overwhelmedmomof2 Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 I have posted here before and received great responses. I was hoping that I could get some advice now. I've been married for 6 years. We have a 4 year old son and a 14 month old daughter. We have had serious marital problems for at least 3 or 4 years. I have put up with a lot, but this Saturday was the last straw for me. I mentioned a lot of this in my previous post (resentment, drug use, constant fighting). This Saturday we started fighting and the argument got out of hand. I cursed at him and he became furious. He got his belt and started hitting me with it. He kept saying that he didn't care if he was taken by the police. He continue hitting me with the belt and yelling at me to get up and fight. I refused and curled up to protect myself. He then started throwing sneakers at me. He picked up the tv and was going to throw it at me, but I pleaded with him to put it down. He did. Afterward he said he was sorry. The next morning I noticed bruises on my legs. I think that woke me up. I decided that was it...no more. I told him I want this marriage to end because it is unhealthy and is just getting worse. He started crying and showed a lot of remorse, but so far I have stayed firm. He is trying to use every way of convincing me to stay. He suggested getting a bigger apartment so that we could have separate bedrooms and continue to live together for the purposes of him helping me with the kids. He has made sexual advances which I have refused. He continues to talk about us buying a house or a new car together. I have told him repeatedly this week that a separation is what has to happen and that he should start planning accordingly. I currently don't work and am starting a fellowship in June. The fellowship provides a stipend of $2,500 and I won't start working full-time until Sept. Now I thought this would give him time to save up and move, but I feel uncomfortable with his constant talk of our future and his attempts to reconcile. So I'm not sure how else to explain to him that as far as I'm concerned we are preparing for our separation. Anyone been in a similar situation that could give me some advice? Thanks.
amaysngrace Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 So I'm not sure how else to explain to him that as far as I'm concerned we are preparing for our separation. Anyone been in a similar situation that could give me some advice? Thanks. I sure hope you've gotten pictures of the bruises he inflicted on you. I really don't think you need to explain sh^t to this man. If I were you I'd be too busy planning my own safe escape and that of my children to explain anything to HIM. Besides, does he really care what you think? And furthermore does he deserve to know where your head is at? No! Screw him. If he fails to plan and you make this thing happen then too bad for him for not thinking of his future. It's not your duty. Your duty is to get your children and yourself away from him as soon as possible. Plan your escape.
LakesideDream Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 It literally sickens me to hear of people treating other this way. Worse, for a man to do this to his wife, partner, mother of his children is beyond comprehension. Overwhelmedmom, if I was your father, I can absolutely gaurentee this man would never do this to you again. If the Law didn't deal with him, I would. Whipping your wife with a leather belt must be among the lowest forms of depravity. The level of psycological sickness demonstrated by your husband is pathological. I am willing to gaurentee he wouldn't do that to his Dog. You need to leave the house with your children NOW. Go to the police department in your area, file a complaint, file for a protective order, and leave. Once safe, don't return to your home until he is GONE. Change the locks and buy a shotgun. A man who can do this to his wife, and the mother of his children is capable of unlimited violence against you. He needs to be prevented from having any access to you or your children, PERIOD. Take steps to protect you and your children TODAY.
Ladyjane14 Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 You've got pretty good reason to believe he cheats on you according to your other thread.. and now he's beating you??! Are you going to hang around waiting for him to do it again? And if he can't manage enough self-control to keep his hands to himself when he's pissed off... how do you know it won't be one of your kids he's beating with that belt later on??? There's no question here. Get some help, and get you and your kids out of there and somewhere safe. Call your local domestic abuse hotline. Safety first.
Author overwhelmedmomof2 Posted May 11, 2007 Author Posted May 11, 2007 Thank you for your responses. I have scheduled an appointment with a DV counselor on Monday to find out my options are. I have only told one friend what happened. After speaking to him, I took pictures of the bruises. I have not wanted to think about the next time, but I have accept that he has no control when he is angry and obviously doesn't respect me enough to keep his hands to himself.
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