lonelybird Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 Love is the answer, and you know that for sure. Love is a flower, you've got to let it grow. All you need is love. Keep giving it - even when it's not returned. That's what real love is about. But OP expect return, doesn't he? or he don't care his gf flirt and sleep with other guys? if so, he should stick with her.
pelagicsands Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 , he should stick with her. I agree. And you and I know all about unconditional love. We need to stick together, and spread the word.
lonelybird Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 I agree. And you and I know all about unconditional love. We need to stick together, and spread the word. good idea, but I don't trust you will use the good words in right way
pelagicsands Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 , but I don't trust you I just knew you are a smart girl. I'm very, very dodgy.
Author chocolate_boy Posted May 9, 2007 Author Posted May 9, 2007 I agree. And you and I know all about unconditional love. We need to stick together, and spread the word. Well I don't have unconditional love for her, there are definitely conditions, I won't put up with my own hapiness being ruined, which is why I want to confront this and see that she needs help, and i will offer it, if it is to continue this way though, i will have to end it, there is no other way, i can't have a future with someone who does this. It is not right is it?
Author chocolate_boy Posted May 9, 2007 Author Posted May 9, 2007 But OP expect return, doesn't he? or he don't care his gf flirt and sleep with other guys? if so, he should stick with her. I do care a lot, but i feel i should try and talk to her and deal with this, rather than just kicking her out and never talking to her again. Or am I being hopelessly niave, if she is BPD is it not worth me trying to help her?
Krytellan Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 Well I don't have unconditional love for her, there are definitely conditions, I won't put up with my own hapiness being ruined Actually, to be honest, I'm not so sure that's true. I think in this instance you will put up with your happiness being ruined. And I get the impression this relationship won't end until she finally decides to go with someone else.
Author chocolate_boy Posted May 9, 2007 Author Posted May 9, 2007 Actually, to be honest, I'm not so sure that's true. I think in this instance you will put up with your happiness being ruined. And I get the impression this relationship won't end until she finally decides to go with someone else. Do you think i should just ask her to leave today?
lindya Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 Well I don't have unconditional love for her, there are definitely conditions, I won't put up with my own hapiness being ruined, which is why I want to confront this and see that she needs help, and i will offer it, if it is to continue this way though, i will have to end it, there is no other way, i can't have a future with someone who does this. It is not right is it? Look CB - pelagic hands (ahem) is not being serious in his advice. He's trying to be amusingly ironic and tongue in cheek at your expense. Focus on the advice from people who are actually interested in helping you.
Krytellan Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 Do you think i should just ask her to leave today? I would tell you what I think, except for two things: First, you wouldn't care what I think, and second, you already know what you should do. However, knowing what you should do is infinitely easier than doing it.
lonelybird Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 I do care a lot, but i feel i should try and talk to her and deal with this, rather than just kicking her out and never talking to her again. Or am I being hopelessly niave, if she is BPD is it not worth me trying to help her? I do think she is unstable and need affection, but key point here is that you are affected by this up and down greatly, not good to your own good mental health, nor you are in a position that can help her. personally I don't think I can handle that kind of behaviour if I were you, I may be there for her, like caring friend. You just cannot hang on her neck 24/7 to meet her need for attention. won't you wonder she loves you or your attention? put distance between you two for a while maybe a good solution, and see what happen, and accept whatever will happen. IF you let her depend on you heavily, it is not good for her too
pelagicsands Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 I do think she is unstable and need affection, but key point here is that you are affected by this up and down greatly, not good to your own good mental health, nor you are in a position that can help her. personally I don't think I can handle that kind of behaviour if I were you, I may be there for her, like caring friend. You just cannot hang on her neck 24/7 to meet her need for attention. won't you wonder she loves you or your attention? put distance between you two for a while maybe a good solution, and see what happen, and accept whatever will happen. IF you let her depend on you heavily, it is not good for her too That's great advice. I agree wholeheartedly.
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