Ronniej Posted May 2, 2007 Posted May 2, 2007 My boyfriend has proposed to me 6 times always in a large group of people. We intially were supposed to get married this Spring. The last time he proposed was a year and a half ago. He has never gotten me a ring. He initially told me to pick one out and I thought it would be more special if he picked it out. He keeps telling me he will get me one and never does. I finally picked one out and showed it to him. Still no ring. He keeps refering to me as his wife and recently asked my parents if he could marry me, becuase we were getting married soon. I am just flat frustrated. Everytime I attempt to discuss this with him he comes up with excuses that he is just being lazy or just has not had time. We have a really good relationship and get along really well. But this is just driving me nuts. I moved in with him a year ago and am really starting to feel like I shouldn't have. We are in our 40's. This is just rediculous.
Princess Jasmine Posted May 2, 2007 Posted May 2, 2007 I think the reason that he is in no rush to get married, is because you guys are already living the married life. To me, living with a man is for a marriage. I think you should let him know again, that it is bothering you that you guys are not married, and then find some place else to stay for a while, until he decides to get serious. Then when you do that, watch how quickly he will get you a ring, and try to figure out when you guys should get married. GUARANTEED. What your doing is taking away something that he has, then he's going to realize how important it is onece its gone. Good Luck and *God Bless*
Ruthieo01 Posted May 2, 2007 Posted May 2, 2007 I think the princess is right! You have already given him that feeling of Marriage. In his mindhe doesn't see the point in the s[COLOR=black][FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]ignificance [/sIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]of the ring or wedding. He is married now. I would move out not only till you get a ring but also till you get married. Have fun before you get married and are going to be living with him for the rest of your life. Also if he doesn't prove to you that he is serious in a realsonable amount of time, then I would think about moving on. Even though your a little older, doesn't mean that you should be with a guy who doesn't truly value your worth. You can find what your looking for if he isn't it. Good luck!
Author Ronniej Posted May 2, 2007 Author Posted May 2, 2007 Thank you for the good advice. I have already SERIOUSLY considered moving out.
jcster Posted May 2, 2007 Posted May 2, 2007 It sounds to me like he just likes to talk about it and considers that good enough. It doesn't sound like he's considered the fact that you are believing him every time he proposes and what it's doing to you when he doesn't follow through. I think it's time for a real heart-to-heart talk with the guy and find out what's stopping him. Has he been married before? If not, he might be procrastinating out of fear of doing something wrong.
Enema Posted May 2, 2007 Posted May 2, 2007 Why do you so desperately need to be married? You have him, his love and his life... why complicate it?
Author Ronniej Posted May 2, 2007 Author Posted May 2, 2007 His 25 year marriage ended 5 years ago. She cheated on him. I sometimes think he is affraid of me doing the same to him and at times I wonder if he is really over her even after all she did to him. We have been together for three years now. I am very old fashioned and believe in marriage.
jcster Posted May 2, 2007 Posted May 2, 2007 I think you really need to decide if marriage (or lack thereof) is going to be the deal breaker for you. Then, you need to talk to him about how you feel. It sounds like he's conflicted - he might think that marriage will change the relationship, and he's been burned before. Do you know what you're going to do if he decides he doesn't want to get married? I think you need to set the boundaries with this guy - for your sanity if nothing else.
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