I Met A Girl!!

[Touche]

Nope, you're right. He should forget the whole thing.

 

Never mind, Johan...just sit home and pet your pussies.

[johan]

Ok, I know where you're coming from, Touche. But I think your cranberry juice is a little strong.

 

I'm not going to mess around with someone else's relationship. She knows how to find me. Unless she's mind-deadeningly naive, she knows I'm interested.

 

I've been mostly professional with her. I haven't gone out of my way to talk to her, except when circumstances allow it. I've expressed my interest twice. She has avoided it twice. And she's kept at least one really important fact to herself for some reason. I could call her or email her this weekend and intrude on her personal life, but I think that would just call her out and make her say what she has been trying not to say. For whatever reason.

 

I'll say two things. Actually three.

 

1) Today I had already decided she wasn't interested. So all I did when i saw her was smile and say hi. But she was VERY friendly and stopped me so I would come talk to her.

2) I know she at least thinks I'm cute, and she likes me. She's more friendly to me than the other guys she talks to.

3) I'm sure I've analyzed this far more than it really needs to be analyzed.

4) I like to see everyone's point of view on it.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

I'll say two things. Actually three.

 

1) Today I had already decided she wasn't interested. So all I did when i saw her was smile and say hi. But she was VERY friendly and stopped me so I would come talk to her.

2) I know she at least thinks I'm cute, and she likes me. She's more friendly to me than the other guys she talks to.

3) I'm sure I've analyzed this far more than it really needs to be analyzed.

4) I like to see everyone's point of view on it.

 

That makes FOUR points. Over the limit, but I'll allow it.

 

That aside, I've already posted my point of view. To me, all possibilities and explanations lead to either one or the other of the reasons I gave.

 

But I'm just sitting here on my butt spewing wise ideas. The reality is for you to face, to understand, and to act upon (or not). The one "bright ray of hope" I see is the fact that you are really interested in her, and she seems to like you more than the other guys. The grey area is what she really is like, and what she really thinks.

That's for you to find out. I'm sure you'll use your rational side and utilize your judgement.

[Art_Critic]

Johan,

You do realize that if you start to date her that you will only be allowed to post in the "The Other Man / Woman" on LS ?

 

She isn't worth your energy if she has a boyfriend..

 

Think about who she had sex with the night before the next time you are talking to her and that should cure you..

[green-eyed beauty]

I agree that you should not pursue her since she obviously has a BF. She might have talked about plans w/bf w/the project manager knowing it would get back to you.

Plus, people, when she wrote back she didn't mention anything about getting together for the weekend and that was supposed to be the purpose of her writing back.

Let's not encourage a guy to pursue a women who is in a relationship. Or you're not allowed to post giving advice to people whose bf is asking other women out.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

There are two things about this whole episode that intrigue me.

 

One: How, and why, did you assume the girl was single and available, before even knowing a couple of things about her? The chances that a beautiful, smart, interesting girl like her is single are not too high. Unless she went through a recent breakup or something (but I wouldn't think you'd begin on that premise).

 

So what was it? I'm sorry, maybe it's just me. But I think you built up the picture of the "ideal" girl too soon, before you even knew the basics about her. Perhaps you should ask yourself a few questions, and be honest about your perception of her v/s the reality.

 

Second: Why did she not mention the boyfriend, if she apparently knows you're interested in her? Is she trying to flatter herself, is she looking for a new relationship, or is she just being extraordinarily friendly?

 

She is definitely one of the three possibilities mentioned above. So, what's your plan, in each case?

 

 

Those are all the thoughts and opinions I have, for now.

[Pink Amulet]

TTSP- Men always assume their ideal woman is obviously put on the planet solely for them and therefore immediately assume she is single and ready for the taking

 

They always seem quite shocked when you tell them otherwise

[johan]

There are two things about this whole episode that intrigue me.

 

One: How, and why, did you assume the girl was single and available, before even knowing a couple of things about her? The chances that a beautiful, smart, interesting girl like her is single are not too high. Unless she went through a recent breakup or something (but I wouldn't think you'd begin on that premise).

 

I didn't assume anything. In guy/girl land, it's the guy's job to actually make the move. It's the girl's job to inform the guy of her status/disinterest. And she had no rings.

 

So what was it? I'm sorry, maybe it's just me. But I think you built up the picture of the "ideal" girl too soon, before you even knew the basics about her. Perhaps you should ask yourself a few questions, and be honest about your perception of her v/s the reality.

 

I was realistic about her. I was just friendly and open to her. That's how you prompt the signals to proceed or to stop.

 

Second: Why did she not mention the boyfriend, if she apparently knows you're interested in her? Is she trying to flatter herself, is she looking for a new relationship, or is she just being extraordinarily friendly?

 

She is definitely one of the three possibilities mentioned above. So, what's your plan, in each case?

 

The plan is the same. I'll be myself. I'll be friendly to her. I'll invite her to do things when it seems like the right thing to do. I won't worry about it otherwise. I don't know her well enough to be making any judgments regarding how ideal she is. I do appreciate the fact, however, that she hasn't gone forward on anything with me, given the fact that she has someone. If I was in his shoes, I'd want that.

 

 

 

TTSP- Men always assume their ideal woman is obviously put on the planet solely for them and therefore immediately assume she is single and ready for the taking

 

They always seem quite shocked when you tell them otherwise

 

I know you and TTSP are single. I don't have to assume anything. I also know that Touche is married. So your theory doesn't hold water.

 

And besides, just trying to find out doesn't mean you're assuming anything. It's hard to tell if a woman is taken just by looking at her, unless she's wearing rings.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

Okay, I see.

 

You've done well to view all of this from different angles.

 

I'm sure you'll handle this well.

 

You'll get a lot of different opinions and advice, and that helps too.

 

Often, after people have given all sorts of advice, you focus on that which is applicable, and it reaffirms what you already knew to be true.

[peace_pipe]

The chances that a beautiful, smart, interesting girl like her is single are not too high.

 

Truer words have never been spoken. But do you know why?

 

Because a high percentage of girls like this are attention HOGS and usually have some sap lined up to take your place.

 

Right now, you are the sap.

[Pink Amulet]

I would hardly call him a sap PP.

[Art_Critic]

I would hardly call him a sap PP.

 

Nah.. he is more like a pee pee

[pelagicsands]

Such promising news, tinged with pangs of idiocy. Well, who knows who's eating who. There are three sides to every story.

 

Sounds like she wants a piece of the Johan, though. The question is... which piece? And for how long will she treasure, honour, and obey it??

 

Anyway, dude - good luck. I hope you can get a romance into full swing. After all, a Porsche has too good a passenger seat to waste.

 

It would certainly make me smile. And it would seem like justice is being served. You have quite the LS following. I'm even curious about your testicles. (If you can't be bothered with the self-exam thing, please let me know.)

 

Go, you good thing!

LS is the right place to work out every problem.

Couldn't agree more.

[green-eyed beauty]

There are two things about this whole episode that intrigue me.

 

One: How, and why, did you assume the girl was single and available, before even knowing a couple of things about her? The chances that a beautiful, smart, interesting girl like her is single are not too high. Unless she went through a recent breakup or something (but I wouldn't think you'd begin on that premise).

 

So what was it? I'm sorry, maybe it's just me. But I think you built up the picture of the "ideal" girl too soon, before you even knew the basics about her. Perhaps you should ask yourself a few questions, and be honest about your perception of her v/s the reality.

 

Second: Why did she not mention the boyfriend, if she apparently knows you're interested in her? Is she trying to flatter herself, is she looking for a new relationship, or is she just being extraordinarily friendly?

 

She is definitely one of the three possibilities mentioned above. So, what's your plan, in each case?

 

 

Those are all the thoughts and opinions I have, for now.

 

That is way too analysis on something like this. I see it as Johan made it known he wanted to get together on a personal, non-business level. She said she would email him about this, but instead sent him a businesslike email and mentioned nothing about plans.

She has a boyfriend, and made it known to one of his coworkers.

She is taken, she is not interested, she was simply uncomfortable telling him and didn't want to reject him.

[ilmw]

Hmmm..

 

Johan... you could do this: She knows you are interested... keep this up.. without persuing.. Be friendly... but don't be "a friend"... move on.. with a found memory...

 

You never know... she may some day soon.. be single again.. and the memory of you.. the cool guy who showed interest.. is now an option.. If you are single too... bada boom bada bing... you may get that romance you are seeking with this lady...

 

The thing is "yah never know".......

 

Just play it cool... and live your life.. be someone she would want to be with..

 

Hope I did not repeat anyone else... have done that enough.. on LS..

 

Because we are all so smrte.....

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

That is way too analysis on something like this. I see it as Johan made it known he wanted to get together on a personal, non-business level. She said she would email him about this, but instead sent him a businesslike email and mentioned nothing about plans.

She has a boyfriend, and made it known to one of his coworkers.

She is taken, she is not interested, she was simply uncomfortable telling him and didn't want to reject him.

 

Maybe so, Green-Eyed Beauty. But a different perspecive and analysis is what this thread is about. That's what it seemed like to me, at least.

 

I really don't mean this to sound like a rebuttal, but most of what you've said is merely a re-statement of the facts. We all know those, already.

[pelagicsands]

But a different perspecive and analysis is what this thread is about.

Very, very true. It's also true that the letter "t" can appear (->) within (<-) words (neither the first, nor the last, letter). You ought to give it a try.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

Very, very true. It's also true that the letter "t" can appear (->) within (<-) words (neither the first, nor the last, letter). You ought to give it a try.

 

Doggone it, Pinky.

 

This happens when my mind works faster than my fingers (which is most of the time).

[pelagicsands]

This happens when my mind works faster than my fingers (which is most of the time).

Sorry... I must have been a bit testy when I wrote that. So it would be more useful to be able to read your mind, than to watch you going crazy with your fingers??

 

Both sound pretty exciting.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

Sorry... I must have been a bit testy when I wrote that. So it would be more useful to be able to read your mind, than to watch you going crazy with your fingers??

 

Both sound pretty exciting.

 

I think you're PMSing, Pinky. Yeah, that's it.

 

I'd rather you read my mind... If you can, that is.

[pelagicsands]

I'd rather you read my mind... If you can, that is.

I have a feeling it would come too quickly. And you would get bored (this much is true) with my ineptitude.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

I have a feeling it would come too quickly. And you would get bored (this much is true) with my ineptitude.

 

 

You're a rogue, Pinky, and you know it.

 

Stop right there, before this gets more embarrassing. And to keep the thread on topic.

[green-eyed beauty]

Maybe so, Green-Eyed Beauty. But a different perspecive and analysis is what this thread is about. That's what it seemed like to me, at least.

 

I really don't mean this to sound like a rebuttal, but most of what you've said is merely a re-statement of the facts. We all know those, already.

 

Everything you've said is a lot of extraneous words to restate what everyone else did. You really didn't have a "different perspective" at all, just a more wordy restatement of others. I was simply making it clear that she was expressing that she wasn't interested, so you kept going on and on and on about it, when, really....what is there left to say at that point, hon? I notice you do that a lot, go on and on and on. And this time it was AFTER the fact it was clear that she had a boyfriend and wasn't taking him up on the date offer.

 

The point of my post totally escaped you, anyway. The point was if you have to think about it that much, it probably isn't happening. Hope it's clear now, hon.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

Everything you've said is a lot of extraneous words to restate what everyone else did. You really didn't have a "different perspective" at all, just a more wordy restatement of others. I was simply making it clear that she was expressing that she wasn't interested, so you kept going on and on and on about it, when, really....what is there left to say at that point, hon? I notice you do that a lot, go on and on and on. And this time it was AFTER the fact it was clear that she had a boyfriend and wasn't taking him up on the date offer.

 

The point of my post totally escaped you, anyway. The point was if you have to think about it that much, it probably isn't happening. Hope it's clear now, hon.

 

Yippee, my first real argument on LS! This is juicy stuff!

 

GEB, people of LS are free to post their thoughts, wordy as they might be. If I go "on and on and on", and it hurts your eyes, you're welcome to skip my posts. Do us both a favor that way.

 

When you join an online forum, the onus is on you to gain acceptance among the existing crowd, and not start off by ruffling feathers. You've done that in a couple of threads, I noticed. Again, because you're entitled to your views, I won't say you SHOULD or SHOULDN'T. It's just a question of forum-etiquette.

 

I rest my case. Back to the real topic, please.

[2sunny]

just my 2 cents:

 

she is probably interested - but she is taken - therefore she is flattered but torn and wants to do the right thing.

 

sit tight for a bit - and if she truly is interested - she will leave the other guy and e-mail you for a get together. she knows you are interested - so just wait it out.