jessica381983 Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 hello everyone, i found this site while browsing on the internet and decided that i do need a little support after my recent breakup. A little background: i'm 24 and me and my ex (who's 25) had been together for around 1 1/2 yrs. we lived together about half that time and just broke up about 3 weeks ago. this is my first real love and the breakup was more his decision than it was mine, which makes it that much harder, but i do realize that he was right because something had to change. it all basically started going down hill a couple months ago when he got a new job with really long hours and we only got to see eachother like 10 min. a day. so... hurt and resentment built up and we just weren't really getting along like we used to. we broke up on *good* terms (meaning we weren't cussing eachother out or saying i hate you or anything like that) and we both know that this is for the best, at least for right now. logically i absolutely know that we both just need a break from eachother, either temporarily or permanently. and i know i have to keep myself from calling him. i know this in my head. but it is SO HARD. my heart was broken for the first time and the pain is so much worse than i ever could have imagined. i mean part of me thinks it would be easier to move on from him if we had broken up over a reason that people normally breakup over (i.e. cheating, lying, etc.) rather than just "not getting along". but i know that i can not move on and move past this and get involved with someone else (or with him) until this deep wound is healed. is there anything i can do to keep from torturing myself by calling incessantly other than just "don't call?" also, is it better to just cry my heart out when i feel the urge or to just try not to think about him? i have to say that my family and friends have been absolutely amazing in helping me get through this, but i feel like they might be getting tired of hearing about it already! so any advice will be VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!! thank you! Jessica
AriaIncognito Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 No, basically there isn't a way for you to call him and get over him at the same time. Well, maybe there is, but it will take you a heck of a lot longer and will more than likely cause you to hang onto hope for a longer time than if you went no contact. I highly suggest you "don't call" anymore. If it's meant to be, you'll find your way back to each other. In the meantime, don't sit around waiting for it to happen, or call, making yourself seem unable to detach yourself from him.
Megakurth Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 Year and a half seems like such a long time. Im abit younger, but it was also my first real relationship and we broke up on a similar reason of "not getting along" or "not feeling as happy" (well actually she dumped me). Non contact really does work, its not easy, theres always the temptation to try to make it work, but the best thing is space. Im hopeful that one day I can get back together with my ex too, but I feel like first I need to maintain no real contact other than a hello if we see eachother, then better my life abit, then show her that ive bettered my life. As hard as it may be, its the only way to go. If you keep in contact, it will hurt you more as you yearn to be with that person, you might just drive them away more, or drive yourself closer to something that may not happen.
Recommended Posts