alexa137 Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 is it ok to ask my bf of over a year that since he doesnt want to spend time with me doing things together besides sex and sleeping if my friend wanted to hook me up with her mans friend just to have something to do on the weekends since i always bored fri and sat nights? i would like some feedback from some men if possible--why is it when summer comes and you are in a realtionship they tend to disappear daily til late night? to make it simple he wont leave me alone no matter what i say(even if its mean) and i cant leave him alone mostly bcause i know how much he loves me since ive tried to get him to leave many times--not gonna go into the whole story--if you are interested in knowing what been going on i have posted on other forums but dont get any reponses! the cheating and coping and breaking up under this sign in
curiousnycgirl Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 Are you asking if it is ok to tell your b/f that you will be seeing other men because he does not entertain you? If so then my answer is no - that is not ok. If you b/f will only spend time with you to have sex and/or go to sleep - then you need to either end or fix the relationship Throwing up the concept of another man (theoretically to invoke jealousy) is childish and will not give you the results you are seeking. However if you were asking another question - sorry I missed it, your post was difficult to understand.
Lizzie60 Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 is it ok to ask my bf of over a year that since he doesnt want to spend time with me doing things together besides sex and sleeping if my friend wanted to hook me up with her mans friend just to have something to do on the weekends since i always bored fri and sat nights? i would like some feedback from some men if possible--why is it when summer comes and you are in a realtionship they tend to disappear daily til late night? to make it simple he wont leave me alone no matter what i say(even if its mean) and i cant leave him alone mostly bcause i know how much he loves me since ive tried to get him to leave many times--not gonna go into the whole story--if you are interested in knowing what been going on i have posted on other forums but dont get any reponses! the cheating and coping and breaking up under this sign in I don't know how old you are but you sound very young... I think you should leave him and move on. I doubt he's going to change now... so why don't you just leave him and be happy with your friends. You can't stay with him if you don't love him... you said you have tried to get him to leave you many times... WOW... just because HE loves you doesn't make it a contract for life for you my dear... Time to move on...trust me he will survive.
Author alexa137 Posted May 14, 2007 Author Posted May 14, 2007 yep thats what i was asking--i mean if i go out with my friend and her guy friend and his friend to a bar or restuaurant something like that--but not bring him here or go there--just platonic--believe me ive tried to end it by giving him ultimatums etc--long story-but i never get answers from him supposed be having talk today--so far not home yet! hmmm...anyways he says i treat him like his mother--thats a reason why he wants to move out get a place of his own--we have lived toeghter for almost a year--used to do things together but it seems like everytime i make him mad he disappears all day! he says he wants to do what he wants when he wants--that he shouldnt have to tell me what he doing all the time and doesnt like to be questioned
curiousnycgirl Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 Let him get his own place and let the relationship end. You need to grow up a bit (as does he)
Lizzie60 Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 yep thats what i was asking--i mean if i go out with my friend and her guy friend and his friend to a bar or restuaurant something like that--but not bring him here or go there--just platonic--believe me ive tried to end it by giving him ultimatums etc--long story-but i never get answers from him supposed be having talk today--so far not home yet! hmmm...anyways he says i treat him like his mother--thats a reason why he wants to move out get a place of his own--we have lived toeghter for almost a year--used to do things together but it seems like everytime i make him mad he disappears all day! he says he wants to do what he wants when he wants--that he shouldnt have to tell me what he doing all the time and doesnt like to be questioned You said you tried to get him to leave you... now you say HE wants to get his own place... ???? You are both very immature IMO... just move on each your separate ways... you're definitely not made for each other...
Author alexa137 Posted May 14, 2007 Author Posted May 14, 2007 well obviously you dont get the whole situation--you can read other post from other forums its a long story he wants his own place bcause i stress alot bcause i work 2 jobs and i am a single mother and struggling financially etc...so one day i cussed him out while i was working(at home job) and he didnt like it--so i started therapy again bcause i know its wrong have dotn it many times to my daughter also--wish i didnt have this job but cant afford to pay bills with 1 job anyways--i decided to change my work schedule to make everyone happy and now i am not happy bcause since i did that he hasnt spent time with me he cant forgive and forget easily no matter what so that why he wants his own place--but he is still here so i told him that if he cant be in this relationship like it used to be more than sex--then we need to break up and no contact--no answer or comments--its been 3 weeks and i know he hasnt looked for a place bcause i used to do his bills and he cant affford it on his own--he likes to spend money every fri when he gets paid thats beside the point--i was so cool with the situation of him moving out bcause i cant afford to live on my own either! he gives a little bit of money--so i told him jsut to be smart that i didnt think it would work out between us if we lived in diffrent places since i was so used to living with him since its been almost a year,...well that pissed him off too! i cant win! this is my first real relationship that a guy loves me and i love him and the first time ive lived with a guy--a lot of firsts! but i dont know whats gonna happened after today(supposed to talk) but he seems to think that everytime we talk its an arguement--its has to be my way-maybe i dont know--i just want him to decide what kind of relationship he wants with me bcause im not it it for just sex--i love him and he loves me and he has talked about marriage and baby and gave me 2 diamond rings already anyways thats a little bit of the story
Lizzie60 Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 well obviously you dont get the whole situation--you can read other post from other forums its a long story he wants his own place bcause i stress alot bcause i work 2 jobs and i am a single mother and struggling financially etc...so one day i cussed him out while i was working(at home job) and he didnt like it--so i started therapy again bcause i know its wrong have dotn it many times to my daughter also--wish i didnt have this job but cant afford to pay bills with 1 job anyways--i decided to change my work schedule to make everyone happy and now i am not happy bcause since i did that he hasnt spent time with me he cant forgive and forget easily no matter what so that why he wants his own place--but he is still here so i told him that if he cant be in this relationship like it used to be more than sex--then we need to break up and no contact--no answer or comments--its been 3 weeks and i know he hasnt looked for a place bcause i used to do his bills and he cant affford it on his own--he likes to spend money every fri when he gets paid thats beside the point--i was so cool with the situation of him moving out bcause i cant afford to live on my own either! he gives a little bit of money--so i told him jsut to be smart that i didnt think it would work out between us if we lived in diffrent places since i was so used to living with him since its been almost a year,...well that pissed him off too! i cant win! this is my first real relationship that a guy loves me and i love him and the first time ive lived with a guy--a lot of firsts! but i dont know whats gonna happened after today(supposed to talk) but he seems to think that everytime we talk its an arguement--its has to be my way-maybe i dont know--i just want him to decide what kind of relationship he wants with me bcause im not it it for just sex--i love him and he loves me and he has talked about marriage and baby and gave me 2 diamond rings already anyways thats a little bit of the story the whole story...I only replied from your post... Your situation seems very confused and complicated.. so all I can say is 'good luck'.
hardcase Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 is it ok to ask my bf of over a year that since he doesnt want to spend time with me doing things together besides sex and sleeping if my friend wanted to hook me up with her mans friend just to have something to do on the weekends since i always bored fri and sat nights? Yes it would be wrong. But then again...your bf isn't much of a bf if the only thing he wants to do with you is have sex. you should break up with him to date since there is no excuse for cheating.
Author alexa137 Posted May 14, 2007 Author Posted May 14, 2007 i didnt say i was gonna cheat! thats the last thing i would do! believe me i get sex from my bf everynight! and im not into getting diseases etc...anways just wanted someone to take me to dinner, movies etc....i get very lonely and depressed on the weekends and theres only so much mall you can take!
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 i...anways just wanted someone to take me to dinner, movies etc....i get very lonely and depressed on the weekends and theres only so much mall you can take! Do you have platonic friends that you can do this with, or are you more interested in the "date/romance" aspect of it?
hardcase Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 i didnt say i was gonna cheat! thats the last thing i would do! You dont have to have sex with someone else for it to be cheating...there is emotional cheating as well. You said you wanted to ask your bf if you could "hook up" with another guy....thats cheating. It just sounds like you need to break up with him...if all he wants is sex.
Author alexa137 Posted May 14, 2007 Author Posted May 14, 2007 no i never said anything about hooking up or cheating or sex--just dinner movies, etc...what i am not getting from my boyfriend! but maybe not gonna be my boyfriend for long bcause he came home from work and left without talking just said when i asked him if he wanted me to save him some dinner and if i need to buy him food for lunch for work-"well talk later"' i said all it takes is a simple yes or no answer--i got upset of course always thinking negative! we shall see how much later is!
IpAncA Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 You dont have to have sex with someone else for it to be cheating...there is emotional cheating as well. You said you wanted to ask your bf if you could "hook up" with another guy....thats cheating. It just sounds like you need to break up with him...if all he wants is sex. I agree with HC .
Enema Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 You expect these other men to buy you / take you to dinner and the movies and expect nothing to ever happen between you? It would only be ok if the guys you go out with know that you're in a relationship and you just want to go out, and you paid for half, and your boyfriend was ok with it. What a mess.
Trialbyfire Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 If the residence is owned by you or your name is on the lease only, you can give him notice like he's the tenant and have him forcibly removed if he doesn't abide by the required date (period may differ per state/province/country). As for getting men to pony up to entertain you, this is just...wrong... You can date multiple men if they're all in agreement but make sure you pay your own way. Using other people is not an attractive trait.
hardcase Posted May 15, 2007 Posted May 15, 2007 no i never said anything about hooking up Yes you did...you said your friend was going to "hook" you up with a male friend of hers. Now why would she hook you up with a male friend? If you want to go to dinner or movies.....go with one of your girlfriends....why do you have to be hooked up with a guy. Face it...you want to date other guys and that is emotional cheating. But that is really a moot point isn't it? Your bf isn't much of a bf. He only wants sex from you and doesn't want to do the dating activities....so I say dump him so you can find someone that wants to do other things with you rather than use you as a warm place to put it.
Shizz Posted May 18, 2007 Posted May 18, 2007 No offense, but in my limited experience. And it is limited. I would'nt date this guy for long. If you feel lonely and bored now, imagine what will happen if you do marry him etc. Sex is great, security is great, but if there is no social intimacy in a relationship then its pretty much nothing more than a relationship for the sake of relationship. Trust me, I've had numerous friends who had relationships like this, and they always end badly. As did my one brothers marriage. You have every right to seek your own happiness, obviously while its convenient to have this guy around, it isn't making you truly satisfied or happy otherwise you wouldn't be craving outside social interaction. You honestly deserve better than a hello, I'm home, I'm hungry, I'm horny, I'm satisfied, I'm tired, goodbye. Thats just my 2 cents.
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