CryingCanuck Posted May 6, 2007 Posted May 6, 2007 As many of you know, I lived with the fear of my X hurting herself for years, I refused promotions at work due to the fact that they would take me out of town more than I was already travelling, I would get scared if I called home and there was no answer, I would get scared waking in the middle of the night to not find my X in bed. The biggest fear I had was the fear of her actually doing something to herself and one of the boys finding her. That I would never forgive her for ....I was driving myself NUTS with worry, and finally it hit me, yeah ....you do yourself in...., yeah you leave us behind, we will mourn you, we will bury you and WE WILL GO ON.. And eventually we will forget you.. Life has a way of helping us deal with our loss and where will you be?. I thought of hurting myself for a few split seconds during the worst of our separation but those were just thoughts, in agony, fear, rejection and simple immaturity.. They left faster than they came.... If I sound calous in what I said about someone who is thinking of hurting themselves, sorry, but living with that fear for so many long years made me so... AND one last thing,, and this may get some going here today... IT'S the most selfsih thing a person could ever do,,,, and the most gutless. CC
Author Gunny376 Posted May 7, 2007 Author Posted May 7, 2007 Suicide? Maybe briefly. I wanted the pain to end, not my life. Homicide? Oh yeah..... :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Woggle Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 No woman is worth killing myself over so I would not never do that. I had thoughts of suicide when I was younger and thought I would live the rest of my life in poverty but I am glad I never went through with it.
Author Gunny376 Posted May 7, 2007 Author Posted May 7, 2007 Really good post CC and dggirl ~ outstanding! The two of you may have saved someone's life today! :bunny:
ilmw Posted May 7, 2007 Posted May 7, 2007 Really good post CC and dggirl ~ outstanding! The two of you may have saved someone's life today! :bunny: Your so right Gunny... and this was a great Thread to start.
dgiirl Posted May 8, 2007 Posted May 8, 2007 Really good post CC and dggirl ~ outstanding! The two of you may have saved someone's life today! :bunny: I'm only paying it forward. So many people were there for me, some without even realizing the affect they had on me, helped me tremendously. It's great that you started this thread Gunny!! I think it is important to talk about. Too many people think they are alone and isolated and that noone could know the pain they are feeling. But forums like this help us share our thoughts and we realize that we're not as alone as we think. That people HAVE been where we are now and they've moved beyond, and if THEY can find happiness after such a dark time in their lives, then we can too. It's a little bit of pride and stubbornness, and a little bit of sucking it up, but we ALL have the strength to move beyond this.
Author Gunny376 Posted May 8, 2007 Author Posted May 8, 2007 I'm only paying it forward. So many people were there for me, some without even realizing the affect they had on me, helped me tremendously. It's great that you started this thread Gunny!! I think it is important to talk about. Too many people think they are alone and isolated and that noone could know the pain they are feeling. But forums like this help us share our thoughts and we realize that we're not as alone as we think. That people HAVE been where we are now and they've moved beyond, and if THEY can find happiness after such a dark time in their lives, then we can too. It's a little bit of pride and stubbornness, and a little bit of sucking it up, but we ALL have the strength to move beyond this. I remember running into a fellow Gunny at Camp Lejeune, and him telling me, "We were worried about you back then?" I never was suicidal~ but I was very much homicidal! No joke! Thankfully, I had the presence of mind to call a damn good friend to come and get me! I self-checked myself into the psych ward of the Naval Hospital for 24 hours. I damn glad I didn't knife that young, dumb, stupid 22 year old kid from Texas that was cheating with my wife!
head/heels Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 your attitude sucks and for you to pipe in on someone who is having suicidal thoughts with your "maybe suicide isnt so bad bull****" is sickening and you should be castrated with rubberbands so that you dont pass on your defective genes into our population. disgusting disgrace of a person you are
Delarocha Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 Greetings all, it's been a long time since I have posted and honestly stumbled on this thread. A few months ago my separation from my wife literally killed me. I felt, and still feel to some extent, completely flattened. I know that many people here have felt the same heartache, but the fact is we all deal with it differently. Never in my life before have I cried every single day, almost all day, for weeks on end. Depression runs in my family, but I guess I really had my head buried in the sand and assumed I was just fine. When the separation occurred I hit the lowest point in my life. In between crying I thought about suicide many times. I felt embarrassed, felt I had no friends, felt my entire life was falling apart. Although I never attempted to kill myself I finally woke up one day and realized that thinking about doing it as much as I had been was clearly a sign that I needed help. I just couldn't shake those feelings no matter how many books I read, or how much I went to the gym, or how often I talked with family members. In reality I did not avoid killing myself because I thought it would be selfish. After all, when you feel completely alone and isolated you also feel there's nobody else to hurt. I didn't just want my pain to end, I wanted my life to end because I felt that my life was over. The truth is, my life as I knew it WAS over. I realized I needed help and big time, so I got some. So, am I now a 100% happy person? No... but I feel the good things coming back into my life. (Maybe I am just noticing the things that were already there all along.) I try to make goals for myself. I try to read things that make me feel happy. I try to be outgoing and make new friends. The point is, looking back I can't imagine how suicide even crossed my mind, let alone lingered there. Life is full of joy, you just have to work to find it. Sometimes you just can not do it alone. If you are one of those reading this who is considering suicide, believe me, take the time to get some help; it can't make things worse. I sincerely thank each and every one of you... Your wisdom was for me a catalyst to pull out of my nose dive.
Ladyjane14 Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 Thanks for the update, Del. It's good to hear that you're starting to feel better. :) Excellent post too.
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