goodguy123 Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 For those who haven't read any of my previous threads, me and my ex broke up almost 9 months ago, and I have been completely heartbroken since then. But since we broke up, my ex still calls me at least once every week or 2, and she even has had a new boyfriend for a while now.. She called me the other day, and we were talking and i told her that i might be moving out of the state pretty soon for a new job. So not much came of it, but later she messaged me and told me that she would miss me if i left, and that she still loved me. So i told her i loved her too, and we haven't spoke since then which was a few days ago. I love this girl more than anyone i've ever met, and I would love to have her back, but i'm not sure what i should do now. Should I contact her and ask her why she isn't with me if she loves me? Or should i just not do anything? I just feel really torn in half. I would hate to move away and not have much of any chance of getting this girl i love back. But on the other side, I don't want to miss an opportunity for my career for someone that might not ever come back to me.
Trialbyfire Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 Don't miss out on this opportunity. Keep in mind that if you really feel it's the wrong step, you can always move back. Who knows what a new environment might bring. She's already moved on but is keeping you on a string. Now it's "me" time. You don't owe her anything besides a nice goodbye.
Island Girl Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 You should be completely in NC. You are not giving yourself time and distance to heal and gain some much needed perspective. She has moved on. She is enjoying another man's company and companionship. Remaining "there for her" is creating a big self esteem problem for you. You should NOT even take anything she says into consideration when making decisions for your life. You should take the job and get away from her. All she is doing is stringing you along. It is the "I don't want you but I still want you pining away for me because it gives me a HUGE ego boost" scenario. You don't have a chance -- not even remotely -- of getting her back by being her doormat. You've been doing this (allowing her to walk all over you) for quite sometime. My guess is the chances on her ever coming back to you are very very very slim to none as she more than likely has no respect for you now. Don't ask her because if you do, she'll say of course she still does but she will be LYING. Do not remain her puppet on a string. Do not talk to her anymore. Just snip the ties and make the changes in your life that you need to. Your wounded heart can't heal as long as you keep letting her rip those wounds open again. Go NC immediately.
norajane Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 You should be completely in NC. You are not giving yourself time and distance to heal and gain some much needed perspective. She has moved on. She is enjoying another man's company and companionship. Remaining "there for her" is creating a big self esteem problem for you. You should NOT even take anything she says into consideration when making decisions for your life. You should take the job and get away from her. All she is doing is stringing you along. It is the "I don't want you but I still want you pining away for me because it gives me a HUGE ego boost" scenario. You don't have a chance -- not even remotely -- of getting her back by being her doormat. You've been doing this (allowing her to walk all over you) for quite sometime. My guess is the chances on her ever coming back to you are very very very slim to none as she more than likely has no respect for you now. Don't ask her because if you do, she'll say of course she still does but she will be LYING. Do not remain her puppet on a string. Do not talk to her anymore. Just snip the ties and make the changes in your life that you need to. Your wounded heart can't heal as long as you keep letting her rip those wounds open again. Go NC immediately. I completely agree. She likes having you as a back-up. If you move away, she won't have that ego boost anymore, unless you continue to answer her calls and pine away for her. Take that career opportunity, and take the opportunity to meet new women who will appreciate you. This girl is just playing games with you now.
CaliGuy Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 You should be completely in NC. You are not giving yourself time and distance to heal and gain some much needed perspective. She has moved on. She is enjoying another man's company and companionship. Remaining "there for her" is creating a big self esteem problem for you. You should NOT even take anything she says into consideration when making decisions for your life. You should take the job and get away from her. All she is doing is stringing you along. It is the "I don't want you but I still want you pining away for me because it gives me a HUGE ego boost" scenario. You don't have a chance -- not even remotely -- of getting her back by being her doormat. You've been doing this (allowing her to walk all over you) for quite sometime. My guess is the chances on her ever coming back to you are very very very slim to none as she more than likely has no respect for you now. Don't ask her because if you do, she'll say of course she still does but she will be LYING. Do not remain her puppet on a string. Do not talk to her anymore. Just snip the ties and make the changes in your life that you need to. Your wounded heart can't heal as long as you keep letting her rip those wounds open again. Go NC immediately. Take a bow, IG. You hit the nail on the head.
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