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Posted

I've been broken up with my ex of 3 years for roughly 3 months. She still talks to me sometimes about her problems and her new boyfriend. We had NC for a while but she said she still wants to be friends. This is my first breakup and I'm at a loss as to whats going on and what to do.

Posted

Without knowing very much about your ex, it's hard to say. My hunch is she just wants to be friends. If so, are you okay with that? Personally I wouldn't like it, because if the relationship with the other guy goes sour, and she came back to you, wouldn't you wonder what was going on inside her head? But that's just me, I hate mind games with a passion.

 

On the other hand, she may be like a lot of other females I have known, and she may be trying to make you jealous with the new guy. Why? Who knows. It's something women do sometimes.

 

In my opinion, this girl sounds like a game player, and I wouldn't give her an opportunity to mess with your head anymore than she already has. Just because you have feelings for her doesn't mean you have to let her play with your emotions.

Posted
I've been broken up with my ex of 3 years for roughly 3 months. She still talks to me sometimes about her problems and her new boyfriend. We had NC for a while but she said she still wants to be friends. This is my first breakup and I'm at a loss as to whats going on and what to do.

 

She has put you SQUARELY in the Friends Zone.

Basically having her cake, and eating it too.

New bf for romance, and you for companionship and a kind ear.

 

Is this what you want? I imagine not, or else you wouldnt be posting here.

 

You need to go NC - straight away, until your feelings for her have faded and you can be a TRUE friend in every sense of the word. I don't think you can do that right now, so take this time to heal.

 

K.:bunny:

Posted

You must go back to NC! Can you really go on listening to her problems about other men when you may still care for or love her? I know I couldn't and take it from me, I pretty much spilled my guts to my girl and basically just labeled myself a doormat.

 

In order for you to go on you can't be in contact with her. It will tear you apart on the inside and make you miserable.

 

I know this because I recently broke NC and I went flying back to square one.

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Posted

Luckily college is over for the summer and I highly doubt she'll be online very much let alone call. So I think I'm safe as far as NC is concerned. I'm hoping my feelings change over the summer because I know there is more out there for me. I'm just not ready yet :(. Thanks for all the advice thus far.

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