darkspace Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 Hi, ive just broke up with my partner two days ago, my friends have asked me out for the day, i know i should go out and do things and see other people, but i just cant, id rather stay in my house and just read and watch tv...i'd rather be out with her, but know i cant :-( I just want to be fixed as soon as possible, i know it involves keeping busy and seeing friends and doing activities, but part of me just wants to look at old photos and cry and mope :-( Link to post Share on other sites
frd150 Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Hey Darkspace, I feel your pain, as most of us on here do and i i real sorry. I felt exactly as you do up to about a month ago. 1.lost alot of weight,made myself sick 2.isolated myself 3.work suffered 4.went on ativan to cope:( 5. i would not only look at pics i would look at objects that reminded me of her and cry. Wierd i know. I forced myself back into the world. I re-connected with old friends and family i lost touch with. I joined a gym and had lots of dental work. It was never that bad but it looks pretty sweet now:D . Do things that keep your mind off of the situation. Get out of the house! This really helped my self esteem and attitude towards this whole crappy thing. I decided that i have to live as if she will never come back. Who knows she might but putting all my faith in that was ruining me. Yeah, you need to grieve and it is natural but keep in mind that it will get better with time. It really hurts i know because i was physically sick for about the first two months but i am now on the road to recovery. Sorry but i have to ask but can you share some details about what happened. It might help you get more detailed advice. p.s. Ok ,don't get me wrong i still ache but it is much less than before Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Its only been 2 days darkspace. Time..it takes time. If anything else worked that quickly someone would be a millionaire selling it in a bottle. Give yourself time to grieve. Link to post Share on other sites
Author darkspace Posted May 4, 2007 Author Share Posted May 4, 2007 Thankyou for your reply, a lot of what you are saying sounds familiar! We had broken up several times before and got back together, we were so in love, but love just isnt enough, we were very different people and didnt fit into each others world, so it was kind of a mutual decision, no begging from either of us, but still some nasty things said :-( I had a dream that we were back together again, its just going to take time i suppose to realise that its just me now in this world. Im forcing myself to out today, even though i REALY REALY REALY REALY dont want to, i just want to sit here on my own and battle though it, but know its probably not going to help. Im on day 3 now, did i read somewhere that it takes 21 days to get over an addiction for the brain? Thankyou again Link to post Share on other sites
Journey1220 Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 We are going through something eearily similar. Me being a week old however I just started talking and seeing again the girl who I was grieving over. When I get the intestinal fortitude to initate true no contact, I will be back in your shoes exactly, grieving, losing weight, isolation, depression, the whole nine yards. I know this isn't going to work out with her, put she pursued me this time. I am going to have to be strong and cut the strings and never look back. Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Me being a week old Wow.... the pain of love knows no age barrier. -tp ok, i tried. Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Thankyou for your reply, a lot of what you are saying sounds familiar! We had broken up several times before and got back together, we were so in love, but love just isnt enough, we were very different people and didnt fit into each others world, so it was kind of a mutual decision, no begging from either of us, but still some nasty things said :-( I had a dream that we were back together again, its just going to take time i suppose to realise that its just me now in this world. Im forcing myself to out today, even though i REALY REALY REALY REALY dont want to, i just want to sit here on my own and battle though it, but know its probably not going to help. Im on day 3 now, did i read somewhere that it takes 21 days to get over an addiction for the brain? Thankyou again My friend, The first think you need to think about is the fact that you've "broken up several times before". Right there is the first sign that something isn't right. Coming from experience, I tell you this. My ex threatened to (and sometimes did) walk out on my like every other month in our relationship, but I always took the blame and "promised to work hard to make it right". Sometimes, when you are in a relationship that "ends" constantly, it's just not worth it. I'm living proof. Almost a YEAR (wow!) without her, and just as long NO CONTACT, I know exactly how you feel, but I also know.... it gets easier. The 21 day thing...well, everyone is different. It took me about 6 months to shake off the pain she caused me, and honestly, when someone breaks your heart and really hurts you like my ex did to me, you are NEVER 100% "cured" of it. All you can do is focus on yourself, make yourself into the best person you can be, and that will attract the right kind of person. An "on again/off again" relationship is just dead weight in your life. Consider this a signal to you that it might be time to just move on. It really DOES get easier. As I tell a lot of new guys around here, click on my name and read my old posts, and you'll see where I've come from. I was engaged to what I thought was "the perfect woman", and she ripped my heart from me. I didn't swallow a bullet, shoot up an office building, or plow my car into a crowd. I fought like hell to keep my sanity and rebuild my self-esteem, and I'm still here. Still fighting, in some ways, but it's a fight I'm winning. You can, too. Keep us posted, we're all on YOUR side. -tp *humming the Rocky theme* Link to post Share on other sites
Journey1220 Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Wow.... the pain of love knows no age barrier. -tp ok, i tried. LOL Teacher i am miserable and that made me chuckle Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 LOL Teacher i am miserable and that made me chuckle Part of my charm... lol What part of Jersey are you in? -tp charming. Link to post Share on other sites
Journey1220 Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Part of my charm... lol What part of Jersey are you in? -tp charming. Im from Northern NJ and you ? Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Im from Northern NJ and you ? Hey, me too! I'm in Bergen County..... You should hang out with us one night. We're always less miserable in person! lol -tp bring it on! Link to post Share on other sites
MagnoliaJane Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Yep, we were all going to get together, remember? -MJ *what happened to that plan? Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 Yep, we were all going to get together, remember? -MJ *what happened to that plan? This is true. Check your PM's. -tp unofficial party planner? Link to post Share on other sites
Journey1220 Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 Hey, me too! I'm in Bergen County..... You should hang out with us one night. We're always less miserable in person! lol -tp bring it on! I think im too miserable to hang out but sure send me a private message even though I have not a clue how to retrieve it on here. Im not far from the Short Hills Mall LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 I think im too miserable to hang out but sure send me a private message even though I have not a clue how to retrieve it on here. Im not far from the Short Hills Mall LOL. Hey! Never say you are too miserable to make new friends.... Making new friends is what CURED my misery after my ex left me. In fact, 3 of those great friends are LS members! We always have room for another lost soul. :) -tp ringleader of the unfortunate Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 Journey... We do a lot of our "hanging out" in the Passaic/Essex county areas.... If you like chinese food and karaoke, you'll fit right in. Next time we plan some sort of local outing, I'll PM ya with the info. (You can see if you have PM's by looking in the top right corner of the screen when you go to the Forums list... just click the link to see 'em. -tp karaoke king. Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 I think im too miserable to hang out but sure send me a private message even though I have not a clue how to retrieve it on here. Im not far from the Short Hills Mall LOL. I work 15 minutes down the road from Short Hills Mall. hehehe :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 I work 15 minutes down the road from Short Hills Mall. hehehe :-) Journey, meet Ariawoman. Ariawoman, met Journey. *puts on some Lionel Ritchie music* -tp hello? Link to post Share on other sites
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