Guest Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 okay, I met this girl about four months ago. we connected, had about three great dates and i thought she was into it a bit more than I was. then we were getting down to it in her house and she stopped and said it felt wrong - 'It wasnt there', which i thought was untrue because you can tell when there's a connection. That was tough to deal with cause i liked her but i let it go. Last week i was out with a mutual friend who said she was talking about me alot. I texted her about something unrelated and she called me instantly, asking to meet up for a coffee. We met up last night. Its clear that she fancies me and i fancy her. the chemistry is there and we are completely comfortable with each other. She said she didnt mean it to be a date but i had made it clear that i didnt want to be just friends. Anyway, we got on well, spoke for about 4 hours and and kissed afterwards. I knew it was a bad idea. She said the kiss was lovely and admits that she fancies me but says she needs to be totally sure to be in a relationship and that she isnt. sounds to me like she might have commitment issues. I'm not sure what to do, probably best to move on and let her deal with her issues. Any suggestions?
jcster Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 It does sound like she has commitment issues. It sounds as though she likes you, but not enough to overcome her reluctance to get into a relationship. I don't think that pursuing her right now is going to change matters. Maybe you could just try keeping in touch with her, and maybe her outlook will change - sometimes timing is everything. Otherwise, I'd move on.
Shizz Posted May 18, 2007 Posted May 18, 2007 Keep going out with her occasionally. Obviously she feels some connection to you, but wants to make sure its a sure thing before she takes a plunge. You can't really fault her there. Keep in the distant background, sometimes a person has to know you, and know your intentions are not just physical before they'll get into a relationship with you.
DanielMadr Posted May 18, 2007 Posted May 18, 2007 You can read about this phenomea all over in here. Possibilities: 1. She was burnt and plays it extremely safe now. 2. Its a 'Will you respect me enough if I say no' test. 3. She is just toying with you for the sake of ego-boost or revenge on male gender. 4. She just dont know what she wants. She is emotionally unstable. 5. You triggered slvt reflex. 'Oh no, not so early or somebody might think Im easy.' Possible solution is telling her: 'I will never leave you' as 'I promise, I will never die.' Which is obviously the biggest lie but she just need to hear it, b/c then you take all responsibility. I suggest for you to move on. There are too many possible dangers. And only one decent possibility involve you making the Big Lie.
DanielMadr Posted May 18, 2007 Posted May 18, 2007 Golden rule: If there is some Drama before commitment, one can be sure there will be tons of Drama in the relationship.
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