Guest Posted May 2, 2007 Posted May 2, 2007 Hi all, I've been reading the posts on here for the past couple of months and decided to get some advice. I was with a wonderful guy for about 7 months. For the first 5 months, we were completely on the same page. Shared interests, Eequal affection, "best friends", GREAT sex, the whole nine yards. I never pressured him about marriage, kids, etc. I never got upset when he went out with the guys because I saw that as my chance to get with the girls. Basically, I had a life too. Some time in January, things started getting weird. (ok, this is bad) I was snooping on his computer and found emails he was sending back and forth to some girl he does business with. It was pretty innocent, however, he was talking to her like he was trying to get to know her. I wasn't really jealous, but felt more betrayed. The way they were talking was how he and I used to talk. Anyway, I brought it up to him.. perhaps not as calmly as I should have He assured me I had nothing to worry about and begged for my forgiveness. By then, it was too late. The "seed" had been planted and from that moment on, I was suspicious of everything. My thoughts consumed me and I started getting upset any time he wouldn't invite me over or make plans with me. I even got upset when he didn't offer to meet me for lunch one day. Eventually, I acknowledged that I was getting way too dramatic and needed to get over my jealousy issue that stemmed from a previous relationship. I had my b/f meet me a neutral place and told him that we should take a break. I told him I loved him dearly and that it was just a break so I can deal with the crap I had in my head. He was upset but agreed to it. After about 3 days of N/C I called him and told him I was miserable and wanted to try to work things out. He then told me that his perspective had changed and now he doesn't know if he wants to be in this relationship. I was devestated. We both cried (him more than me.. I was still in shock this was happeneing to us). I asked him to think about it for awhile and we'll talk again soon. The next time we talked, he had made his decision and said he didn't think it was going to work. We saw each other a couple of times after that and even got intimate, but nothing had changed. I tried to discuss it with him again, but he said there is no alternative. I know I should move on, but I miss him so much and know that once I got over my issues (which I have been working on for the past two months), things would be even better. Is there any hope for us? I love him so much
TheRealBigOMan Posted May 3, 2007 Posted May 3, 2007 Try not to dwell on the past too much. Sure you made the mistake of acting jealous and insecure, but you can't fix that now. If he decides he doesn't want to be with you, the best thing to do is probably to move on. It is no good to be in a relationship with someone who doesnt really want you back.
Teddy and Jane Posted May 3, 2007 Posted May 3, 2007 I'm sorry but there really isn't anything you can do. Actually I think there is something going on with him and that other girl, now he is totally free to go out with her. I think this is for the best. Next time I would never tell him outright that I was the jealous type and it stemmed from another relationship, great way to make a guy run for the hills. I would NEVER even consider snooping through a guys emails or IMs or texts, and I have had plenty of opportunity in the past to do so. It is just showing your disrespect. If a bf did that to me, I'd probably dump his a@@.
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