heynowwww Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 Hey everyone, Right now I am really hurting and in need of assistance. Just to set the scene me and my ex have been split for almost a year after being together for 3 yrs, which was caused by her cheating. We still have spoken with each other throughout this time. She has a bf for 8 months now. I am 24 she is 25 and her bf now is 33. One problem is I keep comparing myself to him and as he has 9 yrs on me I just feel I cant measure up. Another problem is me and her have hooked up while she is with him. A week ago we did and I get so confused because everything seems so good then the next day she will tell me how happy she is with her relationship. I decided I am cutting her out of my life, but I really loved her and am worried I may never hear from her again. I am severely depressed and hate being so weak, but my mind just fixates on all these things. Another question for anyone with experience how can she hook up w/ me but say how happy she is with him the next day. It boggles my mind. Thank you guys and sorry for the mess. I am trying to hold it together but lack of sleep and worry is getting the nest of me at the moment.
Lizzie60 Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 she is playing you... You need to completely cut her off your life... Move on... You are 'weak' as you said and she probably knows that so she is using you whenever she feels like it. If you keep seeing her, it will only hurt you more and more... You need to look after yourself... If it's too hard.. try to get some support from some friends or family, or even counselling if you can, but don't see her anymore, it is just too crual. Good luck...
loveinlife Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 All of the scenario going on with you and your ex is a ego trip. Its like scratching an old wound. I am going through a similar situation. Just have to be strong. The answer that you have will eventually come. But mean time treat yourself with respect. You are better than her. good luck my friend.
Aquarius Guy Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 Dear Hey Nowwww, There is a book I just started reading, entitled Bitch. It explains the Delilah effect, that some women are interested in feeling the power of dessimating a man. Accusing yourself as Weak, may not be the total picture. I am living with my wife, who enjoys finding ways to make me feel disempowered. Do you think that I am better off than you? I will list, as a vent, a number of disempowering actions by my wife. 1. She cooks for me, but is not careful about putting leftovers back in the refrigerator. So eating the leftovers is risky, because I get the farts or diahrhea. I want to show her I Love her by eating wht che cooks or warms up for me. But she is really untrustworthy with leftovers. I do have a shelf in the freezer of the refrigerator, finally, and I keep some TV dinners there, so I don't need to depend on her. 2. I have some social, politcal and religious ideas that I have developed over the years, but my wife likes to throw my stuff away. I currently have a small section of the basement, which limits what I can do with my interests. But in addition to space, my wife enjoys finding fault with my ideas, which is disempowereing. 3. We have a son who essentially dropped out of college due to low grades in his Senior year. My wife is big on being nurturing to him, and really wants him to graduate, but my son is intersted in maintianing the lifestyle of a student, without really going to school with any hope of graduating. I have been paying his car payment and room rent. I laid out a spreadsheet for my wife, about our son's freeloading. She is in Denial. Her specialty. My wife finds a way to blame me for all aspects of the situation. 4. My wife has badmouthed me in front of the kids for years, and certanily behind my back. So the kids really don't reespect me, and I have no authority with my son. My wife covers a number of my son's expenses. No! It is I that envy you. I dream of having a room with my own expenses, and being able to look another woman in the eye, and say, "I am separated" or "I am divorced" Great if my wife wants to get together once in a while, if I have time. She is an enthusiastic, bubbly sweetie, sometimes. Anybody that trusts my wife is nuts. God bless him, whoever he is going to be. God Bless. .
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