GregsBad Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 Wrong again. I am considering stopping the relationship NOW only because of the fact that the FUTURE may have nothing to offer is. Is that so hard to understand. If someone does not want a relationship NOW or LATER then what is the point of dating???? OK, now I get that you're not pushing her for a relationship. All joking aside ... But I can see that you really like her and everything she says indicates to me that she likes you. The point of dating is get to "find out" - LATER - if the two of you are right for a relationship with each other. I know she says she's not interested in a relationship. MY way would be to ignore that. But if that's a deal breaker for you then stop with her. I'm thinking that if she gets close to you - there is a good chance she'll be changing her mind. YOU might change YOUR mind too. My advice: You like her, she likes you. Enjoy this! Sometimes girls say things that need to be ignored. And I think her saying she doesn't want a relationship should be ignored. Peace Pipe: Is this all because you're afraid of being hurt? If so, you have to take risks - no guarantees - agreeing to a reationship is never a guarantee either. I'd sooner trust a girl who starts off like her, than trust a girl who says OK to relationship talk so early. I get the feeling that she's doing what I do. I tell girls I'm not looking for a relationship, even though I really am.
sweetbutcheeky Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 Wrong again. I am considering stopping the relationship NOW only because of the fact that the FUTURE may have nothing to offer is. Is that so hard to understand. If someone does not want a relationship NOW or LATER then what is the point of dating???? I understood completely
GregsBad Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 FYI - The NC only lasted a day. I knew it! She wants you ... she does
sweetbutcheeky Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 I have been investing a lot of time in this girl and it would be nice to know that she had a clearer understanding of what she wants. I am not expecting her to know if she wants a relationship with me now. I don;t know if I want one with her for sure either, but I know I like her and will leave it open - ended. I suppose it's too much to ask of her to do the same. I am just confused as she is giving me mixed signals. One day its okay to kiss, the next it's not. She wants to be "friends" right now but then she tells me how she declines other guys because she likes me. Bottom line - I don't want to miss out on a good thing but i don't want to be played like a fiddle either. HELP Have you been talking and seeing each other since you posted you mentioned you hadn't contacted her? She sounds confused about what she wants which explains the mixed signals. Sounds like she lets herself like you and being together but then starts thinking about it too much, gets scared off and pushes you away. (most likely because of past baggage or the guy she cheated on, only she really knows) Since only she really knows and as you said you don't want to miss out on a good thing then you need to talk to her about it. Tell her how you are confused by her mixed signals, explain to her what you said above.
GregsBad Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 i don't want to be played like a fiddle ... Maybe she just wants to smoke the Peace Pipe
sweetbutcheeky Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 Maybe she just wants to smoke the Peace Pipe OMG now I know why your name is GregsBad! Cause that was a bad joke!
crazy_grl Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 PP, why are you still wondering what to do. This girl is flakey and a known cheater. You had it right at the beginning of this thread: stop seeing her. As a man, if you "weeded" out every girl that ever cheated, there would not be many left to chose from. Ok, so you don't want to weed out every girl that's cheated. That's ok. People do change. But you should consider weeding out the ones who have cheated on their last bf only 3 months ago. That's not enough time to change. You don't want to get hurt, but you're setting yourself up here. Stop ignoring the red flags because you want to bang her.
Mustang Sally Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 Stop ignoring the red flags because you want to bang her. Or just BANG her, get it over with (and put me out of my misery, I can feel the freaking sex-tension between you two all the way over HERE) and then move on....or not. You never know.
Author peace_pipe Posted May 24, 2007 Author Posted May 24, 2007 Maybe she just wants to smoke the Peace Pipe She loves the pipe.
GregsBad Posted May 24, 2007 Posted May 24, 2007 She loves the pipe. Now you're talking! You're the MAN! Now this next question is important: Has she given it a nick-name yet?
stillafool Posted May 24, 2007 Posted May 24, 2007 I think she is a player and knows it. The summer hasn't even started yet and she knows she will probably meet a lot of guys as it progresses. She knows she is capable of cheating on someone (as her past has shown) and she doesn't want to be put in a situation where she is expected to be monogomous. If I were you I would just have fun with her and move on to someone else if you want a one on one relationship.
Author peace_pipe Posted May 24, 2007 Author Posted May 24, 2007 So, let me give you guys a little more background. First off, the no contact ended after 2 days. Also, she is only 20, and she is my neighbor. The next time her and I hung out, we had a long talk about what each other wants / expects. I was quite surprised and impressed that she chose to face the issue instead of just running away from it. Anyway, it seems that her and I have two definitions of dating. Her definition of dating is being "exclusive" with one partner - which does not make sense to me cause that is a relationship. So now I understand why she was so stand-offish when I mentioned we were "dating". I explained to her that to me, dating is simply and man and a woman who are arrtracted to one another that allow time to get to know one another. So we mutually agreed that this was fine with both of us. Well, we got that part worked out and I feel a lot better about everything. But now the physical part has diminished some. We talked about that and she claims that she wants to, but if she does it will lead to her developing stronger feelings. I am still not sure exactly how to proceed. The path I chose at the moment is to just chill and be her friend. If we become intimate again, so be it, Whatever happens, happens. After all, I am not sure if I do want a relationship with this girl. I thhink with me there will come a time where I bounce if I am not getting sex anymore. How long is a reasonable time to chill and wait? One of my good friends claims that she has some sort of "sexual issue" or "relationship" issue from the past that is holding her back. Now I am not sure, but I am wondering if any women can relate to such an experience and possibly give me some insight. So, she does not want a relationship, but she calls everyday and we get together almost everyday. She also does not want to be physical again at this point. Can someone explain what is going through her mind? I plan to approach this in two ways: 1) I will continue to hang out, be her friend and see if something develops. How long is too long though? 2) If I begin to sense it is not going anywhere, hopefully we can at least be physical "friends". What do you guys think??? I am all chill about it but I have these thoughts.
Author peace_pipe Posted May 24, 2007 Author Posted May 24, 2007 Hew, people! Usually I get people trying to chew me a new a** but no one responded... yet!!! I know she will be over tonight, and we always hug when she leaves. Tonight I am going to plant one on her when she leaves. What do you guys think her reaction will be? The way I see it, if she gets upset then I have my answer. I hope she does not get upset, but if she does and does not keep coming around, then that is the way it was meant to be.
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