dorky328 Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 I posted a thread last week here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t118827/ quoted below .. and I found out from my colleague who set us up that the lady in question felt I was "immature" .. she is 3 mos older than me (both 32) btw what would make a lady call a man immature? I have two theories but would like your opinions theory 1: when i'm with someone i feel a connection with, i tend to lead conversations to lots of smiles and laugther .. and have a (bad) habit of teasing people, mildly according to me, but she did have an annoyed reaction to it on a couple of occassions .. i only tease people i'm very fond of .. but .. is that me being immature? theory 2: i was at her place for dinner, just the two of us, making out on the couch and perhaps my attempts to escalate it into sex were too, uhm .. mild. I backed off every time she put up the smallest resistance .. and then restarted after a while of more cuddling only to back off again at her tiny resistance .. several times. so maybe i came across as sexually immature to .. well .. aggressively go for what i really wanted .. XXX comments please!! i guess i'm just trying to learn something about myself .. i've dated women several years younger than me (early/mid 20s) so i'm sure anything i say/do can come across as more mature than guys their age. but dealing with cougars .. it looks like another story. at work/professional environment i tend to come across as sombre, quiet, reserved but somewhat authoritative (being a manager) .. in personal life i let myself go details from my previous thread: I'm 32 had several long-term gfs but haven't really had much of a traditional "dating" life .. past 6 mos after my last ex of 3+ yrs and I broke up, I've been dating a lot .. a few ended up in bed after 3/4 dates and I lost interest soon after .. most ended after the first date .. but a number of them went on for 3/4/5 dates with kissing (not sex) but again seemed to die down after that .. the last date i had about 2+ weeks ago, blind date set up by a work colleague .. met her for drinks .. attractive lady, very fun to talk to, friendly .. both had a bunch of drinks and started making out (heavy tongue/kissing) at the bar (PDA, not my thing and she did regret it later on) .. anyway i drop her home and we make plans to meet again about a week later we have our 2nd date .. nice dinner, sober, walk around the park, again a bit of french-kissing .. i drop her home, kiss a bit more .. she seemed in a hurry but i suspect she wasn't lying about the work she had to finish that night next day i get a short cryptic email saying about her being in a place where she wants to take things a day at a time and that she hopes i'm not frustrated .. didn't really understand what that meant, ignored it .. called a few times over the week to set up next date 3rd date (week after 2nd date) ..dinner @ her place .. great food .. nice time talking, laughing, smiling .. had a laugh about her cryptic email .. still she seemed very receptive to my kisses but didn't let me .. uhmm .. move beyond that .. kept saying she want to take things slow etc etc .. had a nice time overall and feel that she did too next day i send an short email saying how good food was and i wanted to eat the leftovers .. was this too weird? too fast .. two days later i get a reply/email .. cryptic language again: "i think we are in different places .. blah blah blah .. going out of town for the weekend .. let's catch up next week and see where we are" i knee jerk replied: "i agree .. blah blah blah .. keep in touch and have a good trip" i replied in haste i guess coz i was kinda pissed off as i felt she was leading me on .. i think of myself and other dates i've been on .. if you are not really into someone, you don't french kiss them as much (we did it probably 5-10 times on each date) .. but perhaps i was just being dumb, desperate, or coming across as like i only wanted sex? any advice? should i call next week or did my email make it sound like i expect her to call if she wants to keep in touch (which in hindsight was dumb of me to say) .. i really like her .. compared to all the boring women i've dated in the past 6 mos i'm usually not the desperate, clingy needy kind but i wonder if i came across like that in this case .. hmmmm
Star Gazer Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 but dealing with cougars .. it looks like another story. A Cougar? Are you kidding me??? You can't refer to a woman your own age as a Cougar, my friend. That said, your simple reference to ANY woman as a Cougar reflects - yes - a vastly different level of maturity than the average 32 year old.
kepners Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 bruv bruv bruv.... you need balls... be a real man...a COWBOY, would a COWBOY act like you did that evening? NO! listen, u have failed NUMEROUS tests with her, to be called immature means to me you couldnt be serious with her, talked about utter crap, and joked around too much for a lady... and MAYBE swore to much! but, either way you where not acting your age, talking about things your age, showing how ur lifes going and where you going... i mean its like going out and getting drunk and being sick when ur 32! please!!! yo need to be a MAN!!! STEEL!!! but it could also be a ****ty reason not to see you and thats all she could thing of! hehehe
annabelle75 Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 A Cougar? Are you kidding me??? You can't refer to a woman your own age as a Cougar, my friend. That said, your simple reference to ANY woman as a Cougar reflects - yes - a vastly different level of maturity than the average 32 year old. You took the words right out of my mouth. I'm 31 and I don't think I've quite reached cougar level yet. And to the OP: Sounds like you just didn't quite click with her. It sounds like you like to tease and joke a lot, which can be a very good thing with a lot of women. But some women like a man that is more serious and see being jovial as meaning there is a lack of maturity. I wouldn't take it personally if I were you. You just weren't her type. I'm sure you can find a non-cougar your age that enjoys your teasing side.
kepners Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 also WTF is that cougar thing all about!! i seriously dont understand it
Can'tGiveUp Posted May 12, 2007 Posted May 12, 2007 also WTF is that cougar thing all about!! i seriously dont understand it Generally speaking they are 40+ yr old divorced women dressing like they are 20 something year olds hanging out in bars to get picked up. An extremely derogatory term in my opinion. However, the definition seems to change from one area to another and some feel that it is a compliment.
Author dorky328 Posted May 12, 2007 Author Posted May 12, 2007 i thought 30+ yr old women are generally referred to as cougars .. oh well.
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