stoopid Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 Hello! I am new here this is my first post...well too make a long story short I was with my ex-girlfriend for 3 years and we lived together. Well in september we had a big fight and I made a big decision really quick by kicking her out and sending her back to her parents. It wasnt working out living together seemed like we were at each others throats for 3 months.I still wanted to date her and not live together for the time being so we could get a little space from each other. A month down the road she breaks it off with me and said she felt we were drifting away plus her mother despises me for kicking her out and made sure she got all her stuff from my house so we would have no ties. Its hard to beleiev a 25 year old would not be able to make her own decisions and her mother and father treat her like garbage! Two weeks after she finally broke it off with me she met a guy from work and visited him and had sex!figures!Well seems all hewr focus has been on this guy since december.He seems to just string her along and says he's not looking for a relationship and has her comes visit once in a blue moon. She tries to call him and aot of times he doesnt pick up or he keeps it really short and says he's not much of a talker.Why is she still after him??she tells me these things because she calls me almost daily,the reason why she tells me is i once was just acting like a friend to get whats really goin on.She never brings him up now because she knows i hate to hear about this guy and she respects it. She is still stuck on what her mother once said to her after we broke up. "You'll never be together as long as i'm alive." and "Once they kick you out,you never go back cuz they'll just do it again." Her mother now says you'd be stupid to go back with him,it would be a disaster. She says she feels like she is programmed by her mother now.Will she ever go against her mothers words? I said why are you putting yourself up with these games from this other dude u see once in awhile?she said what do u want me to do,i cant have you ...my parents hate you! arghhhhhh They hate me?but they cant rememebr the fact that i finished raising their daughter for the past three years? She calls me all the time and says she doesnt wanna lose me especially when i said im just gonna walk away from everything and she balled out crying and said she should kill herself.She said her life is going in a downward spiral and thinks she'll be alone forever,but she wont be if she has me wow! If everythinbg is that bad why wouldnt she come back? Should i keep accepting her calls or what,i feel bad if i dont answer because of the situation i put her in by sending her back to her parents,the place she did not wanna go back to,thats the reason why she moved in with me,cuz her parents treat her like ****
Author stoopid Posted May 10, 2007 Author Posted May 10, 2007 can anyone offer some suggestions?I would love to get her back but I just dont know how and what will work..... I keep getting sucked in when i back off from her she acts really nice to me.....then i get close then i have to start over... I did no contact for 2 weeks in febuary and broke it like an idiot.. We got into an argument about petty stuff like i called her and she said she was talking to that dude and she didnt click over but then called me back I told her i guess i should walk away and we should keep our distance and she started crying and said she wanted to kill herself!what the.... run for the hills or what?
hardcase Posted May 10, 2007 Posted May 10, 2007 She tries to call him and aot of times he doesnt pick up or he keeps it really short and says he's not much of a talker.Why is she still after him??she tells me these things because she calls me almost daily,the reason why she tells me is i once was just acting like a friend to get whats really goin on.She never brings him up now because she knows i hate to hear about this guy and she respects it. Sounds like she is stringing you along as her backup plan in case the jerk she messed around with goes complete NC with her. Don't let it happen. She calls me all the time and says she doesnt wanna lose me especially when i said im just gonna walk away from everything and she balled out crying and said she should kill herself. Sorry to say, that isn't your problem and it sounds like drama to me. What happened was, she broke it off, she got out there and got her rocks off with another guy...the other guy wants nothing to do with her now, so she thinks she can keep you emotionally close in case things don't work out. She is using you. If everythinbg is that bad why wouldnt she come back? Because she is still wanting this other guy or other guys in general and she isn't ready to forsake hopping in other guys beds until she knows coming back to you is an absolute last resort. Should i keep accepting her calls or what NO!!
Author stoopid Posted May 10, 2007 Author Posted May 10, 2007 Because she is still wanting this other guy or other guys in general and she isn't ready to forsake hopping in other guys beds until she knows coming back to you is an absolute last resort. so she is seeing if this guy doesnt work out she would wanna come back to me? So no contact? I think she is afraid of losing me forever but it just might happen if she doesnt get her head out of her ass!
hardcase Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 so she is seeing if this guy doesnt work out she would wanna come back to me? So no contact? I think she is afraid of losing me forever but it just might happen if she doesnt get her head out of her ass! I say no contact because this is a girl that is only stringing you along if she figures out she can't find anyone else. Hence, you are the last resort. But if you don't care and want to be with her even if you are her last resort....its your call man. I wouldn't play 2nd fiddle to anyone. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you.
Yamaha Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 Distance yourself from her and go NC. She seems unstable and you need to get out of her life and on with your own.
Author stoopid Posted May 11, 2007 Author Posted May 11, 2007 yes she is very unstable!!she agrees with being an emotional wreck,between her mother despising me for throwing her out and telling her to find someone else,and she is the type of person that will listen to her mother but she calls so often that i think its hard fopr her to let go She had a pretty sheltered childhood living on base in different countries and her parents really never gave her much attention and never raised her properly. All her focus is on this guy she slept with 3 weeks after breaking up with me,but i did kick her out a month before she dumped me.I just wanted to date and not live with each ither because i felt i was more of her dad then boyfriend.She is 25 I am 31. Now all of her focus has been on this new guy that she wants to date i know this but he seems he just wants to have sex with her. So no contact would be the best option and show her i am happy without her.I'd love to work things out but i guess i been trying to hard to get her back. I dont think she knows what life would be like without me cuz we have stayed in touch since the breakup and i mean we would talk for hours on the phone just about every other day. So she is getting the emotional support from me while she is trying to sweep this new guy into wanting her to be exclusive?THATS NO FAIR! So taking away her crutch would be the wise thing to do,she may go crazy?
Author stoopid Posted May 11, 2007 Author Posted May 11, 2007 and what really bugs me is i have gave her many second chances throughout our 3 years.One of them was she was getting in touch with other guys about possibly having sex i knew something was up in my gut so i checked her email she begged and pleaded to forgive her and said she needed cousleing but couldnt afford it and i forgave her She cant give me one damn second chance after all the chances i gave her! she may never get any relationship right with anyone i guess!
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