starbuck59 Posted May 13, 2007 Posted May 13, 2007 Hi, I'm new here but I've been reading a lot over the past year. I have also been involved with a MM. Recently he went back to his wife after having been separated for a few months and living with me. He insists he loves me and I am perfect but hates leaving his kids. He told me he is messed up and doesn't want me waiting around for him to straighten his life out. He has initiated no contact, which we've been through countless times over the 2.5 years this has been going on. I am starting to think he is not the right person for me at all. Part of me is angry, part of me still feels the same way about him. He really was my best friend although I am sure many would say that a best friend wouldn't treat me this way. I guess part of me is relieved. My question to you all is, when there has been no contact initiated by the MM, have the come crawling back to you? If so, how did you feel by then and what made them come crawling back? Thanks, starbuck59
scaredinlove Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 Hi, I'm new here but I've been reading a lot over the past year. I have also been involved with a MM. Recently he went back to his wife after having been separated for a few months and living with me. He insists he loves me and I am perfect but hates leaving his kids. He told me he is messed up and doesn't want me waiting around for him to straighten his life out. He has initiated no contact, which we've been through countless times over the 2.5 years this has been going on. I am starting to think he is not the right person for me at all. Part of me is angry, part of me still feels the same way about him. He really was my best friend although I am sure many would say that a best friend wouldn't treat me this way. I guess part of me is relieved. My question to you all is, when there has been no contact initiated by the MM, have the come crawling back to you? If so, how did you feel by then and what made them come crawling back? Thanks, starbuck59 Chances are he will come crawling back to you. They usually do!
GreenEyedLady Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 My question to you all is, when there has been no contact initiated by the MM, have the come crawling back to you? If so, how did you feel by then and what made them come crawling back? First, I'm sorry for all that has happened to you... I think that you should not count on him crawling back... And if he does, don't take his phone calls, texts, emails... You need to make him feel the pain of his decision and show him he can't go back and forth between you two when he feels like it... Your not a revolving door and he shouldn't treat you like one...You need to put on a tough front no matter how hard it is... Good Luck!
empty906 Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 GEL is right, stand strong and firm this time. He has taken some mighty big steps and needs to make a commitment to one of you. However, should he choose to commit to you (or make you think that is his plan) make him prove himself. If he is serious about you he will wait for you. That break from him will give you the weeks you need to clear your head, sort your thoughts/priorities, and make a decision about him one way or another. YOU need the extended break this time. Make him wait...
Jinxx Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 My question to you all is, when there has been no contact initiated by the MM, have the come crawling back to you? If so, how did you feel by then and what made them come crawling back? Well in my case, NC was done by both of us although nothing was formally said or discussed. But "no", he has not come crawling back to me and I don't think he will. It has been almost four months. But since we work at the same place there is always that chance we'll see each other like we did a week ago. When that happens, he gives me a hug and we talk as if we were old friends. The difficult thing for me is that our kids are friends and hang out together so it is an odd scenario for both us.
Seen_It_All Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 I am starting to think he is not the right person for me at all.LOL what was your first clue?? The fact that he's a lying swine who doesn't even have a sack and keeps running between you and mommy/wife? What a friggen sissy. ...have the come crawling back to you? If so, how did you feel by then and what made them come crawling back?These little sissies always come crawling back - they don't have the gonads to act like real men. But a woman with ANY pride at all will realize what a dead end these losers really ARE. A woman with pride and character will send a little two-timing sissy boy like this packing when she FINALLY realizes that she really DOESN'T have to settle for the bottom of the barrel.
Author starbuck59 Posted May 14, 2007 Author Posted May 14, 2007 Thanks for all of your comments and suggestions. You have some varied opinions but it's all been helpful. I recently got an email from his wife telling me how pathetic I am. How she got the email I do not know. When he went back I said told him that was fine but that I wasn't going to sit around anymore. I feel horrible though because I am depicted as this heartless, home wrecker. I don't think anyone sets out to do any such thing. I am sure everyone's heard the same line, that the wife is horrible. Well, this one definitely is...verbal abuser, etc. I wouldn't exactly believe it if I hadn't heard from other people how bad she was. You're right though, if he doesn't have the courage to fix his life I can't help him and can't wait around for it to happen. It is very hard though. I've read a lot on this forum and it has helped a great deal. Thanks for taking the time to reply and give me your thoughts. starbuck59
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