parents say i have no goals and ambition-went to school all my life, and no work exp

[joel]

ok heres the deal i'm 26 finsihed my diploma in business (community college) and previously an IT computer 1 yr certificate . i lost confidence in IT since i wrote 2 tests for 2 different companies and didn;t do well.

so far as today i am just working as a customer service rep at a call centre. its ok. no heavy lifting, and in an office environment which i like.

since i haven't worked or at all in most of my life-but going to school -collge, i lack work experience. i had a really really hard time finding work, but i did.

 

so now my dad is harassing and bugging me once in a while as how i have no goals and ambition. ok i was forced to go to college right after HS for upgrading for 2 yrs, then IT program for 1 yr and 2 yrs for business and also other courses at school. bascially i hardly worked in my life, b/c i was forced to go to school. my folks are super super strict and they would have harassed me to death if i didn't.

 

so how am i not ambition and not goal oriented , when i went to school all my life and bascially have no no work experience. i am sooo lucky to even have this call centre job.

 

they make comparision like Jim pattision and vancouver (expo owner )xi liang... who basically have nothing and millionaires. "ya they have no education and are millionares, how about you joe , you have college for 3 yrs".

 

ok do u want me to be like that? do i lack goals and ambition , i mean i am trying to find work related in my field--- in marketing coordinator, work as a e comm buyer at best buy, markeitnng analyst, but guiess what i apply many many times and no call backs. i had employers even ask what i have been doing for so many yrs, well i been goin to school.

[alextop30]

First I would suggest that you calm down coz you sound frustrated. There is nothing to be frustrated about. I don't really understand how you feel because I started working when I was in highschool but I can ensure you that it is not lost. What you need to do in my perspective is work on your job for now until you get some experience and keep looking for a new job, keep looking for something better I think that is what your parents mean by not having any goals. A person keeps looking for better and does not stop to strive for greateness. So I would suggest just tell your parents to chill and that you are looking for better job - and if you want to study more get a better degree while working on the job you are now - your choice. The point I am trying to make is find some bigger goals than you have now and work towards compleating them and the work experiance will fall into place - a person is not born with experiance, no he falls down and than picks himself up from the ground and than keeps going utill he finds the secret.

[joel]

i always didn;t do well in academic schooling. average mark C average in HS . math. physics, and even english-considering i'm canadian born. i did better in college though, i guess b/c those subject were a little more appealing to me.

 

 

when your not really good at anything its hard to now what u enjoy. i didn;t do well at all in HS,but i attended class everyday, did my homework, studied and was on average a C average student. i guess not that smart or just school wasn't for me.

 

kinda of weird . i was always told what to do. do this , no this , ya thats ok, anything i made a decision it was no good, or not good enough or why didn't you do it this way. its like getting dictated and bossed around. growing up it was like taht, as i got older -well samething, kinda of annoying. i just now if i ever bring a girl home, as soon as she leaves-they'll be like yea her nose is too big, shes doesn't speak good enough chinese, or what not. there will always be some critical criteria they have to complain and whine about. be it the shirt i bought at Sears being too bold to myself borrowing comic books from the library-they aren't educational and a waste of time.

[Craig]

Joel you have to move away from your parents influence or stop complaining.

 

I mean it, change cities. Go to Edmonton or Winnipeg, start thinking about being an ordinary but happy citizen and reject your parents delusions of grandeur for you.

[amerikajin]

i always didn;t do well in academic schooling. average mark C average in HS . math. physics, and even english-considering i'm canadian born. i did better in college though, i guess b/c those subject were a little more appealing to me.

 

 

when your not really good at anything its hard to now what u enjoy. i didn;t do well at all in HS,but i attended class everyday, did my homework, studied and was on average a C average student. i guess not that smart or just school wasn't for me.

 

kinda of weird . i was always told what to do. do this , no this , ya thats ok, anything i made a decision it was no good, or not good enough or why didn't you do it this way. its like getting dictated and bossed around. growing up it was like taht, as i got older -well samething, kinda of annoying. i just now if i ever bring a girl home, as soon as she leaves-they'll be like yea her nose is too big, shes doesn't speak good enough chinese, or what not. there will always be some critical criteria they have to complain and whine about. be it the shirt i bought at Sears being too bold to myself borrowing comic books from the library-they aren't educational and a waste of time.

 

Joel,

 

Craig is right - you have to start being your own man.

 

I think the frustration you feel is that your parents are very domineering, telling you how to live your life. But you don't really want that, do you? You really want to do your own thing, and that's understandable.

 

I know it's not just as easy as telling your parents what you want. They are traditional Chinese and have very different attitudes about what you should be doing with your life, and maybe you're afraid that if you do or say the wrong thing that you'll hurt your relationship with them.

 

But...

 

...things aren't so great right now anyway. Your parents are already giving you a hard time, so what do you have to lose by taking control of your life? You're old enough to do that. You have to do that. This is the only way you're going to make life better for yourself.

 

I would live at home, save up some money and then, move out when you feel that you can live safely on your own. Then think about what you want to do, and do it. Try different things. But whatever you do, make sure it's your choice. If you don't stand up for yourself, you're going to be miserable.

 

Good luck.