fray718 Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 Ok so I've been dating this guy called W for a month and the idea of exclusivity has been lingering in my mind...(for those who read my other thread, i chickened out on asking him to be exclusive with me ) Thing is, Im ready to be exclusive but I dont know if he is yet and I'd rather wait a few more weaks just to be sure. Now with that background info aside, how do you all feel about the idea of dating more than one person at a time? Some issues I think worth looking into: 1) Sometimes when I read all these articles and discussions I think that people dating multiple people is the norm. But I hope I"m wrong. What do you all think? Do you think most people (ie what percentage) date one person at a time or do dating sprees? 2) In relation to #1, when I'm back in reality (away from the internet ) it seems that most people I know in real life don't date 3 ppl at once. Two of my guy friends say once they get past date 3 with a girl, they dont want to date anyone else cuz it 'complicates' things. Your thoughts? 3) I'm a firm believer of 'do onto others as you would have them do onto you.' In other words, I think when it comes to the point where I wouldn't feel ok with the other person dating anyone else, then I prob shouldnt date others. What comes around goes around, karma, etc.....but I guess if you're ok with the other person dating someone else than its fine. But when deep feelings have developed, it gets tricky. Plus Im scared that W might see be out with someone else...he will prob feel so hurt!..assuming he cares as much as i think he does. 4) Even without sex, thought of kissing W on Fri night then kissing J on Sat night grosses me out! I will naturally feel icky!
str_Ay Posted May 17, 2007 Posted May 17, 2007 it is so normal u shouldnt even sweat it. before my boyfriend and i hooked up i used to date multiple men all the time. and its not bc its jus a "for fun thing" its mainly u jus have no idea on what u may be missing out on unless u go out and figure it out. no one said u had to kiss the other guys. if anything, dont do it unless u'r absolutely 100% comfy with it. sometimes u will realize maybe u are better off with someone else, or better, u realized the person ur currently and mostly seeing is exactly what u were lookin for. so it varies person to person. but u'll jus never kno until u just get up and do it
GregsBad Posted May 18, 2007 Posted May 18, 2007 it is so normal u shouldnt even sweat it. before my boyfriend and i hooked up i used to date multiple men all the time. and its not bc its jus a "for fun thing" its mainly u jus have no idea on what u may be missing out on unless u go out and figure it out. no one said u had to kiss the other guys. if anything, dont do it unless u'r absolutely 100% comfy with it. sometimes u will realize maybe u are better off with someone else, or better, u realized the person ur currently and mostly seeing is exactly what u were lookin for. so it varies person to person. but u'll jus never kno until u just get up and do it Yes. What she said!
Trialbyfire Posted May 18, 2007 Posted May 18, 2007 Relax and enjoy life. Dating is about finding the person you want to have a relationship with or simply to enjoy the company of the opposite gender. While I can't imagine sleeping with more than one person at a time (ick, it's just me), dating multiple men isn't that big of a deal. I would never date anyone I wasn't attracted to, but not enough to hit the hay with... The minute you go relationship hunting, good luck finding a guy who will instantly be the right connection. Better to get to know a number of individuals so you can see who you really mesh with. Premarriage I dated individuals or multiples. Now post marriage, I'm dating multiples. Make sure they know about each other and don't play them off each other. I can't stand games like that.
Recommended Posts