SpiderLilly Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 Okay, basically I hung out with an acquaintance one weekend and we had an amazing time. We've always clicked anyway, and after spending a little time together we click even more than we realized. Neither of us is looking for a relationship, but I'm thinking that we'd click in areas other than friendship--and it doesn't hurt that I find him extremely attractive. Plus, there was a lot of that wonderful flirty-touching business going on the other weekend. But here's the thing: he's the type of guy that women throw themselves at, and that's not at all my style...but at the same time, I hate to think this guy is so clueless as to not realize what I'm after without throwing myself at him, but sometimes you never know. Also, I'm five years older than he is, which isn't a really big deal to me or him, so I don't know that it's really affecting the situation. So, is he clueless or playing hard to get...and if he's playing hard to get, how do I get him without going too far?
sweetbutcheeky Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 How long ago did you connect and have you heard from him since or make any effort to talk to him?
Author SpiderLilly Posted May 9, 2007 Author Posted May 9, 2007 It's been about a month ago, and we've emailed back and forth and we ran into each other once or twice. He said he had a great time and we should get together again, and I agreed, but plans have yet to be made. For some reason I'm not quite willing to come out and just say, "Hey, we have fun in many situations...I bet we'd have fun in bed, too!" Plus, I *do* require at least *some* effort on his part...I'm not just gonna fall over and say "I'm all yours!" It's just not my style...yet somehow I'm a bit preoccupied with this gentleman. He's altogether too charming.
Mustang Sally Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 Why don't you ask him out to some sort of thing (whatever that might be) that could be construed as either a friendship-type thing or a date-type thing, and then see how it goes? If it goes well, then pin him in the car on the way home (not while it's moving, of course) and...well, you know! Sounds like fun to me! If it doesn't go well, then chalk it up to "Win some, Lose some."
jcster Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 I think he's waiting for you to make a move. He might be unsure of where he stands with you, especially since neither one of you are looking for a relationship, and he might not know what you want. A talk might be in order - over oysters?
Teddy and Jane Posted May 10, 2007 Posted May 10, 2007 I'm sorry, but I think he's playing "I'm just not that into you." If he were wanting more than what there is now, you'd know. Get that book!!!
Author SpiderLilly Posted May 10, 2007 Author Posted May 10, 2007 Egads...I can't handle the oysters! But I most certainly get the idea. I just emailed him a minute ago and mentioned that we oughta get together sometime soon. Now I just have to wait on a reply. I HATE this part! And I agree that the car should be stopped when I pin him...even if I can't control myself and have to pull the car off the road. I'm amazed I managed to control myself the weekend we hung out...but I find that for me personally there's a thin line between "red hot woman" and "hobag." Attacking him would've been a little more forward than I generally am...at least at this stage of the game. Last time a guy played hard to get with me I bit him. I just couldn't take it anymore! It definitely worked to my advantage, though!
Author SpiderLilly Posted May 10, 2007 Author Posted May 10, 2007 I'm sorry, but I think he's playing "I'm just not that into you." If he were wanting more than what there is now, you'd know. Get that book!!! LOL...don't know if I'm quite ready for that book yet, but I'll keep it in mind just in case something like this happens again. Naturally, I hope you're wrong, but I appreciate your perspective!
Kamille Posted May 10, 2007 Posted May 10, 2007 I think the 'not into you' philosophy becomes relevant once one of the partners is getting hurt by the other person's action. Else how would we get to meet and know anyone if we just expected them to be 100% into us before even going out on a date. At this point, I think you're at the level of fun and intrigue. I wish I had caught this thread before you sent the email, because it's been my experience that men respond really well not to a vague let's get together but to a: hey there's a midnight showing of the Holy Grail, you want to join me? (or whatever activity you're into that you would like to share with him). It shows that you're confident and that you have a life. Now, start thinking about an activity because since you're the one who suggested getting together, you should also be the one to suggest something you could do together. Let us know what happens.
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