bigblueeyes Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 OK, I know I will get into trouble for this (God, how many times have I posted this as a first line) But I am getting kind of fed up with the moral majority in this forum in the sense of people seeing everything as black or white. If we lived in societies that belived very strongly in the sanctity of marriage, we would have not have divorce courts. If we were all perfect people, we would not mess up our own lives or those of others. People do stupid things and people do very smart things. People form relationships that may or may not work, whether they are married or not. Sometimes you fall in love with the least suitable person. Sometimes you get hurt or you hurt someone and as long as it is not intentionally, it should be forgiven. We are all human and we cannot control much, especially not other people. And everyone on this forum is unique and has his or her own experience of life, which we should all respect. And we should offer as much support as we can and be as kind as possible, because life is tough. To quote one of my favourite movie: "life is one long turd that you have to take a bite of every day; get used to it." Or if you want the more positive version, which is two sisters talking in another one of my favourite films: Olympia: What do you want for Christmas? Karen: This salon. Then I’d be the boss… No… I’d be happy with a scarf… What do you want? Olympia: A husband, and a house, and not to go out to work… or those long earrings we saw at the shopping center.
redplanet Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 Thankyou bbe for this intelligent and completely sensible post that I totally relate to. Would love to say more but am rushing off to work, so will check in later.
Ladyjane14 Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 You know, there are OTHER forums in which diversity of opinion is not allowed. If this forum is intolerable to you... there's no gun to your head keeping you here. ...it should be forgiven..... ....We are all human And as such... not REQUIRED to be in the business of blanket forgiveness. You want forgiveness?... ask whatever deity you pray to.
quankanne Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 what you post is true, but you need to factor in the part of human nature that gets fed up with people who (a) "cry" for help but refuse to accept it when it doesn't jibe with what they want to hear or (b) try to rewrite the fact that what they do is morally and legally wrong. it's one thing to fall for someone you're not "supposed" to be with, and to struggle with it, but a whole 'nother thing to play off what you're doing as morally superior because you and the person you're having an affair with are "different." and it just upsets the hell outta me to think that women choose to get sucked into some guy's game just so he can get a piece of *ss whenever he wants, on his terms. Because she just doesn't win in a situation like that. just my two cents ...
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted May 15, 2007 Posted May 15, 2007 I agree to a point. We are all human (well, apparently lol) and we do make mistakes. I also agree with Quakanne that some posters think that constructive criticism is just plain criticism, and I also believe some on LS hide behind the ""I'm just telling it how it is" when really they're enjoying a bit of poster-bashing. Tell you what though, there's not one person on LS that has never made a mistake or done something that they're not proud of in some area of their life. So, when I read a particular snotty reply I always imagine the poster and the skeletons they have in their broom cupboard!
norajane Posted May 15, 2007 Posted May 15, 2007 People form relationships that may or may not work, whether they are married or not. And if you go to the other forums on Loveshack, you'll see that people are being told they are being too paranoid with their jealousy and need to step back or they come off as controlling freaks; that yes, they are being too clingy/insensitive/demanding/etc. with their partners and they need to change something or they'll lose their lover; that they need to immediately dump their bf who pays no attention to them instead of forgiving him time and again and inviting more neglect; that emailing and texting their ex 20 times a day is acting like a doormat wishing to be walked on again and again; that yes, he's a lousy ass for cheating on his gf and he should do her the courtesy of breaking up with her; that no, his friend-girl is never ever ever going to be interested in him romantically and if he hangs around her, he's just letting her use him as her back-up; that wanting his ex back after she cheated on him and emptied his bank account is due to a lack of self-esteem and backbone; and on and on. OW/OM are not the only ones who get opinions they might not want to hear and advice that isn't sugar-coated.
Trimmer Posted May 15, 2007 Posted May 15, 2007 Lots of interesting points. In the spirit of open discussion: If we lived in societies that belived very strongly in the sanctity of marriage, we would have not have divorce courts. So is your conclusion that we live in a society that does not believe in the sanctity of marriage? I disagree. If we lived in a society that didn't believe in the sancity of marriage, then we wouldn't have marriage, or at least the legal and religious barriers to ending it would be low or non-existent. If we were all perfect people, we would not mess up our own lives or those of others. Agreed, but the fact that we are imperfect does not absolve us of responsibility for the choices we make. Sometimes you fall in love with the least suitable person. ...and yet one should always be responsible for the choices one makes in response to those feelings. Sometimes you get hurt or you hurt someone and as long as it is not intentionally, it should be forgiven. As this is in the OW/OM forum, I'm going to assume you are talking about affairs here. I differentiate between the feelings one has, and the choices one makes. Feelings are unintentional. Affairs are not. We are all human and we cannot control much, especially not other people. But we do have a responsibility to those around us, our society - and for heaven sakes, to ourselves - to control our behavior, no? There is a big difference between saying "I can't control that which is outside of me" and "I can't control myself."
NoIDidn't Posted May 15, 2007 Posted May 15, 2007 Is it the rainy season? There sure are a lot of post filled with a bunch of whining, er, crying today.
GreenEyedLady Posted May 15, 2007 Posted May 15, 2007 BBE: I understand what you're getting at and what you hope to accomplish...but it will, of course, fall on deaf ears... This forum seems to be one that while there can be a cease-fire (so to speak) once in a while, there will most likely never be a truce...too many emotions and too many people with nothing to lose or everything to lose... Not really a recipe for peace...so I guess the best that we can hope for is to present a human element to it and if we can help support or encourage even just one person (no matter their initials) we will have acted in the spirit of the forum...
JustBecause Posted May 16, 2007 Posted May 16, 2007 You know, there are OTHER forums in which diversity of opinion is not allowed. If this forum is intolerable to you... there's no gun to your head keeping you here. And as such... not REQUIRED to be in the business of blanket forgiveness. You want forgiveness?... ask whatever deity you pray to. Being a catholic, I have been to confession & I am truely sorry for what I have done. So I believe that I have been forgiven.
greengoddess Posted May 16, 2007 Posted May 16, 2007 Being a catholic, I have been to confession & I am truely sorry for what I have done. So I believe that I have been forgiven. Didn't you just have an abortion?
JustBecause Posted May 16, 2007 Posted May 16, 2007 Didn't you just have an abortion? Yes unfortunately & I pray to the all loving & all forgiving God. If someone is truely sorry & repents in confession & promises never to repeat the sin - they shall be forgiven.
Kenzo Posted May 16, 2007 Posted May 16, 2007 Didn't you just have an abortion? This is just flat out mean and does nobody any good. JB- you did what was right for you, the only one you answer to is yourself.
Author bigblueeyes Posted May 16, 2007 Author Posted May 16, 2007 Didn't you just have an abortion? SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!! That is the lowest thing I have come across so far on this forum and that says a lot!!!!!!!
Touche Posted May 16, 2007 Posted May 16, 2007 Have to agree with the others here. It was totally irrelevant to ask JB whether she had an abortion. What was your point? Also, some excellent points have been raised here so I don't have much to add except that the title of this thread gave me pause. I'm sorry but I don't see how you're "getting real." Read some of the posts again...specifically LJ, NJ and Trimmer's. Read them and then re-read them. They are ones who are "getting real." When you choose to sleep with a married man, you ARE hurting others intentionally..including yourself. So how about "getting real" with YOURSELF?
greengoddess Posted May 16, 2007 Posted May 16, 2007 SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!! That is the lowest thing I have come across so far on this forum and that says a lot!!!!!!! and why is that low? I do not believe this posters posts. I believe this poster is on here to stir up trouble with another site since their main post that was VERY bizarre and out of the ordinary ended with quotes from another site. This poster has also mentioned this other site numerous times. I do not believe her story nor do i believe she had an abortion. I personally am not religious but I do believe abortion is against the catholic religion. If you had an abortion would you so readily talk about it and would you also so readily state you are catholic? She stated on a public forum that she was going to abort her lovers baby did she not? Her words. Why am I not allowed to mention it? She freely spoke about it very comfortably so why is it shame on me to ask if she did go through with it when she states she is catholic? Seems like a pretty upfront and obvious question that she has been more than willing to answer. Do you feel their is shame in having an abortion? If not then why shame on me? I am prochoice. She has a right to an abortion. I'm very confused why that is so low. Would you care to explain. Maybe it comes from the religious aspect and my not understanding the catholic religion.
Kenzo Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 If you don't believe the post is real then stop antagonizing and judging, and don't post on this thread. There is just no reason to be that mean.
Tomcat33 Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 If you don't believe the post is real then stop antagonizing and judging, and don't post on this thread. There is just no reason to be that mean. I agree Kenzo. She can't help it she is wired that way, to make stupid-ass comments. Best to ignore those. And speaking of calling the kettle back she thinks JB is here to start up trouble...?!?! just look at the posts by GG she has nothing relevant to contribute to threads other than low-blow jabs, just ingnore her she'll go away if you do LOL
TogetherForever Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 Where did all this harshness come from? And does someone think that this harshness will in fact help someone here?
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