oppath Posted May 8, 2007 Posted May 8, 2007 I wasn't stalking my ex in any way, I was checking out some of my friends pages and it led me somewhere. Crap. My ex left a comment that was stolen from a letter I sent her just after the breakup. Actually, she contacted me asking me to be friends with benefits 1.5 weeks after she dumped me. I crassly told her "when you broke up with me, you broke up with my cock. I'm not going to whore myself out to you. We both know I deserve better." Her response was "I was just joking." From memory, I remember replying "You don't have a right to joke with my emotions. Asking for friends with benefits so soon is cruel. What the ****? I had feelings for you, you didn't reciprocate them, I got hurt. You know this. It wasn't about sex for me, it was so much more. You weren't on a pedestal, I placed you on a podium beside me as my equal, someone I wanted a relationship with." Well, she left a comment "Your not on a pedestal, I place you on a podium beside me as me equal. HAHAHA!" God I feel embarrassed. From now on I'll use PHONEs to ream someone out if I give them any reaction. She has no idea the damage she did to me. To her, the breakup was no big deal. So when I flipped out about the above, and the fact that her ex proposed to her just before the breakup, I was psycho. She couldn't fathom it. I couldn't fathom how someone who said they loved me could care about me so little and according to my values, cheat. Many mutual friends have been lost over this.
LoveisPAIN07 Posted May 8, 2007 Posted May 8, 2007 I'm sorry to hear about your situation, oppath. I used to have MySpace and deleted it awhile ago because I was tired of looking at peoples' profiles whom I should't be looking at and having certain people in my life have the ability to see what I was doing when I just wanted to dissapear from their life. In my experience, MySpace seems to encourage immaturity and brings out immaturity in everyone. You can look at your Ex's profiles, you can see who they're dating, they or you can leave nasty comments, people can report to you what's going on with your ex because they looked at their MySpace. It's just a mess, sometimes. The FWB comment that she gave you is completely ****ty. Even if she was "just joking" that's just cruel and inane.
Author oppath Posted May 9, 2007 Author Posted May 9, 2007 Well, I agree asking an ex to be friends with benefits so soon is cruel and insane, especially in the context of "please give me some space right now; maybe in a couple months we could be friends". "I understand. But would you be willing to be friends with benefits?" Who knows her reasons. Maybe she thought it would help me. I don't know. What matters is I found it rude, and I think most people in that situation would go off the on person asking. She should have recognized "oh ****. I must have really hurt this guy if he's responding this way." The only way to save face is an apology. Looking back, I would not have dignified her with a response at all. I would have had her come over, give me a blowjob under the guise that I would then return the favor, but kick her out as soon as I was done. Myspace is HORRIBLE for relationships. I actually told her before she left my house after dumping me that I was going to delete her as a friend. She was like, "why?" Because I don't want to see comments from some guy I don't know who may or may not be someone you are dating. "That's kind of sily." No, it's to protect myself until I heal.
LoveisPAIN07 Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 You're right. Your ex certainly didn't even deserve a response. She sounds really cold hearted. This is why I'm never getting a MySpace again. I know that it's not the web-site and that it's the people using the web-site that create problems, but I think there are certain factors that bring out immaturity in people. In my experience, MySpace is one of those factors. Like you, when I had MS I deleted someone I was having problems with from my friends list. This person had screwed me over. I was then told that I was being really immature for doing that, but really I was trying to shield my feelings. Ugh, I'm just glad to be through with that web-site.
Author oppath Posted May 9, 2007 Author Posted May 9, 2007 With my ex, it certainly wasn't immature. She thought it was. I'm a big believer in doing things like dropping people from friends lists, setting your computer to block access to your ex's blog so you can't check, even the notorious AIM buddy lists. In my case, I told her what I was going to do and explained why. I told her that a few months down the road, it could change.
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