electric_sheep Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 This whole thin vs. curvy thing is actually very relavent for me right now, as my girlfriend has put on an extra 25 pds. since I've been dating her, and I've noticed a decline in my libido. First off I should say I think it's ridiculous to be picky about 5 or 10 pounds in either direction, as only a control freak would attempt to hold someone to such tight standards. In my case, when I really think about it, I realize the "visual" aspect of the issue is only a small fraction of it. The 25 pds. represent a fundamental difference in lifestyle more than anything. It's this difference in lifestyle that is causing problems. I've always been very competitive and athletic, and I'll push myself to the edge. A dogged willingness to just "trudge on" is something I admire in others. I love getting outdoors and walking, running, playing hacky sack, climbing trees ... whatever. I'm also not "lazy" by any stretch of the imagination. If I see something that needs to be done, I'm inclined to just get it done right away. And then there is the issue of just eating healthy and taking care of one's body. These things have always been important to me, my daily Starbucks pastry aside. I mean, I'm probably not too unusual in this regard, but my ideal girlfriend would be a sexy tomboy type. Preferrably she could even kick my ass at one or two things. If she could beat me in the mile I think I'd marry her on the spot, it would bring such joy to my heart. Or even in the 100m dash. Now that would be something. Who is that blonde east European tennis player? Oh my... there's a girl to make your heart go thump thump. Anyway, we don't really get to pick who we fall for, and every couple has spots where they fit real tight and others where they don't fit very well at all. I guess it's all a learning process, trying to figure out what's most important to us. I hadn't really considered how important being active and healthy was to me, till confronted w/ someone with a different outlook. I wonder how many people find themselves is a more or less wonderful relationship, but still have the occational wistful "if only he/she ..." thought? It's a terribly unhealthy habit, but probably all too human.
sb129 Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 I hate to break it for you but people with healthy self esteem dont start bitching around when someone makes a little fun of them Lol. Im sure you will manage the other things pretty good too. I came across an interesting piece of advice recently....People who have nothing to complain - above average looks, health, education etc. have quiute problems with self esteem. Because everyone and themselves expect they will have marvelous results in most parts of their lives but sometimes its not that way due to simple bad luck or because they are too hard on themselves. Hence their self esteem starts leaking and the problems grow even more. Vicious cycle. They look for approval from outer world, which is not crucial and never enough. Crucial is to seek peace withim themselves. Paradox is when someone have the inner peace and isnt looking for approval, he gets plenty of it, but dont need it anymore. That was me. I ended up on antidepressants as a result! Have come along way now tho... not so hard on myself anymore, have accepted who I am and I am cool with that. I love food, but I love exercise too. I will never be super thin, but I like how I look, and BF does too. Life is good. Simple, but good. I am happier than I have been in years, and the healthiest! Champagne are you GEBs successor?
hardcase Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 Intelligence and sense of humor (personality) would NEVER trump looks for a man. They're superficial that way. Thats because you obviously have never dated any real men....that and you hate men.
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