housexy79 Posted May 8, 2007 Posted May 8, 2007 I am a 28 year old mother of 2 girls i have a partner of 10 going on 11 years. The past 16 months has been very hard for me, i have no family of my own only his. And havent really made any friends in the time that i have been with him. We decided to open a performance business 2 years ago. First year was fine then the second, it was all about his new young mates (he is 34) and girls, clubs, and cars. I was pushed aside while he went off behaving like a teenager. I started going through his phone and found lots of girls numbers stored as males names one being a prostitute which really got me thinking!! Any way, i found out that a model we had used in a car show, started going to the shop and calling him.This model was also my sister in laws friend 20year old blonde. Apparently she really liked him so he must have treated her well. He denied everything for 12 months saying i was fat and i am 45kg. Then i wasn't sexy enough, then not fit enough, i didn't cook good, i couldn't clean etc.....He still denies sleeping with the pro, but i soon found out from her that he did, and apparently there were more but he still denies it. Now he has no shop and no more mates. We have moved and i just feel used to my core. I feel that now he has nothing and no-one he has come back i dont feel that it is because he loves me. I cant trust him, its been 2 months since i found out about the other girl, and i just cant get over that he cheated on me. I get thinking about all the lies and it eats me up, my girls didn't even know that they had a dad for 12months. And now i try to pretty myself up and he stares at me and smirks or today apparently i smell. He seems to get off on putting me down. I have had enough but dont want to be the one to leave. He says he still loves me and always did but i dont believe it at all.
4whatItsWorth Posted May 8, 2007 Posted May 8, 2007 Ow! That man is a jerk to the core! Normally I would quote the other's read "His needs, her needs" by Hardley, but he seems to have no shame in cheating on you. If he loves you so much - why does he keep trying to put you down? The man sounds like a selfish bully. Is that really the male role model you want around your children? Why do you stay just because you do not want to leave? If you'd rather try to work things out, or if HE really does then he sure needs therapy and so do you. He'd have to do a LOT to regain that trust, and also to change his behaviour towards you. Perhaps it's easier to "punish" you for the affair than for him to punish himself? He might even think it is your fault all along and that he can't have both of worlds. Wait for some better advice, I have no experience in the field except my mom decided never to get back together with dad when he cheated - and I do not think any woman should. However, it is important for you to understand WHY he cheated in the first place. He owe you that much. And putting you down? He is a verbal abuser.
Unforgetable77 Posted May 8, 2007 Posted May 8, 2007 Hunni my heart goes out to u, you should in no way feel u have to put up with this disrespect from yor H/bf this man is an insult to the male species although i know there are many of this kind and there are also many good ones too may i add....please don't beat urself up over this arrogant pig.. my advice is move on with your children being a single mum is not unsual anymore and u might find that u and your children feel better for it ... i have!!! i'm a single mum to 5 and my ex wasn't a very nice person, i moved on i owed it to myself and my kids, its only been 8 months but the change i see in them is tremendous....... don't let him knock your confidence it takes a long time to build it back up, keep your chin up, head held high and get out there and show him he isnt the B all and end all of your life good luck to you my thoughts are with you
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