KunFuZed Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 I just move to a new state and upon arrival I met a guy. Awsome guy, some one I can see my self with for years only problem is he has a girlfriend that he's been with for 5 years. But we are so into each other spend a lot of time and nights together, do fun things like site seeing, eating, movies, etc. It felt like he was spending more time with me than his girlfriend. We use to have sex like rabbits but now its occasional, but its always unprotected. Recently I've been having these re-accuring dreams, some times its a little different, where I'm about 5 to 8 months pregnant and ofcourse he has to tell his girlfriend. In some dreams he brings his girlfriend to my house to fight me other times its like he accepts the fact that we messed up (he made his bed he has to lay in it) and she is just so angry and wants to fight me. I never met this girl so I don't know if she's that type of female. I don't know what this dream is trying to tell me. There is a part of me that wants to tell him about it, mainly to find out if I did get pregnant if he would bring his girlfriend to my house or if he thinks she would be so mad that she would want to fight me somthing terrible. But I keep quiet about it because if I do turn up pregnant one day I don't want him to think that was a hint that I wanted to have his baby. The feed back I'm looking for is an opinion on what the dream means and if I should tell him about it.
norajane Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 The dream means you are seeing a future with him, and it involves a struggle for him against his gf. It doesn't necessarily mean a physical fight - it just means there's going to have to be a time when he tells her about you if you two are ever going to have a future. However, you really ought to think about this more carefully. He is cheating and lying to a woman he's been with for 5 years. What makes you think he won't do the same to you even if you 'win' him away from his gf?
whichwayisup Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 Why aren't you using any protection? DO you want to get pregnant by this guy? This guy is scum, cheating on his girlfriend of 5 years...Imagine if you were in her shoes! Even if they do break up, could you ever fully trust him 100%? 5 years with the same woman hasn't stopped him from cheating on her, what makes you believe that he wouldn't cheat on you as well? What do you want from him? What are you looking for? A husband? A father to your child? End it with him now, if he loves you enough and wants to be with you, he'll break up with his girlfriend. Right now he's got 2 women in his life, why would he want to give one of you up? He's got it made in the shade...
Lizzie60 Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 You should use protection... if you get pregnant you can ruin your life... it doesn't mean that he would leave his gf and be with you.. he might just dump you...period and then say it wasn't his kid, blablabla...you're playing with fire here. I think you can pretty much analyse this dream just as well as we can. I think you'll eventually get hurt by this guy... If he was really in love with you, he would leave his gf... nothing is holding him...so that doesn't tell you anything? I think you're completely blind by this guy and you might regret it for the rest of your life.
Visu Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 You should use protection... if you get pregnant you can ruin your life... it doesn't mean that he would leave his gf and be with you.. If he was really in love with you, he would leave his gf... nothing is holding him...so that doesn't tell you anything? You should stop having sex with him, unprotected, at least. he is getting the best of you and what are you getting from him? it seems like you want to get pregnant. unless he's all yours, he's still hers. there are plenty of available, single guys out there. you should find one of them to be with. if you got pregnant by this man and he didn't leave his gf for you, it will be harder for you. good luck.
GreenEyedLady Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 They're not married, so he's not REALLY anyone's... You SHOULD be using protection because you don't want to get pregnant, do you? Maybe you should tell him about the dream because then he'll realize what's at stake and how you feel about him... If he's just interested in sex, he'll probably back off...if he is interested in pursuing a R with you, he'll break up with her... How do you feel about him having a GF?
Author KunFuZed Posted May 7, 2007 Author Posted May 7, 2007 I like norajanes interpretation of the dream. But I didn't post this thread to be judged or for him to be judged. I know his he has cheating dog scum blood running thru his vanes. But very few men don't n I wouldn't expect different. He's just a sweet person n I'm happy when I'm witch him. But I don't ever want to have a confontation with his girlfriend I don't even want to meet this girl.
norajane Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 I like norajanes interpretation of the dream. But I didn't post this thread to be judged or for him to be judged. I know his he has cheating dog scum blood running thru his vanes. But very few men don't n I wouldn't expect different. He's just a sweet person n I'm happy when I'm witch him. But I don't ever want to have a confontation with his girlfriend I don't even want to meet this girl. Sooner or later, he's going to slip up and she's going to get suspicious - she might already be suspicious. She might start checking his cell phone or his bill online. She might get into his email and find out about you. She might start following him and find out where you live. You will very likely have to deal with the fallout of this - that's probably why you are so anxious that you are having dreams about it. You sense that this can't last as-is for much longer and are worried. In any case, make him use condoms or don't have sex with him. You can't protect a baby when you can't even protect yourself.
whichwayisup Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 They're not married, so he's not REALLY anyone's... After 5 years, one would think that time means something. Just because they aren't married, doesn't mean that his girlfriend doesn't expect him to stay faithful to her. Come on GEL. Cheating is cheating. If he is capable of cheating after being with someone for 5 years, why should marriage stop him in the future? Sounds to me like he isn't committed. I like norajanes interpretation of the dream. But I didn't post this thread to be judged or for him to be judged. I know his he has cheating dog scum blood running thru his vanes. But very few men don't n I wouldn't expect different. He's just a sweet person n I'm happy when I'm witch him. But I don't ever want to have a confontation with his girlfriend I don't even want to meet this girl. Then why are you with him if you know he's a cheating scumbag? Do you think that low of yourself to be with a guy who cheats on his girlfriend? Sorry, don't mean to sound harsh, but you deserve better than him. I don't know why you're settling for table scraps.
GreenEyedLady Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 Sounds to me like he isn't committed./quote] Which is why he is NOT married...
whichwayisup Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 Being in a relationship, not married, one can still be committed to being faithful. Obviously he can't. Sorry, I'm not sure if you are talking about this particular situation, or ALL relationships where people are not married, but together long term. Anyway, I doubt she's his first gal on the side.
GreenEyedLady Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 Being in a relationship, not married, one can still be committed to being faithful. Obviously he can't. Sorry, I'm not sure if you are talking about this particular situation, or ALL relationships where people are not married, but together long term. Anyway, I doubt she's his first gal on the side. I'm talking about this situation in particular...We don't even know more than basic facts...she hasn't said whether the BF/GF live together or their age...my guess is they're young like the OP... So I just don't see getting all riled up about a young single guy with a girlfriend seeing someone else...it's pretty obvious he's not ready to be married right now and he has two girlfriends...who knows what the agreement is between him and the GF anyway... Besides the fact that she is not the one here asking for help, the OP is...and that's why I advised and asked the questions I did... There's a big difference to me between a W and GF...especially in this situation...
Enema Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 You should try to have his baby. Then, he would leave her and be with you forever and your life would be perfect! I can see it now, good luck!
torranceshipman Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 Doesnt matter if those two are girlfriend/boyfriend, or married. Point, is he's lying to his significant other and that is VERY wrong. Being in a relationship generally comes with a commitment to be faithful and if you make that promise to someone, its really nasty and cruel to go behind their back and lie about it, and sneak around with someone else, then say 'well technically we aren't married so it's not as bad'. That's disrespect on SO many levels and anyone who does that is seriously lying to themselves too, if they think thats any justification for acting like a lowlife. Come on....argue technicalites or whatever you want but...the bottom line is that lying is wrong and selfish, period, and we don't have any business condoning it, whether the person is M or not.
GreenEyedLady Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 I think that due to the forum that this was posted in, alot is being read into this... Everyone assumes that he is lying to his S/O, when we don't know what their agreement is...maybe they can see other people...just because they've been together five years doesn't necessarily mean that they are practically married... I mean maybe that is the case...but what if two or three of those years they were in high school together? And I think that break-ups when you're single happen a couple of ways: 1. Male won't commit, so female finally breaks-up with him. 2. Male doesn't want anything serious, so he breaks up with female. 3. One of them find someone else that they're interested in and then break-up. And if you're in your early twenties, R just aren't generally as serious when you're older...
SoxPrincess Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 Let's put aside the worry of pregnancy for just a moment and think of something else...STD's. You're sleeping with a man who has a longtime girlfriend (who he is likely still having sex with and likely unprotected as well) and you're not using any protection! You don't know his sexual history, you don't know his girlfriends sexual history and for all you know, he could be sleeping with someone else besides the two of you!! Just remember, when you have unprotected sex with someone, you are also having sex with everyone they had sex with and everyone they had sex with and on and on and on. Please, PLEASE start using some form of protection; having a baby with someone in a committed relationship has serious ramifications in and of itself, but contracting an STD could possibly threaten your life.
Felixstowe Posted May 13, 2007 Posted May 13, 2007 If he is sleeping with you, yet won't leave his girlfriend then you really need to think things through here. You might love him desperately, where as if he is willingly carrying on with you, while he still with his girlfriend that is not necessarily a good thing. It means eiher he is just using you as a part time lover and booty call, or he is too spineless to tell his girlfriend straight that its over and he has found someone else. Either way it doesn't really re-enforce his position.
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