alextop30 Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 My life has been so such a drag. Born in a different country, at the age of 12 moving to USA I was made to grow up, at 13 I was arguing with phone compnies for extra charges on phone bills. At 15 I started paying all the bills in my house, at 16 learned how to cook. At 17 doing everything in the house. On top of that going to school every day - sometimes missing the bus, sometimes walking 5 miles to school. I also played 3 hours a day sport in which I became proffecional at - table tennis - laugh but my name was on the winners at the five star american torunaments. I did all of that and somehow my sadness could not catch up to me. But now at 19 I can barely move my knees because from 15 -16 years of age I grew a foot taller and my body could not handle the streching of my joints. I cannot play sports any more, I tried looking for friends - very hard to find and I got even more sad. Now I am trying college I started with straigt A's but suddely family problems started to arise, my mother is in depression constantly, she gets constant migrenes and again I try to help her the best way I can trying to forget about my problems. On the final semester of first year in college now, it is like I am on the verge of break. I have no friends, I have no parents that I can talk to because they are constantly fighting, I have a brother who doesn't give a crap about anything than going out with his friends drinking. While I sit in front of a book and look at some words which I can bearly see because it is a fog in front of my eyes. It looks like I have lost everything even the will to live, I get up in the morning and I try to find a reason why I am still living and you know what there is none. Anyone has any idea how I can make this stop? I have 0 self confidence - Why should I have some I am practically the one that fits no where and hates himself to a degree that cannot be measured. I need to fix this with myself because I cannot go on any more carrying such a burdain.
kepners Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 bruv this is a tuff post to reply to! i am replying because your a good lad, and you make a tonne of good comments on here! Can i not suggest swimming or running club or cooking classes women women women... i swim everyday and i love it, women in BIKINIS!!! hehe FREE!!! ... BOOBS. i think the issues is basically you just need a distraction from thinking about urself. your a smart kid and smart kids think about things ALOT. listen, find one friend and go out clubbing. it will change everything getting out and seeing people and take up a hobby. i am really sad u feel this way. because ur a top lad. is being single the main problem?
Author alextop30 Posted May 7, 2007 Author Posted May 7, 2007 I am just going to answer yes. I think it is - a girl hasn't given me a chanse, I kill myself from the fantecies and dreams that I dream. I constantly need to go out have fun but since no one to have fun with stuck at home or just stying. I have to guess that this is probably the fundemental problem that I am single that I get myself so down. I dont know but all of the people I know in school have girl friends I am probably the one between them that isn't really close to get a gf. On top of that part come the other problems, so I think that if I find a girl for me an enourmas pressure would come crashing to the ground from my sholders and I might be actually happy for once.
District Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 i didnt have "friends" in college either. the university that i went to was only 15 miles down the freeway from my house so i didnt dorm, i went to class and went straight back home. my friends from high school all went to different universities. i was really sad at the beginning because i wasnt used to all this lonliness. it wasnt like high school where i had my group of friends who were always there at break time. in college... i've met people, classmates but that was it. the only advice that i can give you is to get used to it. over time you'll meet people. if its a significant other youre looking for.... you'll find her in time. i've dated 2 guys from college but that was it. i didnt think that would ever happen but it did. just relax.
Author alextop30 Posted May 10, 2007 Author Posted May 10, 2007 First to respond to kepners - I am 19 USA there is no going into bars until 21 - finding a job in a bar is not going to be allowed obviously -- IL sucks laws too many too strict. District I understand but problem is I have all of these other problems and not having friends means there is no one to share the pain with. And that loneliness is killing me - I am the definiton of party boy - I love partying I love dancing and so on and now I cannot do anything because I dont have friends. At times I am very severely depressed from the entire situation.
Author alextop30 Posted May 12, 2007 Author Posted May 12, 2007 highschool friends - the very small group that I was in highschool with went to far colleges and the ones that stayed rather play video games on a friday night than go out and have fun so no friends
MakeLoveNoWar Posted May 12, 2007 Posted May 12, 2007 What is it that you like to do? What is it that you want to do? now? not in 5 years, or 20 years, now. Think if you are ready to give it up and leave this world without it? It is very serious, Don't blame yourself, you are not guilty, think what is it that will bring you joy, being happy, It suppose to be very simple things, things that do you good a bit, You are not going to change the world (not yet), Think about it for a second. Than go and do it, just do it. Tell me how you feel after that. We all been where you are, if not, we will in some way. Just ask youself the questions, the answers will come, I've been there. Tell us. http://livingthewayyouwant.blogspot.com/
Claudia Elysa Posted May 14, 2007 Posted May 14, 2007 I know this sounds easier said than done but look at the good things ur accomplishing. Also, if things at home are weighing you down try to take a hobby or volunteer. I know that sounds like a crazy idea but, believe me when you have your mind on other things it takes away from the alone time and you also are helping out. Plus you might be able to meet others this way. I hope that things get better for you.
MakeLoveNoWar Posted May 19, 2007 Posted May 19, 2007 with you, It shift your enegy from the things you don't like in your life to the one's you feel good with them, and by doing something for someone else (no matter if you feel good now or not) you'll start to see your life is changing, For health (phisical and emotional)! http://www.makenewliving.blogspot.com/
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