Guest Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 I must say that coming to this website has definitely been an eye opener for me. I must have spent countless hours reading each post over the past few days. My story is long but i will break it down. Basically after 6-7 months of being the OW and trying to break it off 3-4 times, the other day was my breaking point. He has been married over 10 years, 3 kids, perfect job and stay at home wife who does everything for him and from a picture i saw is beautiful. How i got so far and so deep, i don't know, once the essence of love gets into the mix, it's hard to walk away. Each time i tried to break it off, we founfdeach other once again talking just a day or two later, saying that we couldn't not talk, it was to hard, we were in love with each other. Unfortunately over the past couple of weeks i have had some pretty trying times, death in the family, other family member ill, and compromising work situations. when it rains, it pours. all of these things basically made me tak a step back and re-evaluate my life. i realized that over the past 6-7 months i truly lost who i was and it was time to "find" myself again. With all these things surrounding my life the MM threw more into the mix. saying his W had the phone bill and basically it was me or his family. i could tell something happend because he became more distant and calling me from landlines at work. basically his strategy was to tell his W that he wsn't talking to me anymore and that they would work on things. while he told me that he wasn't really trying to work on things, he loved her because she was the mother of his kids but he was in love with me and we would still talk but he was going to lie and say we weren't. im sorry, i am not an innocent victim in this situation and i take responsibilty for my actions but i told him a while ago that the moment he says he's gonna tell her he's working on things, im gone cause that is not fair to her, none of this was fair to her. so i had him coming over the other day thinking we were going to spend time together (alone) at my house.... he came over, told him i was done, no calls, text or emails and that all the stuff i had of his was out in the front yard. i will not settle for being second best and this whole experience has taught me that i am capable of love...... just not with him! but of course i got an email from him just a few hours later, showing his maturity and he got no response. but trust me, i battled in my head for so long as to whether i could accept being the other woman and my heart basically gave me all the answers i needed.
overandout Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 I must say that coming to this website has definitely been an eye opener for me. I must have spent countless hours reading each post over the past few days. My story is long but i will break it down. Basically after 6-7 months of being the OW and trying to break it off 3-4 times, the other day was my breaking point. He has been married over 10 years, 3 kids, perfect job and stay at home wife who does everything for him and from a picture i saw is beautiful. How i got so far and so deep, i don't know, once the essence of love gets into the mix, it's hard to walk away. Each time i tried to break it off, we founfdeach other once again talking just a day or two later, saying that we couldn't not talk, it was to hard, we were in love with each other. Unfortunately over the past couple of weeks i have had some pretty trying times, death in the family, other family member ill, and compromising work situations. when it rains, it pours. all of these things basically made me tak a step back and re-evaluate my life. i realized that over the past 6-7 months i truly lost who i was and it was time to "find" myself again. With all these things surrounding my life the MM threw more into the mix. saying his W had the phone bill and basically it was me or his family. i could tell something happend because he became more distant and calling me from landlines at work. basically his strategy was to tell his W that he wsn't talking to me anymore and that they would work on things. while he told me that he wasn't really trying to work on things, he loved her because she was the mother of his kids but he was in love with me and we would still talk but he was going to lie and say we weren't. im sorry, i am not an innocent victim in this situation and i take responsibilty for my actions but i told him a while ago that the moment he says he's gonna tell her he's working on things, im gone cause that is not fair to her, none of this was fair to her. so i had him coming over the other day thinking we were going to spend time together (alone) at my house.... he came over, told him i was done, no calls, text or emails and that all the stuff i had of his was out in the front yard. i will not settle for being second best and this whole experience has taught me that i am capable of love...... just not with him! but of course i got an email from him just a few hours later, showing his maturity and he got no response. but trust me, i battled in my head for so long as to whether i could accept being the other woman and my heart basically gave me all the answers i needed. Well done Guest for realising you are worth more than being at his beck and call. Who wants crumbs which is all you were getting. I know it's hard, but you know when you have had enough and you have reached your tolerance limit. He has already tried to reel you back in, but if you stay strong and block the channels of communication it will help. I know it does your ego good, to know that he isn's just going to let you walk without putting up a bit of a show. But that is all it is. A SHOW. It is a knee jerk reaction to losing someone he has taken for granted. Stay strong and if he really wants and loves you he will find a way to be with you. It may take months but if that doesn't happen, you will be moving on anyway, with your self respect in tact. Don't cave or he won't take you seriously, and you will allow him to treat you as his side dish.
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