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Posted

Insomnie here, for those who know who I am.

 

I have a new male friend and there's been some intense sexual tension between us the last couple of times we hung out. I think I might be starting to really like him, too, but I'm not sure how to proceed for a number of reasons:

 

1. I just got out of a relationship and am not ready for a new one. I know I need to take some time off to find myself and all that. There's a list of goals I have and I promised myself I woudln't get involved with anyone before I was well on my way to accomplishing them. I am so commited to this that I've even buzzed my waist-length hair in symbolic renounciation of dating.

 

2. This is really superficial. Though I am very attracted to my friend, he has a couple of characteristics that, more or less, were dealbreakers for me in the past. Specifically, he is shorter than I am by a couple of inches and balding. However, I am starting to realize that I am shallow and immature, so don't flame me too bad for this one. If the other issues weren't there, this woudn't be an issue.

 

3. I am really enjoying our relationship and I am afraid anything physical that would happen would tip the balance over some way. I also don't want the expectation of having to deliver emotion with the physical acts. I'm not ready for that. My heart was just shattered and all the emotions I have I need to nurture myself with for now.

 

4. I don't feel like I am ready to settle for just him (probably he doens't fit the criteria I had in the past for "the right guy"). So, I don't want to be exclusive, and because he is a good friend I don't want to lead him on somehow and inadvertently hurt him. I am reevaluating my criteria though...it always leads me to fall for the biggest jerks.

 

So basically, I am not ready for a relationship. But, this guy and I have been spending all our free time together, and he is so nice, funny, considerate, smart, etc. And the connection...I've never felt that with anyone. Maybe it comes with being an adult...I've never had an adult relaitonship before. Last time I was single I was 17...a child. The connection is so strong that I can't even maintain eye contact with him... I am afraid the intensity will get so high that we'll just forget the preliminaries and start f^cking... and that it might turn out to be a bad idea later.

Posted

im not tryin to come off sounding mean

but all u'r doin is lustin

if u've always had sex at the tip of ur fingertips

its not gonna be something that u'll jus wanna let go

u dont wanna do the friends with benefits jus in case things to progress

or worse

in ur case

things might fall apart

but jus try ur best to push away those thoughts

it wont be easy

but it'll help make u realize that u'r wastin so much effort on thought

and lil action for urself

Posted

Well, personally, I don't see what the problem is with "lustin" even if that is all this is.

 

Don't let his height or follicular state influence you unduly. Maybe he's a real piston in the sack? And what, pray tell would be wrong with that? Maybe you need some good old sexual healin'?

 

Just a thought...

Posted

yea i can agree with that too

but

if its gonna cause her to think over and over bout the situation

regrets?

oh it was great?

wtf did i just do?

what was i thinkin?

i kno im a girl and i think wayyyy too much sometimes

and sometimes some thoughts end up being a waste of time

in her case

jumpin into sex

could waste her friendship

and then she'll probably really feel outta place

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