shecat28 Posted May 3, 2007 Posted May 3, 2007 I have been very "nice" and accommodating in my separation proposal, allowing my ex to visit our child whenever he wants and even driving the 40 minutes to either drop him off or pick him up. I have also only requested about 70% of what I am entitled to for support. My only issue is that our child not spend overnights there because my ex is addicted to prescription drugs and takes a lot to sleep at night, and therefore cannot hear our child , if he awakens. Our child is two years old. He is also an alcoholic, 7 months sober, who has been to rehab 3 times in the last few years, and also on record, several hospital visits to address to either detox or receive treatment for withdrawls. He is, however, financially secure, and while not giving me any money, has hired a high powered attorney who specializes in father's rights. Can the courts really grant him overnight visits when it endangers the child? I have been told to go for his throat and quit being so kind. I am a true believer in "honesty is the best policy"; but as he lies and bullies me daily, my beliefs are wearing thin. Any thoughts or advice?
Ladyjane14 Posted May 3, 2007 Posted May 3, 2007 I don't know anything about Canadian law, but I would think that it's possible to come to some kind of out-of-court agreement. Possibly something whereby your STBX could submit to drug-testing and provide affidavits from his medical doctor regarding his ability to appropriately supervise a toddler while using prescription medication. It sounds like you don't have as many financial resources as he does when it comes to going to court. Perhaps offering him an alternative, even a difficult one, would be more advantageous. He might not like it. But as a known drug user, he could end up in much more dire straits than whatever you might propose... with the court mandating SUPERVISED visitation even. Going into court with you is a risky move on his part. Use it to your advantage.
Lizzie60 Posted May 3, 2007 Posted May 3, 2007 I have been very "nice" and accommodating in my separation proposal, allowing my ex to visit our child whenever he wants and even driving the 40 minutes to either drop him off or pick him up. I have also only requested about 70% of what I am entitled to for support. My only issue is that our child not spend overnights there because my ex is addicted to prescription drugs and takes a lot to sleep at night, and therefore cannot hear our child , if he awakens. Our child is two years old. He is also an alcoholic, 7 months sober, who has been to rehab 3 times in the last few years, and also on record, several hospital visits to address to either detox or receive treatment for withdrawls. He is, however, financially secure, and while not giving me any money, has hired a high powered attorney who specializes in father's rights. Can the courts really grant him overnight visits when it endangers the child? I have been told to go for his throat and quit being so kind. I am a true believer in "honesty is the best policy"; but as he lies and bullies me daily, my beliefs are wearing thin. Any thoughts or advice? He's been sober 7 months.. so he is recovering. If the child has never slept there, how can you say he will not wake up? I doubt very much the judge will take away his rights. There is not really anything you can say that he's done wrong so far. He will probably wins this. I understand your concern but fathers have rights too.
Author shecat28 Posted May 3, 2007 Author Posted May 3, 2007 He's been sober 7 months.. so he is recovering. If the child has never slept there, how can you say he will not wake up? I doubt very much the judge will take away his rights. There is not really anything you can say that he's done wrong so far. He will probably wins this. I understand your concern but fathers have rights too. He has not drank in 7 months. He is a binge drinker, not a daily, functioning alcoholic. He falls off the wagon every 8-10 months or so, drinks for 2 months straight,no work, no contact with anyone, then goes to rehab for 28 days. It's not the alcohol I'm worried about anyway. He takes prescription meds, percocets during the day and ativan and oycontin at night. He only just moved out 2 months ago and when he lived with us, he was unable to wake up in the middle of the night when our child was crying. I have not infringed on his rights at all. I have agreed to overnight visits provided he submit to drug testing, which he will not agree to do. It's not like I'm withholding our child from him. He has liberal access daily. He can keep him right up until bedtime. My child is not at an age where he can run out of the building if it caught fire and I'm not about to take the chance and wait for something to go wrong.
ilmw Posted May 3, 2007 Posted May 3, 2007 You can look a lot of this stuff up on the inet.. just google it.. and yes you can make a out of court.. agreement... but.. only problem is.. it is not enforceable.. with out a judge putting their rubber stamp on it.. If you have concerns.. you need to get yourself down to your nearest court house.. and get a interim custody order... The staff in the Family Court Office can give you some direction.. You can also pick up a booklet.. Like I said.. google it. Hope that was of some help:)
mammax3 Posted May 4, 2007 Posted May 4, 2007 Googling Divorce Canada will bring up the government website and there's a ton of info there. Good luck!
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