Princess Jasmine Posted May 2, 2007 Posted May 2, 2007 Help Me Figure this out please! O.K,...Its Long! but Please Read!!! In November 2006, a guy friend invited me to this church thing that went on all night. His brother was the youth pastor, who was speaking at the podium. since it was going on all night, we had to take a break, and then I got introduced to the youth pastor. He was nice, he asked me what church I go to, (small talk) and then I asked him if he had a myspace page, and he said yes. So I told him I would send him a friend request, and he said o.k. The next day, I added the youth pastor as a friend and he accepted. He would somtimes let me know when him and his friends from the youth were going to gather, and invite me to there church, but i would never go, because i didnt know them very well. ...A few months later, I wrote him a e-mail on myspace asking him if he had ever attented a Bible school,.. he told me to call him, so I did, and we talked for hours, which isnt a big deal for me, but was for him, because he acted like it. ...but THATS WHEN I REALIZED THAT I WAS KINDA INTERESTED IN HIM! He asked me out to lunch a few times, and i was always too scared to go! ...but one day he invited me to his brothers welcome back party, and I went and brought a friend. Then another time, he invited me to the movies as a group. Then another time he asked me to the movies with his friends, but while i was driving there, he called me on my cell and said his friends flaked out and if I still wanted to go. I said yes! of course. It was fun, being with him. he cracked jokes acting silly, making me laugh. I didnt like the movie, so i kept chit chatting with him off and on. He wanted to leave the movie early, to go meet up with his brother and friend to go eat. I was cool with it. ...but really nervous. When we got there, his friends seemed shocked to see me there a little. ..but they were still nice though. his friend got me a soda, and the pastor got me a plate and napkin. Then we just ate. I felt kinda awkward because I was the only girl, and they were acting silly. but it was cool. Then afterwards, he walked me to my car, hugged me goodbye, and helped me find my way back home on the cell phone, (I was lost). then 45 minutes later, he called me to make sure I got home alright. I was happy. But then, he stoped calling me! my friend convinced me to send a text message and say: hi, how r u? so I did. He wrote back saying: cool, about to minister. ...so three hours later, my friend convinced me to write another text, saying: I dont know if your busy, but can we talk. Then he called back right away!, and i asked him have I been acting weird latley, and he said I havent hung around you long enough to know if you have been acting werid or not. I was embarrassed!...and just said well, I just wanted to appoligize. and he said, oh, its ok. Then he told me about his night. and then said ill talk to you later. ...but Its been 5 days! and he never calls me unless he has something to say! ...so was he interested, and not anymore because i did something wrong??? please tell me what you think!!!
jcster Posted May 2, 2007 Posted May 2, 2007 How old are you and how old is the youth pastor? It sounds like he's invited you to a lot of things, but you didn't go - this might be giving him mixed messages. Try not to be so self-conscious, you'll have more fun.
Guest Posted May 2, 2007 Posted May 2, 2007 *Thanks for the reply* He is 23, and ill be 22 this month. so do you think he is interested. I did hang out with him after a while. You think he lost interest?
Author Princess Jasmine Posted May 2, 2007 Author Posted May 2, 2007 *Thanks for the reply* The pastor is 23, and I will be 22 this month. So do you think he is interested? I did hang out with him after a while. Do you think he lost interest?
jcster Posted May 2, 2007 Posted May 2, 2007 I don't think that you did anything particularly wrong, but I think that you are depending on him to make the next move, which may not work in your favor. I also think that you shouldn't have called him to apologize for "acting weird," it's always far better to just try and make a better impression the next time you see him. Have you considered asking him to a movie or something like that? You can make it a small group outing, and spend some time paying attention and talking to him. It's really too soon to tell if he's just being a nice guy - but it is obvious that he likes you in some way, since he calls you to invite you on outings. My advice is to calm down and not worry about what sort of impression you are making on him. I really think you should do the inviting next time...and if he invites you to another event - definitely go (no chickening out)!
Author Princess Jasmine Posted May 3, 2007 Author Posted May 3, 2007 *ThankYou* soooooo much jcster! I worry a lot, I dont know why. I need to stop, I know. But I just feel so dumb for calling him back and apoligizing for absolutly nothing, you know? I dont know if I have enough guts to ask him out, but I hope he ask me out again, because Im going to definantly say yes.=) Another thing that worries me is he hasnt called me back yet. I thought if a guy likes you, then he calls. ..but thanks again! *God Bless*
TheRealBigOMan Posted May 3, 2007 Posted May 3, 2007 It sounds like he is interested in you because he invites you to so many things and calls you. If he was not interested, then he probably would have ignored your text messages. I think jcster is on to something. You did decline a lot of his invitations, so he is probably not sure if you are interested in him. Hes probably afraid of looking bad asking you out if you aren't interested in him. I think you should try asking him out, so he knows you are interested. Doing something is better than just sitting around waiting from him to call. If hes not interested, then this way you will know and can stop waiting for his call. Nothing wrong with the girl taking charge
Author Princess Jasmine Posted May 3, 2007 Author Posted May 3, 2007 *Thanks TheRealBigOMan* I do want to get in contact with him, but I just dont want to seem annoying, just in case he lost interest, you know? I forgot to mention that I sent text messages saying "Hi" to him,... and he wrote back.. "whats up" and i wrote back... "nothing,..just hi, thats all". lol ...so I think he knows Im interested, Right? I just really want for him to call me, so he wont think im a stalker. lol Thanks Again. *Blessings*
TheRealBigOMan Posted May 3, 2007 Posted May 3, 2007 being a guy, i know Guys can be REALLY stupid sometimes. Sometimes we just don't get the hint. Good luck! If he finds you annoying hes not worth your time anyway.
monkey00 Posted May 3, 2007 Posted May 3, 2007 Im not your friend and I dont know what he's thinking. But I would probably treat you that way if I just considered you a friend...but hey you never know! good luck
Author Princess Jasmine Posted May 3, 2007 Author Posted May 3, 2007 *Thanks Monkey00* That also makes since, which I have to consider. =)
Kamille Posted May 3, 2007 Posted May 3, 2007 Hi Jasmine! I think you need to be more proactive and you need to set up the next activity. I had been on a few dates with a very endearing man. I hadn't heard from him in a few days and I debated whether I should contact him or wait for him to initiate. Yesterday I made a big lunch, called him and invited him to a lunchbreak picknick. I figured if that freaked him out, he wasn't going to be mine anyways. We had a great time and are seeing each other again tomorow. I am sure you did nothing wrong. Take your time with the youth pastor. Whether or not things work out with him, you lose nothing of who you are. I know this is hard, but be confident in yourself and don't take his actions personnally. You have no way of knowing what is going on in his life. Finding the right match is complicated - which is why dating can so torturous. My married friends are actually all envious of my dating life: when I complain about the torture, they always answer with: oh it's so much fun, isn't it? And I know deep down they are absolutely right. Dating is fun, isn't it?
Author Princess Jasmine Posted May 3, 2007 Author Posted May 3, 2007 *Thanks Kamilli* I will figure something out, but I just dont want to seem like a stalker, or be annoying to him,...in case he's not interested. If he would just call me!...Then I will confidently take your advice. Thanks again! *God Bless You*
jcster Posted May 3, 2007 Posted May 3, 2007 I can't imagine that he will think you are a stalker - you're just not the type. Just think of something easy to do with him - go out for coffee, or lunch - that's pretty low stress, and go from there.
Guest Posted May 18, 2007 Posted May 18, 2007 if he was interested it would not wait 5 days to talk with you and would have asked you out again. Stop calling and texting him. Back off and see if he comes around. Guys love the chase.
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