sweetvica Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 Hi everyone! I'm new here and this is my first post. This forum seems really groovy and you are all so helpful, I'm sure I'll like it here... The story with my friend is so complicated I can't even begin to explain everything, but basically he used to say things which made me feel he liked me romatically: "I want to kiss you/hold you all night/you're amazing/you're beautiful & sexy" etc etc, stuff like that. I fell for him and ended up breaking up with my boyfriend - and then he told me he had a girlfriend. He's a nice person in all other respects, and we tried to salvage the friendship as we both care about each other a lot. Thinking of him with her, seeing pictures of them together on flickr (I was stupid and looked at his account today, I'd been so good too...) is doing my head in. I literally cry all the time, and I'm just so sick of it. I know he would be devestated to lose me as a friend but I see no other option; it seems like, if I want to retain my sanity, I must cut this guy out of my life, even though he's one of my closest friends. Sometimes I think he loves me, the way he talks. he spoke about the infinite spectrum between love and friendship and how he cares for me 'deeply'. But he's still with her. I think if I truly believed there was no hope, I might be able to get over him while still knowing him. But while there is this flirting (constant), this feeling that he is secretly into me on some level, I can't let go. How can I? I'm in love with him and the merest hint that he could ever, one day feel the same way is all it takes it send me into a spiral of confusion and agonized doubt. And that merest hint, it happens ALL THE TIME. I can't go on like this, but I know I will hurt both of us very mcuh if I tell him I can't talk to him anymore. What would you guys do? Break contact forever? For a long time? Or stick with this and not walk away from him? I'm so confused and unhappy. Sorry this is so long . Man, I wish I could stop crying; my keyboard has been getting a real bathing of late. Thanks for reading. Vicky x
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