starting2realize Posted May 10, 2007 Posted May 10, 2007 I will try and keep this short. I met a woman several months ago online and hit it off well! She lives in another state and we met a month after talking half way and it was really like we both found love at first sight! Of course I just was getting through a divorce with an alcoholic and my love know longer existed there, but my ex wife lived with me 4 months until divorce was final with no problems. I was really over this long ago and SO Ready to move on. The new woman I met was going through the same thing or so she said. Soon after we met, she told me she was going to let her husband move back in because he needed a place to stay. Her house is owned by her mother and since my wife and I lived together before the divorce I accepted it. I heard they sleep in different rooms and crap like that. Early on in the relationship her husband called me and basically said he had alsways been there and they WERE not separated, it was not a nasty converstaion. I was infuriated!!! She called me soon after me speaking to him and said he was just saying this becuase he was hurt about her wanting the divorce. I believed her. She continued telling me that she was unhappy, miserable and wanted a divorce and that she was separated. In her state you must be separated a year before divorce will be granted. We talked a lot on the phone and I travelled to see her many times. Each time we were together I could see the love we shared as we made love and stared into each other's eyes. When we would leave each other it was a sad thing as we cried together. She came to see me twice which started to bother me and we never talked on the weekends. When I would go and see her it would only be for 3-4 hours most of the time in the hotel room and occasionly we would go out to dinner or shop. I wanted to believe her about the time spent. She told me that she was working on things and that her husband whom she wanted a divorce made her feel guilty about wanting the divorce. That is how she explained the amount of time spent with me and I like an idiot believed her because I fell madly love and was being patient. She would give me hope saying things like showing up at my house with her belongings and say that she was trying to work things out so we could be. A few months ago I found out that she lied about not being able to come and see me after she promised me. From that point on I started to really thinking about everything she ever told me. And it had been like 3 months since she had last came to stay with me. She became very defensive after things, but I loved her so I forgave that and really thought she was still trying to get things in order for us. She would never tell me that she wanted me out of her life when I asked. I just wanted to be sure if she had second thoughts about being married. I went two months of not seeing her because she started acting different and saw her last week. In a round about way she told me she was staying with her husband after we fooled around, (everything but intercourse). I could see in her eyes and face that she didin't really like the decision she was making as we cried and held each other. Before I left, she asked can I call you and see how you are? I didn't have it in me to say no!! Why in the world would she still want to talk to me. I am 35 years old and had my share of experiences with women, but no other woman made me feel what I did for this one!!! I saw what she felt when I looked into her eyes! People lie, but their eyes can't!!! I honestly feel like this woman loves me dearly, misses me, but felt guilty about what she did to her husband. I do not think they discussed divorce and never were separated! I feel used and like a nasty secret she tried hiding from him. I still can't get over her and have an emptyness inside I can't explain. God I have never felt the pain I do now and we seemed so right for each other. She got herself in a nasty affair whle lying to me about it, fell in love with me and couldn't finish the deal. I am just having a hard time moving because I still love the cheater/ liar with everything in me!! I still have been talking to her and I know I should stop, but I am in bad shape right now!!! I feel so :-( and used!!!!!!
Darth Vader Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 You two never had sex? Have you ever thought about contacting her husband and telling him about his wife lying to both of you? Go completely NC with this woman and get some IC, you need it.
Author starting2realize Posted May 11, 2007 Author Posted May 11, 2007 Vader, we didn't have intercourse when I was up there last week, everything but intercourse. However, when we would see each other we had lots of sex!!! You misunderstood me or I was vague. During the whole relationship we had sex when I went there and when she was down here twice. She complained about husband being boring and sexually boring. So I feel used for sex mostly!!! Reason we didn't have sexual intercourse last week, I am assuming is because it would make her feel guilty and I guess fooling around was permissible in her twisted screwed up mind!
Author starting2realize Posted May 11, 2007 Author Posted May 11, 2007 Didn't have to contact him, because he knew. But he knows things and has seen more than he wants now after last week!!! I know what NC is, but what is IC?
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