eroche Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 I didnt know this topic existed. As a matter fo fact I have placed to other threads which does describe my situation as it is now. It is almost at the end. And my life is shattered. I always though my wife and I could solve any issues which came along. Based on love and friendship. She had a double life for 6 months and continued after it was exposed. I know you all would say fight for it. Yes, perhaps that isnt something most men would do but I have to simply because I love her and if ever, even that is probably unlikely, will get together we will reach a higher new level. But it takes two to tango. And now she is frantic in love although still proclaims to love me. She made the first honest move for 8 months saying that she cannot find the energy to fight for us although she still cant choose and want the whole "cake" as you see. I will add my links to my two threads. Its just a sad story. A sad story that if it was esposed in good time we would have been able to solve it. A sad story because we newer dealt with the key issues earlier. I have not only lost a lover, a wife and lifetime partner, but also my best friend. And I am surprised that she can advice love and still do what she is doing. newertheless, I would appreciate if you took the time to read the threads. It may be a bit long, but besides getting counsel and get ready for a divorce I do need to hear people with their experiences. Not a B/W comment, but something which can be seen between the lines. If you have any further questions after reading the threads, please ask. please know that I am aware of my situation. Just need to know if I am alone with this. Eric Thread one http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1179451#post1179451 Thread two http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t118532/
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 Yo E dont feel down on yourself, the affair wasnt your fault. you put in 8 years of work and stood for her being a great husband but her problems are her to solve. It's going to take time but she probably cant look in the mirror without feeling some sort of bad emotion of doing what she did, haunt her. That's why she left. You move on with your life. Once it's all said and done OM wont last, he wont marry her, without it being in the back of his head she's a cheater and a liar too. Also you need to expose this affair and the reason for the divorce to everyone. Let everyone know that she's the one that failed. dont be to hard on yourself. Your down now, but with a lot of hard work and being by yourself and hitting a gym, getting your mojo back, within a few months you'll be ready to let go. Dont accept the crumbs she's handing out. Go NC and move on, hopefully you can find the right woman to build a real future with. Heartbreak doesnt last forever.
FireandIce Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 Okay I have read both of your threads plus this one and I think you're right about telling her to have no contact with you while she sorts this out. It really sounds like she wants to have it both ways and that's just impossible. Sorry but IMO she sounds like a very selfish person.
Unforgetable77 Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 Hi Eric i am so sorry for your pain i really do feel for u (((((hugs))))) This sounds similar to what i went through with my now exH 2 years ago, I've been through all the different types of emotions, hurt, anger, bitterness, resentment and come out of it the other side.... i totally respect you for your willingness to give your W a second chance but u have to realise that this cannot be done unless she is willing to try and want it as much as u!!! my ex H had an A 2 years ago and i gave him a second chance but it was never the same, i felt cheated out of love i constantly questioned my self wondered whether i was trying hard enough wondering whether he would do it again after 14 months i'd had enough i was mentally exhausted i finally realised that it had been over since the A and i was basically flogging a dead horse.... i now deeply regret giving him that second chance i have simply wasted another 2 years of my life on him... i am not suggesting this will happen in your case but it doesn't sound like your W is going to move on from her OM she sounds very undesisive and u should look at this as a negative she cannot have her 'cake' and eat it so to speak!! it seems that her A would still be a secret if it wasn't for her OM's W finding out so she would be still playing the both of u, showing her lack of respect for u...... only u can decide whether or not your M is worth saving, just remember U cannot do this alone it needs to be both parties wanting the same, don't let her string u along hunni it simply isn't worth it.... i really do hope whatever u decide it will make u happy because u deserve it there are alot of really caring, knowledgable people here who are willing to give thier advice i'm a newbie myself so just learning, keep posting eric chat soon take care and good luck...... Unforgetable
Author eroche Posted May 6, 2007 Author Posted May 6, 2007 Its good to hear there are people out there with the same sort of story. I will have to confess that I was thinking to have an affair during a period due to one of our key issues, lack of sex, I wrote posts here in this forum a while ago and I can recall the warnings people told me about. I may have had it my head but newer took any action for that. In some way I felt guilty about that. I also, when we only had vert little sex I did go on internet and download porn etc. I thought it would be innocent. I also went on chat and flirted with other woman. Let know that there were on the other side of the globe so no physical contact. The bottom line is that I have alos been been infidel in the last year. Regardless how desperate I was to survive, I can easily say that I was wrong and not strong to manage it properly. Funny enough It also lost its effect. The ironi was that my wife knew it. She newer challanged me at that since she thought, ok let him do that. This was discussed among us two. This were one of those signals we should have taken seriosuly and dealt via counseling. Another matter is work. We both have travel and it also got out of hand. I am trying to paint and honest picture. I did my mistakes in the last year but mostly I was woken up by saying to myself, you love this lady, it will solve the things we have. So, I have not been that perfect and also desserve a reprimende. The combination of many factors. She is not a shelfish person. We are both good natured people. And we have truly loved eachother a lot. She started something which she thought she can handle, but went out of control. If I may, the only anger I have is that I didnt get a chance to hear about this earlier and save our relationship. What she did was wrong, but so did I of what I have explained above. So the bare lessons learned: Dont stay quite, say ur concerns and finds an honest solutiom Read the signs of ur spouse Dont have an affair, ever. Watch out for internet Take time, even if work is tough I have lost her because she fell in love in December last year. Its long lasting and lasted even till now. Even after exposure. The sad conclusion maybe that I should stop. Let her go. But my love is too strong. I hope you are not angry now, since I have should said this earlier. But Im having counseling now and things came up. I have already talked all this with my wife perhaps soon to be ex. We discussed it and the worse thing which came out: was that if we HAD these dicussions earlier, we could taken alot of grief, killed a lot of misunderstandings and bonded. A hard course to take. But I am willing to accept my mistakes as well. Just though you should know that!!!
Unforgetable77 Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 Hi again Eric I am not disputing the love that u have for your W but it really seems like u are condoning what she has done, there is a huge difference between fantasising and flirting and actually carrying out your fantasies...sorry if this seems harsh but your W had an A, went into it with her eyes wide open.. without a second thought for u or she wouldn't have done it full stop!! Im not innocent myself ive been there done it, not at all proud of myself for doing so but i can assure u when your W was with her OM she wasn't thinking about u.... do u really love her or is the A clouding ur judgement? i think now looking back i thought i loved my H enough to give him a second chance but now i realise i didnt love him at all i just didnt want his OW to win and the thought that he might just have a better life with her.... now 2 years on she has him and good luck to them cause they are going to need it U need to stop making excuses for your wife Eric and look at reality sorry i don't mean to sound harsh and uncaring but i feel she is taking u for a ride it hurts to hear people talk about ur W like that but its the truth and u need to see that before it causes anymore harm Unforgetable
Author eroche Posted May 6, 2007 Author Posted May 6, 2007 Thx unforgettable Its not the fact I am looking for excuses for her but perhaps some understanding. Anyway, I am aware, well almost, that she didnt think of me and seeing this in love still vivid then there is no doubt. I do think that the in love, right or wrong, being true or not regardless how real it feels, was just challanged lately. She continued the pattern even after exposure and I was not effecient enough to get some confrontation. At that point I beleived as always we would solve it. But it didnt. If I had known two months ago that it would have ended here, i would have played it different. Friends are saying alot. Some are saying about the type difference. Some are saying there is a chance. Some are saying that once the fall in love wears of its a different story. regardless all these kind comments, its for sure a mess. All are in shock. Even being aware, as you said, she newer took a real look or wanted to of our love. Im still standing at this moment. But its painfull. I am beginning to think that this cannot have been the only time. That more lies have been made. And that she for a quite a while was searching. At least for a short while before. She fell in love with a guy who holded her hand during a flight!! What I am doing is perhaps wrong. But I am now 41. And I thought I had learned alot. But I am now facing a sitiuation where I am not only fighting for the love, if you now can call it that since I doubt hers, but also to avoid this in the future. I am still at shock. Still cannot believe that I have been so naive. But when I love someone, and see something failed which I am part of, I need to fight. To some point it will be killed if not substance of significans comes out. I will soon realize what her definition of love is. I have perhaps too late realised how strong it was for me. So one very very important lesson. When loving someone, show it in way the partner understands it. In this, I have not done correct. Or good enough. And if it all was a lie, the whole relationship, then I am serious in trouble. I guess love makes you blind, makes you take things for granted, makes you do things not possible. Maybe romantic. But what ever happens, I need to believe that I can meet the love again. With WF or someone else. One point you made was very valid. And i said the same thing to her. If you love someone, you may have a flirt with someone else. But you will stop. Realize and wake up. And this is the period where I believe it becomes real. Her last meeting she made love and the A was even surprised she could do that. She was depressed 2 days before. I cannot believe, that a 39 years old woman would follow such a flow. And can you believe when I say that I estimated her values so high that even with my mistakes, I believed she could make me a better person. Well, sorry for this writting. I guess its part of therapy.
Author eroche Posted May 6, 2007 Author Posted May 6, 2007 Folks, Im reading (session again with counsel this week) alot about marital infidelity. My god, if I just knew half of what I know now a few months ago. Just to think of the signs. We have now entered a silence stage. Simply to take care of eachothers strengths. But she must be in what I have been told an affair fog. I have read now numerous articles about affair fog. And it can take a long time before its over. My question, for you who know: Does the affair log work better apart or being together?
norajane Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 I am so sorry you have to go through this. Betrayal is one of the worst things than can happen to a person in a committed relationship. Betrayal pulls the rug out from under you. I cannot believe, that a 39 years old woman would follow such a flow. And can you believe when I say that I estimated her values so high that even with my mistakes, I believed she could make me a better person. You are seeing your wife in a different light, in a way you never imagined. She has now shown you exactly what she is capable of - this is a time when you must put yourself first because she is putting herself first. You cannot count on her to do what is best for you and your relationship together. She has put her own needs before your relationship. Does the affair fog work better apart or being together? While she knows she still has you in some way waiting for her, she will not be able to see how her life would be without you. She needs to understand the reality of a divorce before she can truly comprehend what her actions will lead to. Bottom line, if you hang around being a doormat, she has no reason to treat you otherwise.
Author eroche Posted May 7, 2007 Author Posted May 7, 2007 You are seeing your wife in a different light, in a way you never imagined. She has now shown you exactly what she is capable of - this is a time when you must put yourself first because she is putting herself first. You cannot count on her to do what is best for you and your relationship together. She has put her own needs before your relationship. While she knows she still has you in some way waiting for her, she will not be able to see how her life would be without you. She needs to understand the reality of a divorce before she can truly comprehend what her actions will lead to. Bottom line, if you hang around being a doormat, she has no reason to treat you otherwise. Thx. Yor are making some valid points here. And very true. I believe that the duration of an affair fog (which can be very long) can be influenced only by something drastic, so a divorce plan, distance, therapy (something comes out from the past, grieving of her former husbands death, his sickness, 2 abortions when she was with him etc etc) is what I have always believed that it would be the best. Even if the therapy reveals things which are not related to our failed marriage. (Btw this goes for me too). I tried distance but she could not leave me alone. Now with support of family she is now not contacting nore seeing me daily anymore. Before she couldnt stop. This gives time for myself to heal. After the affair fog is the socalled `after phase`. This is initiated by the stop of contact which I actually tried to achieve the other week. With no success. Was too soon. She has come to terms that she needs time for herself and will start therapy. She still loves me but ofcourse still in love with him. She also adviced it wasnt fair for me to see her so in love and that she couldnt find the energy to fight for us. I think this was indeed the most honest and fair thing she has done so far. But she didnt want a divorce yet. And your right , so right, her father and I both agreed last week, she doesnt know yet what it is too loose me yet. I need to know if this is a wake up call for a better relationship. If two people do love eachother. And not being death knell. My love is too strong to not fight for it. But at one point I will come to terms. She is acting like a drug addict which is a famous reaction for severe affair fogs. And hence if she starts a relationship with the guy, they would then realise the whole package , deal with day to issues, the divorces of both parts etc . Like normal relationships. But then it all will be too late. One more factor. In one session with the therapist, after dealing with some key issues about me, we talked about the start of relationship of our marriage. Her former husband, who was around 20 years older (and she started it when she was 19), and had died of a heart attack, she started and was in love with me 6 months later. He asked me how long I was in love. I couldnt give him a clear figure but something like 2 years, he then asked me, how long time was your wife in love, I said, 3 years. And then she really was happy when we settled in. he then came with a gentle carefull statement. `Your wife has newer truly grieved her husband. She was not really in state to deal with is and actually, even if it sounds crazy, had an affair with you. The same mechanism appears. Escapism in another form. He then asked me when I started feeling that something was not right, I said, actually after 3/4 years. I felt she was pushing things. He then said, yes, she was looking for a substitute for that love feeling. Marriage, house and perhaps even kids to compensate. Even a dog. And wanted a kid badly which i insticntly said no. Even that I wanted to, I didnt find it for the right reasons. And we moved from the house where her ex and her lived to a new house, things changed. But once it didnt work, all the efforts from her, then it wouldnt take long before she would go-searching for the same feeling. Hence the affair. And even with this guy, if this is not dealt properly, the same thing will occur in several years. Especially because she has been doing escapism with every thing related to the former husband. And to issues with friends having problems with birth,death in family and even pregnacy. So bottom line. In order to deal with the affair fog, she will need to sort some things out. And maybe, in this period, if our love is true, we can work things out. The question is indeed, has her love then really been real. If so, then there is hope. Or it will take too long and my life will be devestaed if I dont take care of myself.
Ruby Tuesday Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 My husband went back and forth like that after d-day. Many of them do. It wont hit them until they (or the affair) breaks down. When they have to live in their self created reality and sleep in the bed they have made. You cannot reconcille (or do anything) with three people involved. So just pretend like you dont care, even if you do. Do the 180. I'm a firm believer in give them what they want and they wont want it anymore. My husband thought he had it made living with OW. They were engaged, he bought her a ring so therefore he didnt have to cook, or clean, or do anything for himself while I struggled and starved and tried to make it through all my days alone, taking care of our little kids, without a father or even as much as an affair partner or a nice uncle looking out for me.. lol. I was the responsible one. Then one day after work, reality had finally settled in his brain. He had called to say he couldn't pick up the kids because he had to work. (Translated = he had plans with OW) I laughed and said you better be working, you have so many wives and children to take care of now (teasing him about his engagement he always denied) you're not going to have time for affairs anymore. And despite my dire (pathetic, humiliated, relegated to being a single mom at my age) straits, I would have it made, because compared to him, he would be supporting a wife, an ex-wife, six kids (including our three) and her three grandchildren. (She has a 21 year old daughter with three kids. You do the math.) Heheheh. Sucker.
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 E I am a firm beliver in do no harm. For all this woman's transgressions against you, it was a sickness that was her's alone. The more you swell on it you make it your sickness as well. Some people are so broken that they cant have long term relationships with anyone like they used to back in the old days. It's time to live your new life, realize that it does indeed go on. You was right to divorce your wife. 8 years is hard to just throw away, but you didnt throw them away, she did. She cant make the hard choices to live with the pain and work through it. She cant go to IC, MC to fix what is broken, she doesnt want to be fixed. It's saying alot about people that have a probelm that dont want to adress them. You have to make yourself healthy and happy. I been through a lot of pain and heartache all my young life. But I'm still here. I'm still moving forward and I'm not stopping, your still mad young go and live!!!
Author eroche Posted May 8, 2007 Author Posted May 8, 2007 I dont know why I thought I had a chance. I had to look for it. maybe all those mixed signal from her. She changed over night. Told me that I should start thinking of myself , but she didnt want a divorse etc. But wanted to live alone for a while. And I shouldnt have any hope. Just over night. Well folks. This tells alot. She went and saw him last Sunday, found the evidence, and now I have just had enough. Even she told me she couldnt promise me not to see him anymore. Well for the first time she kep her promise and didnt lie. Im sorry but last week was a different story. Now its all cool from her end. I will arrange for a divorse lawyer asap. And get this moving. I will also refuse to see her and from now on have any talk. I have made arrangements that i will have her father as a mediator. Even now the friendship has been lost. I am totally devestated and angry. Sorry to have sound so foolish in this forum and being an idiot to think I could make things better. There is a time to know when to deal with things.
norajane Posted May 8, 2007 Posted May 8, 2007 Don't feel foolish. You wanted to fight for something you believed in and believed was worth having. You had hope. Many of us have the same reaction when we discover that our lover has betrayed us - we hope that it's just some kind of temporary insanity and they'll snap out of it and we can fix things. It's part of the process. Now you're onto the next step. Take care of yourself, and good luck to you.
whichwayisup Posted May 8, 2007 Posted May 8, 2007 Don't feel foolish for having hopes! My god, this woman was the woman you married, someone you loved, trusted and respected. She messed up, not you. She is broken inside, and unable to deal with life! She's made alot of mistakes, made many bad choices and in the process of it all, hurt you and lost a real good man. Don't blame yourself and again, don't feel foolish for hoping that she could change. Just shows how much you were willing to give to make things work again. Sorry you're in pain.
Unforgetable77 Posted May 8, 2007 Posted May 8, 2007 Eric my thoughts are with you, u come across as a wonderful caring person I am almost sure she will deeply regret all this..as the saying goes 'u don't know what u have until its gone', I promise u the pain u feel right now will subside with time... be strong, keep posting and we'll keep answering!! u are not alone ((((hugs)))) Unforgetable
Salicious Crumb Posted May 8, 2007 Posted May 8, 2007 I didnt know this topic existed. As a matter fo fact I have placed to other threads which does describe my situation as it is now. It is almost at the end. And my life is shattered. I always though my wife and I could solve any issues which came along. Based on love and friendship. She had a double life for 6 months and continued after it was exposed. I know you all would say fight for it. Not me. Although I am staying in my marriage mainly for my kids, my situation is different. My wife didn't continue any affair an the cheating was over when I found out about it. In your case, she continued even after you found out. Talk about ultimate disrespect and disregard. I guarantee you, if my wife were cheating to this day, she'd be out of the house. Yes, perhaps that isnt something most men would do but I have to simply because I love her and if ever, even that is probably unlikely, will get together we will reach a higher new level. maybe a new level...but I don't think a higher one. I have not only lost a lover, a wife and lifetime partner, but also my best friend. And I am surprised that she can advice love and still do what she is doing. newertheless, I would appreciate if you took the time to read the threads. It may be a bit long, but besides getting counsel and get ready for a divorce I do need to hear people with their experiences. Not a B/W comment, but something which can be seen between the lines. Ask her what she wants...if she says she wants to hold on to this other man, or that she loves him....then ask her to leave the house. If she says she wants to work on the marriage...well, then its your call if you think you can get past what she has done to you. But if she won't leave this affair, then she needs to leave the house and file for divorce.
Author eroche Posted May 8, 2007 Author Posted May 8, 2007 Thx for your support. But I dont think she knws the consequences unless a clear distance or a divorce will take place. I contacted her, invited her , had my say, agreed a few things of our past relationship and then came my demands clearly. No contact anymore, not any what so ever. I would contact her family for any information and demands needed. She is now out of the house for 2 weeks already. I have proof of her visit to her affair, and she denied in a pure lie. Besides, she was very unhappy of the way this ended up. But for me I need to be alone. I will let you know what will happen. Now I just need to sleep and get my energy back. I am totally beaten. Newer have I heard in my life of such a situation.
Darth Vader Posted May 8, 2007 Posted May 8, 2007 You're not to blame at all for her affair, don't let anyone tell you different, if they do, they're probably cheaters themselves. Don't feel stupid, the only person that is stupid is your wife for throwing away your marriage, for hurting you this way. Get out, get away, go someplace different you havn't been to before even for a few days, to clear your head. Visit your family. Don't do anything crazy or stupid yourself, there is someone else out there, trust me, there's about 4 Billion more people out there to chose from. Things will get better, and we're here to help in whatever way we can. Post anytime..........
Author eroche Posted May 10, 2007 Author Posted May 10, 2007 These are my steps; 1. Close all contact. No calls, no sms, no calls etc. Absolutely none. Which is very difficult since I am heartbroken and you seek somehow contact, confirmations etc. She, even that I have asked her to leave me alone, not been able to. Calls, shoe affection etc. These patterns needs to be broken. The emotional fixes are not good for you. I will just communicate to her parents for any communication. 2. Start thinking of myself. Leave the warscene as a warrior. Get used to the old Eric again. I have made my point clear, fought, got exhausted, pannicked, over reacted, made hasty conclusions, you name it. Seeing her emotions changing all the time confused me and was devestating to my stamina. Her need to take care of me, her in love, giving me intimicy for the first time, her closeness with me, kissing and then still be with the guy etc etc 3. Will wait for any final decisions for divorce etc once I have gained my energy. I can and will not start such a process half beaten after more then 2 months of frantic figthing, sense of loss, helplessness, etc So thats my battleplan. She still doesnt want a divorce but I can imagine why. Then again, if she was settled with other guy, she would have left me long time ago. Or that would have happened if he was single. (you see, Im still over thinking) The problem, if I may go back 8 months, in our relationship was performing of intimicy. I have newer been good, but hence always thought she had it and together we could build it up. She newer could give me that 100% and carry that since she was exhausted by taking care of her sick ex. I always think its a bad excuse not to do things in a relationship and get it somewhere else. I think that when you are ina relationship, you should learn to read the signals and together make an effort, and make the marriage become a live again. There is nothing better then to have an awakening. Any form for escapism, work, internet, affairs etc are strong signals. Anything in gact which can take you further away from intimicy, attention and love. Attention and love was always there. And just for intimicy, well...its a two way street. Thanks again for your comments. I just wish my wife had read forums like this earlier. Read about marriage counseling before jumping into an affair. That she went with wide open eyes into it, is clear, but the misunderstandings of her belief of my care and emotions made her go further. If thats true or not, that doesnt matter. The sad part is that we newer had a awakening by ourself. And could have made a wonderfull life without all this drama.
Darth Vader Posted May 10, 2007 Posted May 10, 2007 Sounds like a starter plan to me, just make sure by goin NC (no Contact), that you remain NC. Don't be surprised if she repeatly tries to contact you, don't be fooled. WS's do that to make sure the other spouse is still on the back burner so to speak, it's like they have you on standby incase their NEW relationship doesn't work out, this behavior can/will occur repeatedly. Also, don't be surprised if you just happen to run into her out and about, another tactic WS's use. Just stay NC, and work on YOU!
Author eroche Posted May 10, 2007 Author Posted May 10, 2007 In order to give me peace, even that need to take distance, can someone anaylyze and explain what the "mechanism" of all what i have been through? Is this a known pattern?
Darth Vader Posted May 11, 2007 Posted May 11, 2007 It can depend on the situation, but, you will be surprised to find out how many posted situations like yours, some may be different in some ways, others will mirror yours, almost to an exact copy of your situation. It's like there's a cheaters handbook or something that they go by word for word. Just read some of the other posts in these forums.
Author eroche Posted May 12, 2007 Author Posted May 12, 2007 Folks I just realised and woke up. I am preparing a final letter and will go away. I have found their secret email and read what they had comminicated between them. Besides all their meetings and calls and sms. I am in total shock. I have seen what kind a person he is. And seen how my soon to be ex wife has reacted. He has made excuses that his kids will be fine. He has made excuses that her and i will be friends. And that all arguments I have made he tried to sell her the opposite. They are now together. I know his details, know where they are staying, and know what Im finally am dealing with. Thinking back, I have been such a fool. My heart is broken and I cannot believe the same woman days ago could be intimate with me. I know now it was a test to feel if it was better, Newermind the details. You may be surprised, but this guy left his wife due to sex lack. Because you know when you have a kid, the woman doesnt want to. She hasnt decided because she is worried about the consequences. But she has already chosen for him a long time ago. I will close this. And for her to think that we will be friends is utopia. I will leave while she thinks she can bet on two horses. The romance, the in love versa stability. I will now make that stability dissapear. I feel so sorry for the kids of his. I feel so sorry that two people could not be realistuc and try to carry a dream. A romance and more, escapism. He has proven, what i have seen in mails, an egoistic and manipulating person. No where does he talk about divorce but only said so to her. Im done. But I know now, that the socalled woman who has lived with me for years, is running to the ground. She will loose me, heck she already has. She is close to loose her job and now she is running to a world where she will deal with the aftermath., I do know her well. And in my own egoistically manner, she will newer be happy, the way she started the relationship with him and the way she has ended mine. I know why i fought so much. It may seem stupid when most people say, hey, you should have known the consequences. I fought for my own intregity. I have been through so much in life that it gave me strenght. I also though that her and I had a bond which was strong. I dont care she wants to turn time back, as she says. I dont care what she wants in life. What I do care, is that she has cried just 2 days ago to her parents how much she loved me. And then does this, Even following by car when passing by. I will soon leave my house go where im not disturbed. Go where i can walk with my dog and take care of my work. Go where, i can in slinece pick up of whom i am. I am truly devestated. But yes, i know i will pick up.
Ladyjane14 Posted May 12, 2007 Posted May 12, 2007 There are alot of guys posting in the Separation/Divorce forum here at LS who are going through the same situation that you are dealing with, Eroche. It's a good place for talking about your feelings and sharing support. You might want to read some threads there. Sumdude, ILMW, El Producto, Hurting in NW, Aaaaaiiiiieeee, Azianpride.... these are all men who are muddling through this process just like you are. Check in with them. It's good to have a place to talk about your feelings when your life is changing.
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