fray718 Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 I feel like we're exclusive but the thought of not knowing for sure is driving me nuts and I know some people say I should date others while its still not exclusive but I cant' just get myself to do it. Thought of kissing anyone else will make me feel like I'm doing wrong to this guy. My instincts tell me he is not seeing anyone else (hope I'm not wrong). We've been dating for a month now. How bad is it you think just to ask him casually with a smile for example "So what do you think of the idea of 2 people dating each other exclusively?" and if I get a positive response then say "Do you see yourself dating someone exclusively right now?" What do you all think? Will that be okay? This guy is the nice guy type and while he is not shy he seems to be afraid to admit or show his feelings at times because of pride.
Guest Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 I just say "you know you arent allowed to date anyone else, right?" with a big smile and in a playful kinda way. They get the idea and I dont come off as posessive or whatever it may be
Star Gazer Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 Aw hun, even your thread title reflects your fear! Don't be afraid! Your suggested approach is much, much too passive - and you're asking in a rhetorical sense. If you want to be exclusive, you really should him that instead of beating around the bush. If he's prideful like you say and shy in expressing his emotions, the only way you're going to become exclusive is if you bring it up. Say flatly (white lie involved), "Hey, so this guy asked me out the other day, and I didn't really know what to say. I mean, we haven't established that we're exclusive yet, but I didn't really want to go out with him either because I really only want to date you - exclusively. What do you think?" Ta-da!
Author fray718 Posted May 9, 2007 Author Posted May 9, 2007 Aw hun, even your thread title reflects your fear! Don't be afraid! Your suggested approach is much, much too passive - and you're asking in a rhetorical sense. If you want to be exclusive, you really should him that instead of beating around the bush. If he's prideful like you say and shy in expressing his emotions, the only way you're going to become exclusive is if you bring it up. Say flatly (white lie involved), "Hey, so this guy asked me out the other day, and I didn't really know what to say. I mean, we haven't established that we're exclusive yet, but I didn't really want to go out with him either because I really only want to date you - exclusively. What do you think?" Ta-da! Oh wow u are a genius! And funny thing is, a guy DID ask for my number on saturday and he called me last night but i was busy so i told him i'll have to give him a call back tonight (so not even a white lie involved lol). I went out with this guy im currently dating (let's call him W) on monday night and he hasnt IMed me yet (we normally communicate via IM)...so since i have to get back to this other guy tonight...Im thinking if W does not IM me by 11pm tonight then I will IM him just to ask him. Is that ok? Or should I wait for him to IM me first...but that also means I will have to put off this other guy (which I also like too). But yea for now I like W the most. Or maybe I should just IM him earlier like at 9pm so it doesnt seem like Im so obviously WAITING for him to IM me...i think he's the type who likes girls to initiatve at times too.....
Star Gazer Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 I wouldn't have the "exclusivity talk" in the written form - be it email, IM, or text. Voices are necessary - so at the very least, talk about this on the phone...if not in person.
Author fray718 Posted May 9, 2007 Author Posted May 9, 2007 I wouldn't have the "exclusivity talk" in the written form - be it email, IM, or text. Voices are necessary - so at the very least, talk about this on the phone...if not in person. Good point! I'll call him tonight then!
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 I feel like we're exclusive but the thought of not knowing for sure is driving me nuts and I know some people say I should date others while its still not exclusive but I cant' just get myself to do it. Thought of kissing anyone else will make me feel like I'm doing wrong to this guy. My instincts tell me he is not seeing anyone else (hope I'm not wrong). We've been dating for a month now. How bad is it you think just to ask him casually with a smile for example "So what do you think of the idea of 2 people dating each other exclusively?" and if I get a positive response then say "Do you see yourself dating someone exclusively right now?" What do you all think? Will that be okay? This guy is the nice guy type and while he is not shy he seems to be afraid to admit or show his feelings at times because of pride. LMAO!!! good lord just ask him. Stop being around the bush, if you've fallen in love with him tell him lightly. Then ask him to make what you guys do permenant. Read his body language study every tick and nerve in his face. And also it's either a yes or a no. And remind him that you will put all men to the backburner and he should put all females back there too. It isnt hard, it's simple. Go and get your man! lol.
Author fray718 Posted May 9, 2007 Author Posted May 9, 2007 haha ok everyone is backing me up to ask him directly...so I will ask tonight! lol....so if he says yes then woo hoo....but just in case he says no, then ofcourse I will be sad but not that devasted. I'll just be like 'ok, thats fine' then go out with the other guy and if W still asks me out afterward i'll just say I'm busy until he feels jealous and wants me to himself! lol ok ok enough obsessing...i'm kinda nervous rite now...wish me luck tonight!
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