Art_Critic Posted May 16, 2007 Posted May 16, 2007 DDL, You are such a good Mom.. and you have a great kid...
sb129 Posted May 16, 2007 Posted May 16, 2007 sb129, Charge me...that's funny! I have had a dental question for months, and even considered asking you about it, but I decided that was crossing an invisible line. I know I need to just go to a dentist! LS is great in that so many people have varied knowledge and I once joked that I have a great memory as to who specializes in what and I could easily put two people together to solve many of life's little issues in a way involving knowledge more than opinion. To all that have contributed, I did speak to my daughter this morning and discussed the info here on this thread. I think she has some thinking to do. I pointed out literally every kind of response; the good/harmless posts, the support of doing this in the most safe way possible, the stories of disillusion with the decision, the stories of possible employment discrimination, and the decision to wait and be sure. She indicated that she has been giving this thought for quite awhile, but I got the impression that she would continue to think along some of the "new idea" lines I proposed. I don't think she will do it without bringing up the subject again, and if that happens I will be as supportive as I know how to be. It is her choice and I will still love her regardless of how she proceeds. You can PM me if you want, I don't mind at all. Then when you go to your dentist you can see if things correlate.
a4a Posted May 21, 2007 Posted May 21, 2007 http://www.guzer.com/videos/snl_tattoo_removal.php Brought this thread back to life for some important info on tattoo removal.
MarinaAquamarina Posted June 17, 2007 Posted June 17, 2007 If it helps, I've had my lip periced twice, and my nose pierced twice. My mum just let me get on with it (it's only ever been the two of us, so we're more like housemates than mother and daughter). And now, they're all gone! It was just a phase, I grew out of it. It's just one of those things, she'll get it done, then get bored and take it out. Just be thankful she doesn't want a tattoo!
Author dropdeadlegs Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 Since so many of you gave your advice, opinions, and in some cases condolences and back pats, I wanted to report that she walked in minutes ago with her lip pierced. Well, I hate it. I can't find anything good to say about it, but I still love her. I just hope she is in terrible pain eating that Ravioli.
ruby_gloom Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 ddl, you would hate me if i was your daughter or friend of your daughter! to date, i have 15 piercings--all of which are on my face and ears, except 3. i'm sorry that you are disappointed with your daughter getting her lip pierced, but i don't think you should be. while it's true that many young people are getting pierced and tattooed because it seems to be the fad of the moment, that doesn't mean it's the only reason why people do it. piercings and tattoos are no different than any other accessories, aesthetically speaking. it's the same as choosing particular clothing or hair dyes that project your personality. i think lip piercings are pretty, and the good thing about them is that they seal up quicker than other piercings when the jewelry is no longer worn. also, if taken care of properly, there will be no scaring. i had my lip pierced for the first time when i was 16, but because school was giving me hell, i eventually took it out--being in detention and in-house suspension because of it almost every day wasn't really worth it. so, i removed it and after about 3 weeks, it was completely closed and there were no remnants that pointed to my having had a piercing there. i got it pierced again not too long, though, and i've started to wear a ring everyday. but then again, i'm quite the oddity: my face is all pierced, i have a tattoo in a really stupid place, i dye my hair bizarre colors almost every week, and i mostly wear dark-colored clothes. because of this, i am supposed to be some punk or goth or some other such nonsense, but i'm not. that said, perhaps your daughter wanted to do it out of curiosity, in which case she'll sooner than later remove it, and it will close up, or she did it for reasons that are personal to her, in which case, i think, people labeling her whatever things and giving her problems just because they are not comfortable with it is wrong. it's cool that she talks to you, ddl. that should be what you take from this. my parents hated that i did it and would always try to yank them out. can you imagine that? believe me: she knows and appreciates that you took the time to talk to her about this, and is glad that she has a mom who she can talk to and confide in about her desires, whatever they may be. most kids don't have this opportunity, so i am sure she is not taking it for granted. and if/when the day comes that she takes it out and says, "boy, was i stupid" then you should be sure that she will also think about how kind and understanding you were with her while you discussed a delicate subject. you should be happy, if anything, ddl. she actually asked you for your opinion and sat down and had chats with you. i think this is how it should be, but it isn't many a times, unfortunately. the trust and bond that you have, which, believe it or not, was fortified by this metal menace, will last much, much longer than her piercing. and yes--she is in pain eating that ravioli.
Author dropdeadlegs Posted July 18, 2007 Author Posted July 18, 2007 ruby, Thank you for the gentle reminder that I actually have it pretty good with my kid. It's really not so much about my personal opposition, I just worry that she is limiting herself with some of her choices. While the piercing craze is what I would consider prominent, I worry that many people will make judgments about her employability in the future. Judgments based solely on appearance. I suppose that really isn't my problem. I could never hate you, my dear, I'm actually very fond of you.
tanbark813 Posted July 18, 2007 Posted July 18, 2007 I just worry that she is limiting herself with some of her choices. While the piercing craze is what I would consider prominent, I worry that many people will make judgments about her employability in the future. If she goes into software development it won't make a bit of difference. We're all freaks.
Author dropdeadlegs Posted July 18, 2007 Author Posted July 18, 2007 If she goes into software development it won't make a bit of difference. We're all freaks. She is an artsy creature, so that is in her favor, but with only a high school diploma I don't know what options she will have in any area. I just don't see her blue hair and pierced face as having any opportunity as a "front door" person, like a receptionist or something. And for the record, I'm quite fond of you, too, Tanbark.
tanbark813 Posted July 18, 2007 Posted July 18, 2007 And for the record, I'm quite fond of you, too, Tanbark. Thanks, right back atcha, ddl.
anna13 Posted July 21, 2007 Posted July 21, 2007 that is tough , at 18 she can do just about anything she wants now . you know you know best for her but honestly there is nothing you can do to stop her if she wants that. other then not giving her the money to do it which i know you have mentioned. i know it is hard, but if she is doing well academically , and is doing what she needs to do , try not to worry about the facial piercing too much . I dont like them myself but i think eventually she will take it out and it wont leave too big of a scar if done correctly. maybe expalin to her how it may affect her future when it comes to job positions ect .. if that doesnt work i would just let it go , since you are helpless in this situation she will just have to learn her own lessons.
alphamale Posted July 21, 2007 Posted July 21, 2007 If she goes into software development it won't make a bit of difference. We're all freaks. I dont' know ab0ut that....at the large companies the IT personnel are pretty conservative. IBM or Oracle ain't gonna hire you if you have visible tattoos and facial piercings. I've been in the field for almost 20 yrs and i've been around.
tanbark813 Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 I dont' know ab0ut that....at the large companies the IT personnel are pretty conservative. IBM or Oracle ain't gonna hire you if you have visible tattoos and facial piercings. I've been in the field for almost 20 yrs and i've been around. I could see IBM being more conservative, but I don't know about all large companies. I've only worked for small start-ups with the exception of Accenture and they didn't have a problem with the piercings. Although they also treat their employees (or as they like to call them, "resources") like shyt so that may not be a good example. But you have pointed out on a number of occasions that the SF Bay Area is not like the rest of the country. The corporate dress code may be more conservative in your neck of the woods than out here.
melodymatters Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 Lousiana Vs San fran, Ya think ??? Love ya, DDL, hope you are BETTER than ever !!!
tanbark813 Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 Lousiana Vs San fran, Ya think ??? ALPHA is in Detroit, mel-dawg.
ruby_gloom Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 ddl and her daughter are the ones who live in LA, if i remember correctly. given that, i agree that it might be significantly more difficult to get a good job in states that are more, uh, conservative, than in states like CA, where, well . . . it may be more difficult, but not impossible.
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