gamergeek10 Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 Hi, first post so I apologize in advance for the length. I've been broken up with my girlfriend of almost 3 years for about three months now. I still have very strong feelings for her and I don't know what to do anymore. She is currently dating someone else but this guy just left for officer college in florida. He won't be back for some time. Now i'm starting to get ideas in my head about getting back together even though I know its not a realistic possibility. Me and my ex just started talking again since the breakup. I'm miserable and I don't know how to get over her. Luckily the semester is over and I can hangout with my friends more. Any advice would be greatly appreciated and if anyone wants more information about the situation please feel free to ask.
hurting_in_nw Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 She's moved on...you should do the same or you're just going to be punishing yourself and wasting time for nothing.
randuff Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 Me and my ex just started talking again since the breakup. I'm miserable and I don't know how to get over her. That's not helping. You cannot be in contact with her if you want to get over her. I am only on day 3 of NC but I can assure you if I were to talk to my ex then I would really be screwing with my emotions. She has apparently moved on and you need to do the same. If she wants you back you will know this, but by talking to her and hoping that the 2 of you will get back together is going to do nothing but prolong the hurt and anguish. Do yourself a favor and try not to call or contact her in any way, shape or form.
KittenMoon Posted May 10, 2007 Posted May 10, 2007 Three months broken up after three years together is NOT a long time, so don't beat yourself up for not being over it yet. It's been well over a year for me (after a 6.5 yr relationship) and I'm only beginning to feel like I'm even remotely getting close to "over it". Allow yourself more time to cope- if you try to avoid your pain you'll often only prolong it.
oppath Posted May 10, 2007 Posted May 10, 2007 It takes time. I only dated a girl 5.5 months, and 4 months later, I'm still not over it. I have not moved on, I am moving on. It's a process. I do not want her back. I'm ready to date casually. I'm just not ready to open my heart. What matters most is the intensity of feelings. Some people date someone for 1 month and it takes a year to get over. There is no time table. What matters is what you do with your time. Find 3 passions: take a painting class, learn how to sail, and volunteer to tutor at the library. Get yourself out of the house 3 times a week NOT HANGING OUT WITH FRIENDS. Do new things where you can meet new people, not to date, but just to meet and better yourself. See a therapist if you are too down and it impacts your life. Have some compassion for yourself. If you loved someone, it takes time to be fully over them. She doesn't matter. You are not in competition with her to have moved on.
Author gamergeek10 Posted May 10, 2007 Author Posted May 10, 2007 Thanks a lot everyone. I'm a thinker when it comes to stuff like this so all your replies have given me stuff to think about. It's nice to know that after three months its still ok to be getting over all of this. As I said in my first post if anyone wants any more detailed information just leave a few questions and i'll do my best to answer.
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