Bodies_under_Siege Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 My boyfriend and I were together for 11 months then all of a sudden he broke up with me saying "his feelings changed." we still hang out like everyday and he tucks me in everynight, gives me piggy back rides, and hugs me. Now he says he wants to get back together but he doesn't know if it's because he hates seeing me sad or because he really wants to... and he needs time to think about it. I just don't understand.
agnf666 Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 Either he wanted to get with someone else and that didn't work out or he really doesn't know what he wants. You need to tell him he needs to take time and really make sure that he wants to be with you. If not then he is just going to make you more sad if you guys get back together and he just doesn't want to be with you.
Zona76 Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 I agree. He was looking to someone else and it most likely didn't pan out. Tell him you still care for him as much as ever. (There's nothing wrong in that.) But also tell him he's the most important person in the world. If he's not happy then neither can you be happy. Ask him to take his time to make sure if this is what he wants, because you don't want to be a substitute till something else comes along. He needs to take a few days away from you to be alone to miss you.
Teddy and Jane Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 Eh. Let this one go. Cut him off for good. Unlike the other posters, I don't agree with giving a guy "time to figure things out how he feels." Forget that. He's either crazy about you or he's not. If he's unsure, he's not. He's just not that into you. It's sad what women these days will tolerate, and how they accommodate these loser guys.
Yamaha Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 I think he feels sorry for you and still may want you around for a booty call. Is this acceptable to you?
stupidhead Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 as someone who has had issues knowing just what i am feeling and for what reasons...i don't think cutting off contact is necessarily the right thing to do at least until you know more about what's going on (i.e. whether or not there really was "someone else.") i cared immensely for my ex-boyfriend but questioned my feelings all the time. sometimes i wanted to bail so badly on the relationship (i have serious anxiety issues) for reasons i could not understand or articulate, but i stuck with him -- i couldn't tell you if it was because i loved him or because i just cared about him and didn't want to hurt him. and actually, i did bail on him the first time we tried dating, after only a week and spent the next six months being confused about my feelings...and, like a bastard, communicating those confused feelings to him (mostly via drunken email). if you're young like me, i think it's especially easy to be confused about the boundaries between love and friendship, and to need some time to think about it. that being said, if you do get the impression that he's just stringing you along, then things are different. and some time apart would likely kick his brain into high gear b/c it's probably hard for him to fully see the incentives of getting back together with you when he still has such a connection with you anyway. good luck.
Teeky3 Posted May 13, 2007 Posted May 13, 2007 read the book "He's just not that into you" by Greg Behrendt and stop making this loser sound like a winner.
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