LucasSoLost Posted May 8, 2007 Posted May 8, 2007 what are ways to get your ex back? how did you do it?
2ndIINone Posted May 10, 2007 Posted May 10, 2007 first and foremost.... stop sweatin' her. Then stop listening to sappy love songs like James Blunt... "You're beautiful" and Daniel Powder's "Had a bad day"... cause those guys are typical 'Marys' that deserved to lose their girls. After that... avoid your ex in every aspect of the word. Get a hobby, join a gym...find a girlfriend. Don't answer your ex's calls, emails or texts. Run as far away in the opposite direction as possible. Don't even think about drunk texting or call your ex. Let her think you fell off the face of earth. Change your cell number... addresses... email addy's. Block IM's... .delete your myspace... (Im sure you have one, sure she's lookin') Now, if you want to push her away.... tell her you love her, miss her... need her. Frequent calls and texts are always good. Roses to say "I'm sorry" are GREAT at pushing an ex away. Hey, maybe even drive past her house a few times during the weeks.... all these work pretty well in pushing ex's away. Follow me??? What you think WOULD work... actually works against you... therefore .... do the complete opposite of what you THINK is right. 3-4 months... you'll get a phone call. THEN you can answer it.
agnf666 Posted May 10, 2007 Posted May 10, 2007 Those are all great ones... Damn I need to follow some of them... Unfortuantly... I spend most of my job online so I couldn't go completely missing... NC is usually good punishment most times... Then you get the ones that cheat on you or do something nasty but they still want to talk to you for some reason after they screwed you over. It is kinda wierd.
2ndIINone Posted May 10, 2007 Posted May 10, 2007 I've always found that it's the ex's that completely blindsided the dumpee that usually come callin' months later. Ya know, the ones that left for no reason or unexplained. Cheaters, liars, thought the grass was greener... scared of commitment type drama queens and kings. Dumpees pursue, whine, pine and cry... dumpers laugh and get a big head. Then eventually the dumpee gives up, moves on, goes on his/her first date and BAM! the phone rings... "Can we talk????" BLAH! No time for those... I sometimes... intentionally send these ex's texts and messages just to keep them away... surprisingly enough.... it works. For experience has taught me well... that if I didn't, then the calls would start coming in heavily. Don't need the added drama.
New Hope Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 2ndIINone u gonna leave me with no opinions to say on this matter...LucasSoLost, listen to 2ndIInone...but listen guy, just focus on yourself..go into no contact, date other people keep it light, what she does is none of your business!!!...ill leave u with some advice..focus on No Contact for now!
CaliGuy Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 what are ways to get your ex back? how did you do it? There are none. You can not make someone love you, you can not change their mind about you. The absolute best way to handle a breakup is to get your life back in order. Making yourself happy should be a priority. That means you let go of the past, of things you can not control and live your life. The more you focus on getting someone back, the less likely it is to happen. The sooner you move on with your life and meet someone new (once you have recovered from the breakup fully) the more likely an ex will make an appearance in your life. They always seem to be able to smell when you're over them.
amaysngrace Posted May 13, 2007 Posted May 13, 2007 The best way to get your ex back is to let them go.
CaliGuy Posted May 13, 2007 Posted May 13, 2007 The best way to get your ex back is to let them go. It could also be said "The best way to get YOURSELF back is to let them go." PS: Invisible Touch: True, but that could also be a blessing in disguise
Carbine Posted May 13, 2007 Posted May 13, 2007 Then stop listening to sappy love songs like James Blunt... "You're beautiful" and Daniel Powder's "Had a bad day"... cause those guys are typical 'Marys' that deserved to lose their girls ROTFLMAO!!! Couldn't agree more. I think that JB song was music's absolute low point. Either that or when Dido got popular. Now, if you want to push her away.... tell her you love her, miss her... need her. Frequent calls and texts are always good. Roses to say "I'm sorry" are GREAT at pushing an ex away. Hey, maybe even drive past her house a few times during the weeks.... all these work pretty well in pushing ex's away. Follow me??? What you think WOULD work... actually works against you... therefore .... do the complete opposite of what you THINK is right. 3-4 months... you'll get a phone call. THEN you can answer it. Wish you could explain the rest. I'm in the same boat, i'd do anything to get my ex bf back but don't really understand why the above suggestions are meant to work.
AriaIncognito Posted May 13, 2007 Posted May 13, 2007 There are none. You can not make someone love you, you can not change their mind about you. They always seem to be able to smell when you're over them. This is definitely true. When they start believing you are out having fun, living life, moving on, they definitely can start to have feelings of missing you or even wanting you back. Unfortunately, they are usually the same person that dumped you/you left for the same reasons which make it impossible to reunite. I think a decent amount of time needs to pass before a second chance can actually have a shot. I've had second chances with the last 2 men I was with, and well, each ended. Each second chance was within a month or two of breaking up. In that time, well basically nothing changed about the problem causing the break up. Same goes for my current situation. My ex might miss me, but there's no way he's come around from his non-commital ways in a months time. So, I continue to try to move forward. Damn hard, mind you, but it's what we've all gotta do. Have to try to trust fate a little here. If it's meant to be, it will be. Just might not be on our time tables. Who wants to sit around being miserable waiting for something that might never come?
amaysngrace Posted May 13, 2007 Posted May 13, 2007 I really think it depends on who broke up with who and for what reason?
sb129 Posted May 13, 2007 Posted May 13, 2007 There are none. You can not make someone love you, you can not change their mind about you. The absolute best way to handle a breakup is to get your life back in order. Making yourself happy should be a priority. That means you let go of the past, of things you can not control and live your life. The more you focus on getting someone back, the less likely it is to happen. The sooner you move on with your life and meet someone new (once you have recovered from the breakup fully) the more likely an ex will make an appearance in your life. They always seem to be able to smell when you're over them. It could also be said "The best way to get YOURSELF back is to let them go." Great posts CaliGuy
Trialbyfire Posted May 13, 2007 Posted May 13, 2007 Life isn't always as simple as using a rule of "The dumper must always chase the dumpee who goes NC". Many times there are valid reasons why someone can't continue with a relationship. Also, the person who's been dumped should always look at what the reasons are and be honest enough to say, "yes, this is valid so I need to change" or "no, this is invalid, here's why and btw, here are the changes you need to make before I would ever consider taking you back" or "no, this is invalid, I've had enough of this parasitic relationship, I'm tired of your b/s, I'm going NC", etc, etc. If enough self-honesty and honesty is evident from the dumper and the dumpee, there's no reason why the dumpee should always revert to NC. Many times it's simply a power play which keeps two people in love with issues which aren't insurmountable, apart. Judge your issues and situation clearly, before entering into any definitive actions.
amaysngrace Posted May 13, 2007 Posted May 13, 2007 Life isn't always as simple as using a rule of "The dumper must always chase the dumpee who goes NC". Many times there are valid reasons why someone can't continue with a relationship. Also, the person who's been dumped should always look at what the reasons are and be honest enough to say, "yes, this is valid so I need to change" or "no, this is invalid, here's why and btw, here are the changes you need to make before I would ever consider taking you back" or "no, this is invalid, I've had enough of this parasitic relationship, I'm tired of your b/s, I'm going NC", etc, etc. If enough self-honesty and honesty is evident from the dumper and the dumpee, there's no reason why the dumpee should always revert to NC. Many times it's simply a power play which keeps two people in love with issues which aren't insurmountable, apart. Judge your issues and situation clearly, before entering into any definitive actions. This is a great post! This is what I would say too. But instead I said 'it depends on who broke up with who and for what reason'. But it's really what I meant to say if I could have articulated it the way you did Trial By Fire.
2ndIINone Posted May 13, 2007 Posted May 13, 2007 PS - None of the above got their ex's back! *ahem* don't be so sure. getting em' back is the easy part.... deciding whether or not you 'should' have/want them back is the real problem. The orginal question.... "Ways to get em' back" answer is simple... move on without them... weeks, months, years.... it'll happen, but it won't work out in the end.
Curmudgeon Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 Very simply, it makes you appear needy and clingy and that can be a real turn-off.
Trialbyfire Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 This is a great post! This is what I would say too. But instead I said 'it depends on who broke up with who and for what reason'. But it's really what I meant to say if I could have articulated it the way you did Trial By Fire. Thanks amg. It sounds like you're also not a purist for NC. It really depends on the individuals and the situation.
New Hope Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 for InvisibleTouch vbmenu_register("postmenu_1188371", true); yeah I did get my EX Back so I know what im talking about.......................
Author LucasSoLost Posted May 14, 2007 Author Posted May 14, 2007 2ndIINone u gonna leave me with no opinions to say on this matter...LucasSoLost, listen to 2ndIInone...but listen guy, just focus on yourself..go into no contact, date other people keep it light, what she does is none of your business!!!...ill leave u with some advice..focus on No Contact for now! thanks very much. thats simple advice i hope i can do it seeing how sometimes she just calls me or texts me. its really hard not to answer or not to respond. its weird shes doing things to make me jealous sometimes to. she also told me i might get back with my ex bf whom i hate and she told me she would never go back. is this another act to make me jealous or is she for real.
Author LucasSoLost Posted May 14, 2007 Author Posted May 14, 2007 what are ways to get your ex back? how did you do it? This is my 1st thread ever on loveshack and i got to say i love it. Thanks everyone for the gread advice.
Author LucasSoLost Posted May 14, 2007 Author Posted May 14, 2007 what are ways to get your ex back? how did you do it? this was my 1st thread on loveshack and i must say everyones very helplful. thanks everyone for the great advice!!!
Author LucasSoLost Posted May 14, 2007 Author Posted May 14, 2007 i have another question. Everytime i dont talk to her for just a day or 2 she calls or texts and asks me how i been. i tell her things like o great and she says like o what did u do. ill say what i did. went surfing, learned cpr in school, went to some party just normal things. but for some reason she gets kinda mad and is like o ur having fun without me cool. she says well u dont miss me much you went right along with your life. then i said why did u wanna get back together or something and she said no. so then i said thennn? then she got mad and just said w/e. i have also noticed another thing with her the more attention i give her i think she likes me more llike if i dont give her enough attention she doesnt seem much intrested she just seems mad.
CaliGuy Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 Life isn't always as simple as using a rule of "The dumper must always chase the dumpee who goes NC". Many times there are valid reasons why someone can't continue with a relationship. Also, the person who's been dumped should always look at what the reasons are and be honest enough to say, "yes, this is valid so I need to change" or "no, this is invalid, here's why and btw, here are the changes you need to make before I would ever consider taking you back" or "no, this is invalid, I've had enough of this parasitic relationship, I'm tired of your b/s, I'm going NC", etc, etc. If enough self-honesty and honesty is evident from the dumper and the dumpee, there's no reason why the dumpee should always revert to NC. Many times it's simply a power play which keeps two people in love with issues which aren't insurmountable, apart. Judge your issues and situation clearly, before entering into any definitive actions. Here's my 2 cents on this whole issue. If your ex dumped you because they fell out of love with you, then you can choose to go NC or not, either way, it won't matter much. I think you can make it a lot worse by chasing, begging, pleading, etc (especially if they are involved with someone else). But really what you should be doing is at least some form of NC to get yourself back into shape. NC is not and should not be viewed as punishing your ex. That may be a by product of it but it isn't the reason for it. The reason is to get yourself fixed. The reason is for yourself, not for them. If your ex dumped you because they felt unloved or unappreciated, your odds of getting back together are a lot better as long as you do a self-evaluation and figure things out. If an ex is still in love with you then you stand an excellent change of reconcilliation. The problem with NC is when it's not used for what it was intended for and that is for healing yourself. If you know that maintaining contact with your ex is not good for you, CUT THEM OFF. Go strict NC until you feel that you can handle a conversation with them without breaking down, begging, pleading, etc. NC isn't about playing games (ie: manipulation, punishment, etc). It's about healing and nothing more.
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