I Met A Girl!!

[Touche]

Oh and one more thing. Who the hell says this?"

 

"Or she would say "why not coffee in the morning at your place?""

 

Was that supposed to be a joke? Because I don't know of any woman (correct me if I'm wrong ladies) who would suggest that.

[Teddy and Jane]

Please leave the poor woman alone, no offense, but you are too focused on how easily her panties will come off. You are too focused on the sexual aspect of dating rather than getting to know someone. If you want to get laid, go to a local meat market bar, this woman sounds too genuine for you. In addition, you are comparing potential dates to your ex...ask her out, she's the one you're hung up on. Sounds like she's a true busy career woman, it might actually take some effort to date her.

[Touche]

Why not? Do you want to have that problem, whatever it is, for the rest of your life? J, don't let your fears rule your life. Trust me on that one!!

 

If you feel like sharing, can you expand on what you mean?

 

In my opinion, as I've said, deep down he really doesn't feel that he's deserving of a woman to love him. He's taken care of the outer superficial stuff..nice house, good job, cars, etc. etc. But none of that amounts to a hill of beans in the end. He's not happy with himself. He feels inadequate and undeserving of a woman.

 

When he finally changes that "inner dialogue" and realizes that he doesn't have to be PERFECT to have a good woman love him as he is, then and only then, will he be open to finding the right one. Right now though, as I've also said before, he's his own worst enemy. He gets in the way of himself.

[Storyrider]

Too much analysis...you know the rest.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

Too much analysis...you know the rest.

 

Yeah. He's the women's punching bag for the day. Let's give it a rest, all. Johan was just venting, it was just his immediate reaction after what happened.

 

Hopefully the hot-babe-who-looks-like-his-ex will actually email him and they would indeed end up going on a nice date

[Touche]

Speaking for myself, I wasn't using him as a punching bag (not that I wouldn't like to:laugh: ) I was trying to help. But I know I'm not really helping. Probably just annoying him.

 

I'm not posting on this thread anymore.

[Storyrider]

What I actually meant was that johan is very good at introspection, so much so that he talks himself out of things. Maybe better to let himself make mistakes and err in that direction. Leap before looking for a change and see where that gets him.

 

I do this overthinking stuff too, so I know how it is.

[johan]

You're not annoying me. You've all said a lot of things that are good to hear/read. Some of it very insightful. Lonelybird's post confused me a little bit. TeddyAndJane's was off the mark.

[whichwayisup]

Please leave the poor woman alone, no offense, but you are too focused on how easily her panties will come off. You are too focused on the sexual aspect of dating rather than getting to know someone. If you want to get laid, go to a local meat market bar, this woman sounds too genuine for you. In addition, you are comparing potential dates to your ex...ask her out, she's the one you're hung up on. Sounds like she's a true busy career woman, it might actually take some effort to date her.

Johan, I know. This post reply makes no sense whatsoever. I don't think she was reading the same thread as the rest of us.

[Trialbyfire]

It might be worthwhile if Johan explains his reasoning for posting this thread. Perhaps he was simply looking for a place to vent his frustration instead of looking for advice, therefore felt defensive when advice was given.

 

The only person that can know that is Johan, because I'm certainly confused over this thread. I thought there was an actual opportunity for Johan but who knows why she slowed him down. We don't even know if she's aware that he's single.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

What I actually meant was that johan is very good at introspection, so much so that he talks himself out of things. Maybe better to let himself make mistakes and err in that direction. Leap before looking for a change and see where that gets him.

 

I do this overthinking stuff too, so I know how it is.

 

That, too. It's a trial-and-error thing, and this is how dating goes.

 

On the upside, there is no dearth of candidates out there. I'd think the statistical outcome of this game is better than the chances winning the Lotto.

 

Or maybe not. It depends on how much he'll follow up.

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

It might be worthwhile if Johan explains his reasoning for posting this thread. Perhaps he was simply looking for a place to vent his frustration instead of looking for advice, therefore felt defensive when advice was given.

 

The only person that can know that is Johan, because I'm certainly confused over this thread. I thought there was an actual opportunity for Johan but who knows why she slowed him down. We don't even know if she's aware that he's single.

 

TBF, would you mind if I said "Ditto"?

 

 

[Art_Critic]

I don't think at this point a blow off is the right opinion to have here Johan..

 

You really never know what she has going on in her life.. maybe she is moving or really busy.. maybe she is in the process of getting rid of an old ex..

Heck.. maybe she has plans already and didn't want to make it look like she dates around..

 

Who knows..

 

Give it a week and get back in contact with her and then you will know for sure..

If then she pushes you off then she is blowing you off and was trying to do it the nice way..

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

Okay peeps, I'm bowing out of here.

 

Good luck with the girl, Johan. Remember: there's always more where it came from There ARE plenty of fish in the sea, but you might have to let go of the hydrophobia and dive in.

 

Don't worry - the babes get better and better as you fish more...LOL.

[Storyrider]

I don't think at this point a blow off is the right opinion to have here Johan..

 

Art, this reminds me that we all tend to interpret things personally when sometimes that is not where the other individual is coming from at all. This might be the theme of the week, in fact (see b4r's thread).

 

Maybe she is on her period, or moving, or her psychotic brother is visiting, or she has to have her dog groomed or her cat declawed. Who knows? Probably best not to second guess it.

[Teddy and Jane]

Johan, I know. This post reply makes no sense whatsoever. I don't think she was reading the same thread as the rest of us.

 

Because of the references of comparing him to his ex and the sexual references also. In addition, he backed off right away when he wasn't given the instant gratification of her jumping all over it to see him next week. She's a career woman, sounds like she's having a busy week next week, so she suggested the next week.

[Trialbyfire]

TBF, would you mind if I said "Ditto"?

 

 

Not at all TTSP.

[pricillia]

You guys obviously know nothing about women. A woman who is interested isn't going to say "sure let's get together for coffee or lunch or something... how is a week and a half from now?" She would say "ok, maybe Monday?" Or she would say "why not coffee in the morning at your place?"

 

I think she's an account manager whose job it is to be friendly with clients. She'll insist on paying, and then the only remaining evidence of the happiest hour of my entire life will be an expense form submitted to her manager right after she returns to the office and calls her true love to remind him she's panty-free just like he likes.

 

Maybe in this case she is all business but a realtionship is not built only over drinks as in the "spirit" kind... (boose)

 

The good thing Johan is that she did agree to meet with you, it may not be tomorrow but it is something to look foward to.

 

Plus some women like to play it safe... hey she laughed at all your jokes, e-mailed you back and agreed to a meeting.

 

Stop thinking negative thoughts...

[lonelybird]

You're not annoying me. You've all said a lot of things that are good to hear/read. Some of it very insightful. Lonelybird's post confused me a little bit. TeddyAndJane's was off the mark.

I mean it. only those who grow out of drama opera can see that:p

 

so please go ahead do whatever are necessary to do to get the girl

[pricillia]

johan, you are a wonderful man:love:

 

 

Yes but does he believe in God? and if not is he still wonderfull?

[burning 4 revenge]

Yes but does he believe in God? and if not is he still wonderfull?

Why do you guys pick on her beliefs so much? She has her reasons for believing what she does and you should respect that.

 

Believe me, atheists can be as close-minded and biggoted as the most zealous fundamentalist christians.

[pricillia]

Why do you guys pick on her beliefs so much? She has her reasons for believing what she does and you should respect that.

 

Believe me, atheists can be as close-minded and biggoted as the most zealous fundamentalist christians.

 

 

Just asking not picking at all...

 

I am not an atheist, I believe in God... I can respect her beliefs that is alright.

 

It was an honest question...

[Road Rage]

The problem with all this logic about doing what it takes to get the girl is it becomes a situation of putting the cart before the horse. So Johan wants to get together with her to get to know her. But it seems he has to bend over backwards to do so and pursue her like she was the love of his life.

 

How the hell is he even supposed to know if they really have anything in common until they get together and get to know each other? So this chickepoo can dance around the fact of getting together and it is his job to become a contortionist (bending over backwards:laugh: )???

 

It is a f*cked up notion of romantic love. One that will almost guarantee that women will end up with the biggest player on the planet over and over.

 

And then she will be a ball bustin`, pissed off feminist ranting about how men are no good.

[jcster]

So this chickepoo can dance around the fact of getting together and it is his job to become a contortionist (bending over backwards)

 

Since when is waiting a week and making a phone call "bending over backwards?" She doesn't need to drop everything she's doing to have coffee with this guy just because he thinks she's cute.

[johan]

Since when is waiting a week and making a phone call "bending over backwards?" She doesn't need to drop everything she's doing to have coffee with this guy just because he thinks she's cute.

 

It would be nice though. Why not?

 

To be honest, I'd like a girl who was a little hard to get for a while. I want to respect her. But I also want to know she's interested. I don't like it when people act indifferent, especially when they aren't. I also don't like it when everyone I ever try anything with acts indifferent.

 

That last statement is just me complaining, because I don't try often. So I have more at stake each time I do.

 

And thanks, lonelybird.