noir Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 I was browsing the net and found this place. I thought I would ask for some advice. I have been dating this girl for the past two and a half months. We met off the internet (she contacted me). We talked and IMed for two months before meeting. Problem is she lives two hours away. When we first started seeing each other it started off very well. We would see each other twice a week and talk for an hour each day before going to sleep. She is conservative. She told be up front that she wanted to take things slowly. We have kissed a lot but never had sex. I didn't really get to grabby either. She contacted me because she thought she was going to be moving here soon. Things happined, mostly financial and this got delayed. Despite this we kept things going. She is moving back here. She is getting some job issues and living issues which is causing a lot of stress. Lately she has been talking a lot about how our relationship has been putting stress on her. We haven't talked my in the past two weeks. She told me that she wouldn't be able to see me as often due to money issues. Tonight the **** hit the fan. Things we going fine until all of a sudden I asked if she could call me later (she had somewhere to be soon, family) and then she started citing stress again. I said I only wanted to talk for 10 mins. Then she talked about how different we were. She said she still likes me but she used the F word. And thats F as in friend. I knew there was some turbulence but I didn't see this coming. I was floored. She was talking about my thoughts about having kids. She was expressing a lot of doubts. I am hoping this is temporary though. I am trying to keep a positive mind about this but its hard. I love her. I don't think I have said it to her in so many words. I was afraid it would scare her especially after the way things have been told lately. Does is sound like its over or am I overreacting? Well here's an update. She's moved up here. She has a job and is somewhat stable. I haven't heard any major complaints in that area. After that last episode it seemed things had gotten better especially after last week. We were still talking every night. We were even back at the kissing stage so to speak. I didn't initiate it last time either. I thought things were moving forward. Now I think I screwed up. Last Saturday we went to see a movie. I had mentioned that I wanted to see 300 for awhile and it seems like its theatre run is almost done. The new Spider Man was a thought but she hasn't seen the first two. I think some of the violence may have turned her off. To make matters worse I showed up late. There was road construction in my area and I took a wrong turn which ate up some time. Then when I got close to the area the theater was I took a wrong turn and got lost. She got the tickets and went in waiting for me to get there. I ended up arriving 30 mins late. I don't know if she thought I was lying or something. She barely said anything after the movie. She said she was tired and wanted to go home. I said ok and left. She seemed cold and distant for some reason. It's been almost 4 days and I haven't heard anything from her. I've called once or twice each day and gotten no response. Is she pushing me away again? I think if I do talk to her again she's going to just push me away again. I don't know if I can go through this again. What the hell is going on?
Poboy Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 noir , both of you have issues that need to be sorted out. firstly , are you a clingy , possesive kind of bf ... it does sound you might be demanding a lot from her and she doesnt tolerate that. have you asked her what in the relationship stresses her out in particular. the movie thing can be understood as you were late and people do have low tolerance for patience and it was a culmination to all the stuff that has happened before... when she says to take things slowly , has she had bad past experiences with previous guys. she might be having issues of that. all i can say is right now is dont contact her as you have done with no response. let her come back to you and when she does dont just go back to where you were cause its like you two are moving in a circle. sit down and sort things out about the relationship and what you two need to do to improve in it. both of you have expecations which are not being met and neither of you talks about it.
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