Guest Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 My live in boyfriend had a reuptation of keeping all his ex bonks on his mobile phone and occasionally phoning them up.After some time of being with him and talking to those that know him I soon found out that he has done this through all his relationships hence none of them ever last and sometimes he has gone back with the previous girl. A few months ago I caught him out,only this time he accidently recorded his chat with a bonk which he denied any going ons with.I blasted him and we almost broke up over it. Well things finally hit rock bottom for us both when this happened and I kicked him out.He went and lived at the bosses house for around a month and during that time he showed me how committed he was to me.I asked him to move back in after all,he was here every night anyway so all was going great,he was going all out of his way to make me happy and feel like his girl until lately and I have been feeling so insecure.I found a number on his cell phone,the number was under STAN.I asked him who that was and he got defensive.In fact he use to show me his phone but then he started to hide it and I then started to feel something was wrong. I called this STAN number and a female answered it....he had told me stan was a work colleague..yes and had he also had a sex change?I called the next day and the same girl answered so then last night he and I had an arguement over me feeling like he doesnt want me and is contacting girls again to which he denied.This morning I asked him about STAN,he then confesses that Stan is indeed one of his ex bonks,the very one he played up with on his last girlfriend.He tells me she phoned him to get a number and he called her back to tell her he didnt have it.Now remembering,he has been so good to me lately but my insecurities kicked in,ya know when you get a gut feeling about something.Well I was right but he said to me he loved me and if he wanted STAN then he would not be with me,that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.Many many nice things,I was crying my eyes out and he was telling me he doesnt want anyone else,that there was nothing in this conversation with STAN.OK so why hide the number?if she called him up then why even bother to save it on his phone and under another name?Obviously to hide things from me.He apoligised to me and was concerned for my mental state.He tells me over and over he wants no one else and hid this from me as he knew I would be upset if I knew it was her. Do I believe him this time or do I go ahead and contact this girl and find out what is going on?
Bree Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 I'm sorry, but i really think he is cheating on you. Be careful with your heart because he won't be.
Aloros Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 I'm sorry. I agree with Bree. Call her, find out what's really going on, use it to get justifiably angry, and then dump him. He doesn't deserve a steady girlfriend.
Miss_Bee Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 I'm sorry to say this, but yes i too, think he's cheating on you with his ex. If he isn't cheating, he's still betraying you by going behind your back and lying to you. I don't know if calling her will do any good. If he fooled around on his last gf with her, then chances are she knew he was a taken man and was either trying to win him back, or she was such a ho, that she simply didn't care if he was cheating on another woman. If she does know that he has a gf, then chances are, she'll lie to protect her *ss as well as his. If i were you, i wouldn't even bother with the ex. I would just tell him how much it bother's you that he has so much contact with his ex-gf's. You have reason to.. He's been unfaithful before. If he still wants to contact them against your wishes, then i'd leave him. It would prove that his "friendships" are more important that his relationship with you... So what would be the point of staying?
LoveLace Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 I'd call her. Cuz if she tells you they are messing around, you have a proven reason to turn your back on him. However, if this chick is trying to get him back, she's capable of lying to come between you two. He may actually be telling the truth about her (not too likely); I'd still call her to see how her reaction is, but you probably can't trust her any more than he. On the flip side, if he's been messing with her and she doesn't really know about you, she'll know when you call, and hopefully he'd lose you both because thats what he would deserve. "Stan" is obviously to keep you from knowing about whatever's going on. If she was really only calling for another person's phone #, I don't think he'd go as far as calling her "Stan". He's trying pretty hard to have his cake and eat it too. If you stayed with him, I think you'd always put up with this...I don't think he's going to change, even if he gets married. Ask yourself if you want to go through life wondering if he's up to no good and being paranoid all the time. It's probably an issue that would be in your relationship for all time. If you don't break it off, he at least needs to earn your trust back BIG TIME and even then it'll linger around. If you can't call every single # in his phone without a girl answering, say see ya.
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