EnigmasMuse Posted May 8, 2007 Posted May 8, 2007 OK so I'm seeing a counselor and have been for awhile now about unresolved issues from my past. Seems like things are going well, and the cousnelor seems very helpful. However something I noticed. He sure does like to toot his own horn alot. Now don't get me wrong hes really nice and helpful, but he just seems a bit conceited, but says he is humble. I can see him being humble, but conceited too, LOL. Anyway, these are some statements to me that seem odd for a counselor to say, do you think they are odd? I mean I believe is self confidence but sheesh! One thing he said not long ago was, we were on the subject of how people who sometimes don't listen don't get helped. He wasn't referring to me really just in general, anyway he says; "I am convinced, if people listened to the advice I give them, the world would be a better place. I bet if people came to see me the world might would be better off." Ok then. One other thing he has said; "I was blessed with the ability to connect with many people on different levels." He seems to be more impressed with the fact he can connect with women. Another thing he said, and I forget how we were on the subject exactly but something along the lines of, men not doing their job in the marriage. Yes it can pertain to women as well, but we were ont he subject about men at the time, not doing what they needed or should do a in a marriage. Anyway he says, "I get alot of grief from men because their wives come to see me for guidance and help, I am a counselor after all. I counsel all people, men and women and couples, but if a man wont come see me theres not alot I can do. Men are jealous of me because I lend emotional support for women. Part of my job is to listen and talk and give advice or to be a shoulder to cry on, or vent. If a man would listen and learn from me on how to give emtotional support to their wives, then they wouldn't be in the position they are in. If men did their job then they wouldn't feel the way they do about me. I can not help they are jealous." I mean I agree to a point with what he is saying. But it was the way he said it, he comes across as pretty conceited. Do you agree? Sounds like he is full of himself. Do counselors usually spout off or come across as being really good or full of themselves?
Author EnigmasMuse Posted May 8, 2007 Author Posted May 8, 2007 that counsellors don't need counselling themselves? Well, that is true too. Maybe he has insecurity issues or something and feels the need to pump himself up, I don't know, but just found it odd I guess.
Lizzie60 Posted May 8, 2007 Posted May 8, 2007 and he is truly helping you... then just ignore this self-flattering thing.
Salicious Crumb Posted May 8, 2007 Posted May 8, 2007 almost sounds like this counselor is trying to get you to see how sensitive and level-headed he is to woo you into bed.
Author EnigmasMuse Posted May 8, 2007 Author Posted May 8, 2007 almost sounds like this counselor is trying to get you to see how sensitive and level-headed he is to woo you into bed. Well, SC, you might be on to something there. I have really thought about changing counselors for thinking along those same lines myself, recently. And yes he has been helpful , but here lately I feel a strong gut instinct on a different matter. At first I thought those thoughts were silly but I have a strong gut instinct on the matter. I actually am guilty of feeling rather close to him. I'm not married btw, but he is. I find feeling close to him in a emotinal way, because he does seem to have the "ability to connect". And I honestly feel, he enjoys that. Which bothers me. I do not want to end up in a situation where I have fallen hard for someone who I can not have because they know all the right things to say. He seems to take great pride in the fact that he does know all the right things to say too. And maybe that is all it is. I'm not real sure, he would even go that far to get a woman in the bed. I think he is a talker, one that likes to "connect emotionally with women" and get them to feel something for him but yet he would not carry it out. No wonder some of the men he says are jealous of him or give him grief. He must know there is a reason for that.
nittygritty Posted May 8, 2007 Posted May 8, 2007 He may be just selling his services to you by self promoting. If he is as good as he says he is you will know soon enough. You could say "Well, I'm ready to get started". Remember that your paying for his time and services. If he eats up the time talking about himself you will be wasting your money. A good counselor will have enough clients that they don't need to try to drag each clients therapy out over a lengthy time unnecessarily, to make a living. Word of mouth and returning for help with different issues will keep good therapists in business, IMO.
LoveLace Posted May 8, 2007 Posted May 8, 2007 He does sound full of himself...but I think he's right about the married men that aren't doing their job...however, I hardly think he's as responsible as he thinks for "making the world a better place"...please! We all do something, big or small, to contribute to making the world a better place. He's acting as though he's so great that he could make divorce rates decline over 50%!! He definitely thinks his impact on people is way deep! Plus, it sounds like he enjoys talking about himself more than about his patient. But if anything is making you uncomfortable, that's enough reason to get another counselor. No need to even question his attitude...if it's bothering you, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I'm sure another counselor could help you out just as much.
Author EnigmasMuse Posted May 8, 2007 Author Posted May 8, 2007 Thanks for the replies. I probably will find another counselor though. Like I said he has been good and does give advice. But for some reason I feel I'm being sucked in by him playing himself up so much and how he is there for women etc.
a4a Posted May 8, 2007 Posted May 8, 2007 Thanks for the replies. I probably will find another counselor though. Like I said he has been good and does give advice. But for some reason I feel I'm being sucked in by him playing himself up so much and how he is there for women etc. I hope you share that with him.... maybe it is something he needs to work on?
Salicious Crumb Posted May 8, 2007 Posted May 8, 2007 I'm not real sure, he would even go that far to get a woman in the bed. I think he is a talker, one that likes to "connect emotionally with women" and get them to feel something for him but yet he would not carry it out. It reminds me of the shrink that Elaine was dating on Seinfeld and he could manipulate her any way he likes...like when Elaine said she couldn't arrange a meeting between him and Kramer and the shrink said, "you can and you will"
JackJack Posted May 8, 2007 Posted May 8, 2007 IMO, I think you should move on if you sense something is not right, or makes you feel uncomfortable. To me even if he gives good advice or not, he is stuck a little to much on himself, that right there can cause a problem for someone who might be vulnerable or doesn't feel quite as sure of themselves as he seems too. It can sometimes make others feel crappy, and a good counselor wouldn't want to project that off onto someone else. Unless he is thinking his self confidence will rub off on another, but he doesn't even seem confident, he seems stuck up. The fact you feel you are getting to close or that you even sense he likes for women to feel close to him in his words, and ability to connect, seems like you might be right in your thinking. Maybe find another counselor. Make sure to tell him before you leave, he needs to find help himself for his security issues.
Recommended Posts