LoveSux Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 I don't know if everyone is aware of my story. I'm a LEGALLY still-married woman whose marriage is over in all but paper. Long story short; we're together for our child's sake. Anyway, I met and developed a gigantic crush on one of my professors. He seemed to love the attention and ego stroking. As for me, all I wanted was some attention - I'm not a home wrecker or anything, know he's married but the attention he gave me was so much re-assuring. After my husband making it clear that I was the ugliest thing on the face of the Earth, this man's attention was a salve to my wounds. Nothing happened - but flirting. LOTS of it. LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF IT. No touching, no physical contact, just verbal teasing, banter and tender glances. Until he called it off completely out of the blue a couple of weeks ago. No idea why. Obviously, I didn't pursue it - it was good while it lasted and I didn't expect anything to come of it BUT IT HURTS LIKE HELL. It feels like I've been rejected all over again. It feels like my husband's statement that I'm completely unattractive and unlovable has come true. All I need is some reassurance that this pain will eventually go away. Yes, although it was seemingly only teasing from his perspective, I did start getting some 'feelings' involved. Maybe he realized this and broke awa/ Anyway, I broke down today and he happened to see me crying but he just ignored me. Geez, I feel so good now. .
lonelybird Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 *crush* or *chemistry* will pass soon, but I worry about the ego stroke thing. Attention will stroke our ego, lack of attention can beat down and trample ego flat? You put yourself in a destructive position. How can others comment about you define you?! who define your value? you didn't look those men as idols and your gods?
LoveisPAIN07 Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 In my experience, I've found that basing your worth on another person's attention is a recipe for disaster. I used to do this all the time and my heart never failed to get trampled on once this attention stopped. To me, it was a sign that I needed to start having more respect for myself and accepting attention from myself rather than expecting it from other people. It sounds like you're going through a really hard time and I wish you the best. I think once you start getting more self respect (and I don't mean that in a bad way), you'll start to feel better.
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