krzr Posted May 10, 2007 Posted May 10, 2007 been broken up for close to 8 months i think and doing strict no contact since january but it seems to be getting tuff at times to block the memories out and get feelings rushing back. just seems really dificult lately maybe im at the point of letting go so im gripping onto it more so afraid to give up on whatever is left in my heart. maybe i just loved this girl that much i dont want to end up like the guy on the notebook pining for this girl all his life. maybe its simply the fact that its been the longest we have not contacted one another and after not replying to her last 5-6 txt msges she has finally given up and its scary to think we may never speak to one another again. maybe i just miss her and am feeling lonely but no matter how hard it gets i stick to it because eventually it will be ok.
Guest Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 I'm sorry it's tough right now, but it will get better. If you read through the older posts you see many people have bad times after weeks and months of NC. Unfortunately you have to sit them out, and once they have finished you are stronger. At the moment I am strong (day 91 of NC) but I know there will be bad times to come, however each one gets a little shorter, first they were a week or more, then a few days now sometimes they are just a short dip of a couple of hours. I do understand your fear - there are times when I cannot believe that I will never speak to the person who until recently was guiding me through life. It just does not seem possible. But life goes on and you (and I) will find someone else when you (we) are ready. Take care, and keep busy
bchlvr Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 krzr-- I wish there was an explanation that would satisfy us alleviate all the sadness that still remains. It is perplexing to me why after so many months the ex still takes up a lot of free rent space in our heads. Today is one year since my breakup. I've maintained NC for the whole year. It is very frustrating that I still think about her on a regular basis. Like you, I ask, "why am I thinking about her," all the time. The difference now is that even though I think about her, the thoughts are less painful than they were 6 months ago. So, I try to think about how far I've come rather than focus on how far I have left to go. You are making progress even if you don't have all the answers. And as you know, NC is your answer!
Author krzr Posted May 11, 2007 Author Posted May 11, 2007 ya i dunno this week was extremely difficult i fought urges off to contact her and one night i was having a dificult time sleeping and was thinking about jumping on the gexxer and cruisin by her house but i didnt. i also have had urges to pull her picture out and take a look but i have fought those off also. been some moments of breaking down and crying lately which is really odd since its been so long and i have not cried for her in such a long time. i dunno i guess its better to just accept the waves of emotions and thoughts and go thru it. maybe i will never be totally healed and over this but i know ill get to a place where ill be ok and happy instead of trying to make myself happy if that makes any sense. as long as i know im not doing it to myself im ok with it im going out and doing everything i can to pull myself out of this. working out, going to every concert, going out every weekend and on weekdays, hooking up the hotties taking girls on the back of my bike or rollin the big body benz on vegas trips every other weekend just about. but this girl still has my heart i guess it just takes time...
loveinlife Posted May 12, 2007 Posted May 12, 2007 I feel your pain fellow LS. Im trying to do NC because it looks like my ex is backing off on me after a first time of her coming back. Partially i blame myself for the second time because it didn't go right. I contacted her yesterday as we still maintain friendship and speak to each other everyday. My friends tell me that i am her plan b and she has told me to wait for her to come back but recently things are not going as planned, perhaps she met someone else or we are incompatible. But what i think pushed her away from me is that i always ask her what she is doing like is she seeing someone else. This has really been a roller coaster ride for me, but i will try to be strong and maintain my own dignity and love to not let this destroy me. Good luck to you guys/girls!
Author krzr Posted May 14, 2007 Author Posted May 14, 2007 i was thinking about sending my exes mom a happy mother day txt but decided against it and felt like being a little selfish myself. im feeling kinda blah about it today but feel like i made the right decision overall. even thou her parents loved me and wanted me to marry there daughter gotta let all that go. she txts and calls me periodically i dont usually reply so its not a oddball thing i was thinking about doing.
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