hora Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 I have been dating this girl for about five months and yes we have had our ups and downs but i think i have grown to like another girl. I love my current girlfriend to death but we have nothing in common, she has her problems that i help her with, and i think that it is just not the same. The other girl on the other hand have so much in common, our parents communicate great between each other, we share laughs together, we even struggle with very similar family problems and i think she is perfect for me. But is this just what i am feeling now, does she even like me, or should i just be a single? What should I Do, what should i say? Please help.
amaysngrace Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 If the first girl's not doing it for you but the second one is then it's a no-brainer...go with your heart!
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 If the first girl's not doing it for you but the second one is then it's a no-brainer...go with your heart! Bull**** the heart is the biggest liar there ever was. You have to remember why this girl became your girlfriend in the first place. You loved your girlfriend from day one or it grew into love nonetheless. You cannot love two people at the same time. That's very selfish. If you want to remain with your girlfriend I think you should leave this other woman alone. Stop the infatuation. But if you feel like you cant or wont, Then your obligated to tell her the whole truth. At least in the long run she will respect your decision. And anyways she might meet a half decent man who wont think about cheating on her right? How can you love someone but have nothing in common with them? that doesnt make sense.
Trialbyfire Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 The heart doesn't lie. It's the little brain that has a mind of it's own...
amaysngrace Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 How can you love someone but have nothing in common with them? that doesnt make sense. If you're asking this question then you haven't felt the connection yet. He connects with the second girl, not the first. Again I say to go with your heart. But only do so if you can make sense of things.
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 If you're asking this question then you haven't felt the connection yet. He connects with the second girl, not the first. Again I say to go with your heart. But only do so if you can make sense of things. But he says I love my girlfriend but we have nothing in common, then if that was true then they wouldnt be together. I dont see 2 people falling in love with each other if they dont have anything in common. Something he said just threw me off. Lke I said he's being selfish stringing two women along. Going with the heart doesnt always equal happiness. What happens if he leaves his girlfriend for the OW and the Woman isnt anything like he imagined then he realizes he left a good woman for nothing. What kind of choice is that?
amaysngrace Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 What happens if he leaves his girlfriend for the OW and the Woman isnt anything like he imagined then he realizes he left a good woman for nothing. What kind of choice is that? Then it's a lesson learned. But there is nothing wrong with following what's in your heart. That's called being true to yourself. He said his parents and her parents are friends. They would all become family if this has a happy ending. They'd have lots of people pulling for them. Wishing them well. But he knows himself best. He needs to do what's right for himself. It's not going to be easy if he decides to break-up with his girlfriend, but it's not fair to be with her either if his heart truly isn't in the relationship to begin with. Either way she may be hurt. But I think it's better to have short-term hurt for someone you care about than long-term.
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 Then it's a lesson learned. But there is nothing wrong with following what's in your heart. That's called being true to yourself. He said his parents and her parents are friends. They would all become family if this has a happy ending. They'd have lots of people pulling for them. Wishing them well. But he knows himself best. He needs to do what's right for himself. It's not going to be easy if he decides to break-up with his girlfriend, but it's not fair to be with her either if his heart truly isn't in the relationship to begin with. Either way she may be hurt. But I think it's better to have short-term hurt for someone you care about than long-term. :confused: HUH??? So you actually are saying it is okay to just up and leave somebody because your heart isnt into it. It's okay to leave one relationship right into another without giving it a second thought? That's thinking rather dangerously and impulsively dont you think. For all he knows this woman could be a psycho. What if that happens and he starts to get hurt then what? He's about to make possibly one of the biggest mistakes of his life and your saying it's okay? WTF is you smoking? lol. Seriously you dont just leave someone because your infatuated with some one else. That's not right, there's a difference between right and wrong. Your only seeing this through rose colored glasses and the truth is he could be possibly be leaving one relationship for something a whole lot worse. He has to think logically!!! Weigh the pros and cons. Right now he's in a haze, he cant think straight. Also if he's gonna leave he should tell his girlfriend the truth!!! if your gonna bounce dont be a coward and lie about it.
amaysngrace Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 :confused: HUH??? So you actually are saying it is okay to just up and leave somebody because your heart isnt into it. It's okay to leave one relationship right into another without giving it a second thought? That's thinking rather dangerously and impulsively dont you think. For all he knows this woman could be a psycho. What if that happens and he starts to get hurt then what? He's about to make possibly one of the biggest mistakes of his life and your saying it's okay? WTF is you smoking? lol. Seriously you dont just leave someone because your infatuated with some one else. That's not right, there's a difference between right and wrong. Your only seeing this through rose colored glasses and the truth is he could be possibly be leaving one relationship for something a whole lot worse. He has to think logically!!! Weigh the pros and cons. Right now he's in a haze, he cant think straight. Also if he's gonna leave he should tell his girlfriend the truth!!! if your gonna bounce dont be a coward and lie about it. Yeah if you're heart's not in it the right thing to do is to leave. Set the other person free to find someone who's heart is in it. And yes, he should do it as soon as he makes a decision. Not get a taste first and then decide. That's cheating and that's wrong. He already says he and she have nothing in common. He's already looking at what's wrong with their relationship. Maybe he's chasing some "being in love" high or maybe he knows what he wants and she's not it. Whatever. But staying with someone you just don't feel it for is wrong to both people. Nobody wants to be with someone who's out there looking to see what they're missing, and nobody wants to be with someone they're just not that into. Just for the sake of having someone by their side. Well, maybe some do but they are head-cases. Anyway, life is about choices and it's about taking chances. Which is why you need to think things through and follow what is best for you. And OP, you have to really think hard about the fact that your parents do get along. Make sure you're not thinking of this second girl in order to please your parents. Not to say that you are, just make sure that you aren't.
Author hora Posted May 7, 2007 Author Posted May 7, 2007 that is what i think should be done but how do i tell her
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 that is what i think should be done but how do i tell her Tell her the damn TRUTH!! is that so frickin hard. I mean how do you love someone you have nothing in common with hora? Are you sure your not just making excuses to get out of your relationship. It is a young relationship I get that but think of the bad possibilites that might happen if you end up with the new woman and she isnt everything you wanted to be. It's your choice. Reap what you sow.
IpAncA Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 I have been dating this girl for about five months and yes we have had our ups and downs but i think i have grown to like another girl. I love my current girlfriend to death but we have nothing in common, she has her problems that i help her with, and i think that it is just not the same. The other girl on the other hand have so much in common, our parents communicate great between each other, we share laughs together, we even struggle with very similar family problems and i think she is perfect for me. But is this just what i am feeling now, does she even like me, or should i just be a single? What should I Do, what should i say? Please help. I'm not going to tell you what to do. If you don't want to stay with your gf then let her go. Let her find someone she has something in common with. If you want to be single then do it. You didn't mention how old you are so it's hard to really hard to post something.
torranceshipman Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 You don't love two women - you have a big crush on one, and you care about, and have history with the other. Sounds from your post like you've already made up your mind to pursue something with girl no 2 and you CANNOT do that unless you've ended it with your girlfriend first. The most important thing is that you act with honesty and integrity, and respect the 1st girl as much as you can by making a decision based on what you really know you want (sounds like you want girl no 2), and acting decisively (by telling girl 1 its over, but don't say there's another girl involved as that would really hurt her more). Sounds like you're holding on to BOTH as you don't want to lose either, and because you are too frightened to front up and give the bad news to girl no 1. But you have to, else you'll really be disrespecting girl no 1, and hurting her more in the long term. Everyone experiences temptation at some time so thats why its important you deal with those feelings in an honest way. And when you are really in love, you wont 'think' you're in love, you'll know!
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 You don't love two women - you have a big crush on one, and you care about, and have history with the other. Sounds from your post like you've already made up your mind to pursue something with girl no 2 and you CANNOT do that unless you've ended it with your girlfriend first. The most important thing is that you act with honesty and integrity, and respect the 1st girl as much as you can by making a decision based on what you really know you want (sounds like you want girl no 2), and acting decisively (by telling girl 1 its over, but don't say there's another girl involved as that would really hurt her more). Sounds like you're holding on to BOTH as you don't want to lose either, and because you are too frightened to front up and give the bad news to girl no 1. But you have to, else you'll really be disrespecting girl no 1, and hurting her more in the long term. Everyone experiences temptation at some time so thats why its important you deal with those feelings in an honest way. And when you are really in love, you wont 'think' you're in love, you'll know! You are so on point Tor, this cat is majorly confused, he might be giving up something good for an unknwon variable, is he really gonna give up his girlfriend who he claims have nothing in common with but is so in love for someone he just met? I think he lusts after this other woman and is blinded right now not thinking clearly. But I think he should tell her the complete truth. imagine that he dumps the girlfriend but get's with the second chick and the then ex sees them together? Imagine what's running through her mind, not only did her boyfriend dump her for someone else, he lied about it. Just know that whatever you do in the dark has a way of coming to the light, whether you like it or not. If your man enough to do it, then be man enough to live up to it as well. best wishes, CB.
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