Guest Posted May 13, 2007 Posted May 13, 2007 I am dating a 40 year old woman (LDR relationship) who i met after her last relationship ended terribly. we have been friends for a while and we hooked up about 4 months after her breakup, and have ben seeing each other for about 4 months. her X left her and drove home after an argument they had on a boat, essentially stranding her on a weekend over 200 miles from home without a ride. of course she was livid, vowing to never see him, he was done and over, yada yada/. Her X lives near her, while I am about 150 miles away and travel a lot. Now the X wants back in, and has been contacting her. several weeks ago she was in a bind with travels, etc, and needed a ride to the airport and called him when i was unavailable. So she called the guy who royally screwed her over, and of course he helps her, and then wants to go to dinner. she obliges and tells me because of course she feels guilty now and "owes" him for the favor. the dinner doesnt go well, and they argue and she is pissed. she tells me all this--they are done. now she had a small operation and i go up there to help, and of course, miraculously, the X knows the exact date of the operation and calls to check on her--she holds a 10 minute conversation, leaving it open ended and encouraging him to sell her harley if he comes across anyone wanting one.... while i am there trying to "help" her, taking off from my job and traveling to see her, etc. So i am thinking this is pretty disrespectful toward me, esp. after she says she is done with him. what i dont get, is that if that was me who was left on the dock like that, the only contact i would want with that SOB was his funeral date, so that i could go urinate on his grave. other than that, he would vaporize as far as i was concerned. i couldnt bust her chops over this, since she was recovering and may be facing a long rode if the pathology comes back bad. so my delimma---she claims this is about forgiveness and she has to be civil and polite when he calls......I think its BS and there are some people you dont have to be polite to, and a polite update isnt an open ended conversation lasting 10 minutes while i am there. I really dont feel threatened by this guy--its just a disrespect deal for me. all she had to say was she was very tired and coldnt talk...... i am losing trust in her, and think i will dump her when she gets onthe mend. do yu guys think i am just too unforgiving, or is she correct and you have to jeopardize your current relationship by being cordial with the old ones? what does a guy have to do for the avg woman to be really pissed at him and have zero contact? i have a suspicion i am being snowed. thanks.
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