Mistaken Identity Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 I'm confused and could use some insight. I'll try to summarize: My husband and I were married for eight years. Throughout that time, he drank, quit jobs, and left me several times for days without warning. I should add he had a schizophrenic episode before we were married, but seemed "normal" following medication and counseling. We attempted to relocate to Texas. He was hired to do a job he loved but quit it after less than a week. He dsiappeared for a few days after he quit. To make a long story short, he ended up living with his mother for a few months. He came back home, then left again after he quit yet another job. The last time he disappeared, I didn't bother to track him down. He ended up with his dad in a retirement town about an hour away. He called me about four months after he left to say it had taken him that long to find a job. He felt he didn't have anything to offer me or our daughter so he hadn't contacted us. He said the reason he left the last time was because he thought nobody wanted him here. The reason he left when I was pregnant years before was because I was too friendly with my oldest daughter's father (He weighed 400 pounds and is now deceased as a result. We were just friends!) He left while we were in Texas because he felt anxious. Anyway. he claimed he was messed up the whole time we were together, due to his medication--and that he was a changed man. I let him visit us every weekend for about the past month. You can probably guess what happened next. The last time he came for a visit, he had quit his job. He said he wanted to move down here to be closer to us. In the meantime, he was so desperate for money that he started pawning his belongings. Then he said he wanted his guns which he also abandoned when he left Texas. My mother has them locked away in a gun case and doesn't want him to have them. He threatened to call the police. I asked him not to do that because it would just add stress to my life. He didn't call them. Instead, --you guessed it--he disappeared again. Here's what I don't get: How can he act like the most loving guy in the world, saying things like, "There is no other woman for me," "You guys are my whole world," etc. and just leave all the time? BTW, he does drink to get drunk when he feels bad or stressed out. Please help me to get over him once and for all. This isn't good for our six-year-old.
amaysngrace Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 He's irresponsible. And you're being irresponsible to your daughter if you allow him to keep drifting in and out of her life anymore. Your daughter deserves one responsible parent at least, no? He uses his mental condition as a convenient excuse to act irresponsibly. He'd get no sympathy from me if he was my child's father. Respect either for that matter.
Trialbyfire Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 Throughout that time, he drank, quit jobs, and left me several times for days without warning. I should add he had a schizophrenic episode before we were married, but seemed "normal" following medication and counseling. Alcohol, medication and mental disorders do not mix. Schizophrenic symptoms can be masked with medication but the mental disorder doesn't go away. A schizophrenics actions cannot be viewed in the same way as the actions of someone who is sane. You cannot try to make logic from someone who is probably delusional. Btw, my aunt by marriage has schizophrenia so it's where I get my exposure from.
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