Author chocolate_boy Posted May 9, 2007 Author Posted May 9, 2007 Are you crazy to put up with this prima donna behaviour? You're worth more than this. NUT UP!! Kick her to the curb and lock the door. I know, but you're only getting my side of the story here.. I don't know. She was neglected by her father and abused when she was growing up, and raped at the age of 13.. maybe that's why she craves this male attention and is so needy... maybe i should make her get some therapy, she's never admitted its a problem, but maybe it is.
pelagicsands Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 Are you crazy to put up with this prima donna behaviour? You don't understand. She is hot.
Author chocolate_boy Posted May 9, 2007 Author Posted May 9, 2007 You don't understand. She is hot. Well she is very attractive but that's not the reason i'm with her, we've been together a year now and i am in love with her, we've lived together for 6 months and she's the closest person I have now.. just I can't go on like this, I can't have a future with someone who acts like this. What do i do now? And please no "kick her to the curb" stuff, I'm thinking it best if I come clean and tell her I have read this stuff and talk about it, and find out why, and let her know that I don't want to be with her if she acts like this, maybe try and get her to see a counsellor first.. and suggest maybe she moves out.
Trialbyfire Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 She was neglected by her father and abused when she was growing up, and raped at the age of 13.. maybe that's why she craves this male attention and is so needy... maybe i should make her get some therapy, she's never admitted its a problem, but maybe it is. You should discuss her getting therapy and then she should motivate herself to get it. Therapy is not a cure-all. It requires hard work by the individual involved to reroute bad behavioural patterns and use the new tools that she has learned to address anything else. You are not her mother or her father. Understand? You don't understand. She is hot. I would drop her like she's hot...
burning 4 revenge Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 You're trying to be mature in a context where maturity is inappropriate. If your wife of ten years whos born your children gets involved in an affair with someone shes fallen in love with at work...you may want to try and work it out if that's even possible. In this situation KICK HER TO THE CURB!
pelagicsands Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 What do i do now? Just keep loving her. If you love long enough, and hard enough... anything is possible. And stop prying into her private conversations. Trust begins at home.
Author chocolate_boy Posted May 9, 2007 Author Posted May 9, 2007 Just keep loving her. If you love long enough, and hard enough... anything is possible. And stop prying into her private conversations. Trust begins at home. Not even confront her about it? Just act as if nothing is wrong? She is off to meet a guy she met on-line later this evening according to her aol chat... I'm so confused what to do now.
pelagicsands Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 Just act as if nothing is wrong? Give her more attention. Simple as that.
Author chocolate_boy Posted May 9, 2007 Author Posted May 9, 2007 Give her more attention. Simple as that. I do give her lots, the ocassions she mentions in the conversations are like, an afternoon. She got upset one day cos she was out all day and I didnt text or call her all day, reason is I fell asleep cos i'd been up all night at work, yet she just feels so neglected if I even do something as simple as that, other examples include forgetting to kiss her goodbye one morning as i was 15 mins late for work, and then she cried and went off running to her guy friends saying i didnt love her etc.
Author chocolate_boy Posted May 9, 2007 Author Posted May 9, 2007 Should i be the one to change? Do I just sit back with a fake smile and let her go out on a mini-date with some random off the net? I feel like I should take a stand and tell her if she's gonna behaive like that then to get out my house, as I personally feel its inappropriate behaivour for someone who's in a relationship... but is that the way to go about it? I'm looking at advice here, everyone else is telling me to do that, but you're not, maybe you look at it from her point of view, I need more of that, I don't want to be unreasonable, I'm obviously doing something wrong.
pelagicsands Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 Just be patient with her. She needs to trust you. If she hasn't figured it out, she will soon... you are the best thing that ever happened to her.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 Chocolate boy, have you ever read about borderline personality disorder? If I wasn't such a waster spending so much time on LS I'd think you were a total roll. I was just telling a friend I hope Woggle doesnt read this sh*t
Author chocolate_boy Posted May 9, 2007 Author Posted May 9, 2007 Just be patient with her. She needs to trust you. If she hasn't figured it out, she will soon... you are the best thing that ever happened to her. It just hurts so much cos I'd never dream of talking to other women the way she does to guys, and I know she'd be devistated if I met some random girl off the net for a drink and bowling... shouldn;t I be the one she does that stuff with? I feel so ****.
Author chocolate_boy Posted May 9, 2007 Author Posted May 9, 2007 Chocolate boy, have you ever read about borderline personality disorder? If I wasn't such a waster spending so much time on LS I'd think you were a total roll. I was just telling a friend I hope Woggle doesnt read this sh*t Yeah she thinks she may have Bi-polar actually, but she's too scared or resistant to see anyone about it, we've had the conversation in the past, she does blow up ocasionally and have fits of rage.
pelagicsands Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 I was just telling a friend I hope Woggle doesnt read this sh*t But I thought we were more than friends?! Please tell me your tongue slipped. That last sentence is making me horny.
Author chocolate_boy Posted May 9, 2007 Author Posted May 9, 2007 Actually, my god: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/bpd.cfm that is her 100%, every thing is accurate... I dunno I feel like showing her, if she was prepared to get help i will stay with her and help her, but like this I just don't feel I can go on.. seriously. guess she has to admit she has a problem and want to do something about it though. I cant make her.
pelagicsands Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 i will stay with her and help her, That's the spirit! Be her rock.
Krytellan Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 But even looking back to the week in feb, I lost my job and my grandfather died, yet she asked another guy round to our apartment for sex when I was out cos she felt neglected that day! Scuse me... WHAT? Am I the only one that wishes I could slap some sense into you thru the computer screen?
Krytellan Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 CB, this whole thing has gone from a request for advice to a request for justifying why you should stay with her. Nothing we say will matter unless we say stay with her. You already know your answer and only by experiencing this long, painful, degrading, and selfish relationship to the end will you learn anything about it or from it. I'm soooo sorry you are about to go through this.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 CB, this whole thing has gone from a request for advice to a request for justifying why you should stay with her. Nothing we say will matter unless we say stay with her. You already know your answer and only by experiencing this long, painful, degrading, and selfish relationship to the end will you learn anything about it or from it. I'm soooo sorry you are about to go through this.Its not so far away from her sleeping with other guys on his bed and laughing at him
Trialbyfire Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 Scuse me... WHAT? Am I the only one that wishes I could slap some sense into you thru the computer screen? As you can now tell, there have been a good handful of members that want to do this. While it's admirable that cb wants to stick by his ladylove, he also needs to realize that his behaviour is empowering her neediness. The more he gives in, the more she'll take. If he takes one wrong step, she's punishing him by doing something nasty. It's sad to see a guy who seems so decent, being ruled by such an iron-fisted, selfish tyrant.
pelagicsands Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 Love is the answer, and you know that for sure. Love is a flower, you've got to let it grow. All you need is love. Keep giving it - even when it's not returned. That's what real love is about.
pelagicsands Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 , being ruled by such an iron-fisted, That's a bit over the top. She's not a robot. Cut her, and she bleeds.
Trialbyfire Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 That's a bit over the top. She's not a robot. Cut her, and she bleeds. She's bleeding him dry and don't go where I know you will.... Look at him right now. She's beat his self-esteem down to a pulp so that he's incapable of setting boundaries for her. I wasn't kidding about dropping her like she's hot...right onto her pointy, selfish little head.
pelagicsands Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 She's just a girl, standing in front of a (chocolate) boy, asking for him to love her.
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