me. Also MM's wife might do that to you anyway's once she finds out so good luck with that!
Flyin in Clouds Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 There's a difference between marriage and prison. Yeah, but there is all that "gallows humor" about the "old ball and chain".... Freedom is not truly freedom unless you feel it inside. Just what are you talking about? Freedom to do what? Marriage is all about not being free to bang any woman a man might want.
Trialbyfire Posted May 22, 2007 Posted May 22, 2007 Just what are you talking about? Freedom to do what? Marriage is all about not being free to bang any woman a man might want. FiC. Some of your comments have merit but most in reference to marriage do not. They are all about male dominance and restriction of marriage, which I'm guessing you must be feeling right now since your wife is not happy with the thought of an open marriage, which is what you currently want. Marriage is only restricting if you're not fully committed to the concept of it. When you're honestly committed, straying isn't on your mind all the time. Whey you're honestly committed, fidelity is not a restriction, it's easy because you're not interested in banging all others, truly "forsaking all others". In the OPs situation, she selfishly wants everything without a care about the impact to others, even though she was happy and agreed to the condition of marriage. IF her original agreement with her husband included a swingers style marriage, that would be their choice. Instead, everything is about her choice, including having to lie and cheat about it. This is not admirable behaviour and denigrates the institution of marriage.
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